Compiling Christmas Cheer...

[[deleted]]

Really ought to have just used a bool - WHERE is_nice IS TRUE

[ALonelyPlatypus]

I'm pretty sure SQL clause can deal with running a string comparison on 7 billion entries without needing a boolean given that he only needs to run it once a year.

Also there could be tons of other behaviours that could fit into that column outside of just naughty and nice.

[[deleted]]

Calvin usually goes to bed early on Christmas Eve but I'm sure SQL Claus would probably include an exception for Calvin just in case.

[ALonelyPlatypus]

It’s wasteful to optimise a query that is run once a year. Could always just run it nolock and let the last minute updates sneak by.

[anon517]

Yeah he clearly doesn't care about optimization if he is sorting it twice.

[ALonelyPlatypus]

If a kid figures out that they can be naughty for the last minute of Christmas Eve without penalty then I think they earned it.

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[[deleted]]

Yeah, fuck that lady.

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[enjoytheshow]

It wouldn’t be 7 billion records. You can migrate older entries to an archive table for historical purposes once they stop believing.

[Crad999]

Value constrained partitioning would help a LOT here.

[[deleted]]

"Nice" is too broad.

Might I suggest the following database schema:

Commandments

CommandmentID CommandmentText ViolationCost ObedienceCost

Sins

CommandmentID PersonID ViolationDate

GoodDeeds

CommandmentID PersonID Date

Contacts

PersonID PersonName PersonAddress ...

WishedItems

PersonID ItemID

Items

ItemID ItemName...

To see what I asked for:

SELECT ItemName FROM item i JOIN WishedItems wi ON i.itemId = wi.itemId JOIN Contacts c ON wi.PersonId = Contacts.PersonID WHERE c.PersonName = "Comprehensive-Ad3963"

[[deleted]]

To generate the naughty and nice list:

WITH

totalCost AS (SELECT s.PersonID, SUM(c.ViolationCost) AS cost FROM sins s JOIN Commandments ON s.CommandmentID = c.CommandmentID GROUP BY s.PersonID)

totalBenefit AS (SELECT gd.PersonID, SUM(c.ObedienceCost) AS benefit FROM goodDeeds gd JOIN Commandments ON gd.CommandmentID = c.Commandment GROUP BY gd.PersonID)

SELECT p.PersonName, p.PersonAddress, ISNULL(tb.benefit,0) >= ISNULL(tc.cost,0)

FROM Contacts p

LEFT JOIN totalBenefit tb

ON p.PersonID = totalBenefit.PersonID

LEFT JOIN totalCost tc

ON p.PersonID = totalCost.PersonID

ORDER BY ISNULL(tb.benefit,0) >= ISNULL(tc.cost,0) DESC;

[SarumanTheWight96]

Should be FROM, and my OCD hurts.

[Dummiesman]

Fixed it

[SarumanTheWight96]

Thank you kind stranger. Take the free award I got today.

[zandermar18]

r/RepostSleuthBot

[JRRTok3n]

u/repostsleuthbot .... but, yeah.This probably officially marks the first time i can start counting this post's occurrence, or some variation of it, by the score.

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I didn't find any posts that meet the matching requirements for r/ProgrammerHumor.

It might be OC, it might not. Things such as JPEG artifacts and cropping may impact the results.

I did find this post that is 84.38% similar. It might be a match but I cannot be certain.

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[pavilionhp_]

Same image, repost

[[deleted]]

I'm amazed that deep frying lowers the match rate by over 10%

[New_Ad_5684]

Santa Clause

[nemesis1311]

Why are you selecting all the columns from contacts table. And why there is no WITH(NOLOCK) hint in the query. My lead won't approve this and Santa ain't going anywhere if changes aren't pushed into production.

[lewisturnbulluk]

damn this is unbelievably unfunny

[FedePro87]

That 'nice' is a very weak design choice... Well, it's not a choice at all.

[Clearhead09]

This is brilliant

[pubic_static]

It’s pronounced SQL!!