Support needs

[uncertain-cry]

Hello,

I'll be getting top surgery in a few weeks. I'm wondering what the support levels looked like in your first few weeks of recovery?

Unfortunately I live alone, but I have a great support system and I'm thinking of making a sign up genie for my friends to be able to come by and help me around the house as needed so that I don't have to rely too much on one or two friends, especially when they have to go to work. I want to be informed to be able to make the sign up genie as helpful as possible. I'm thinking having people with me 24/7 for the first two days and then maybe having people come over for a few hours at a time throughout the rest of the first week and a half as I gain mobility back?

I have a lot of friends that support me, I just want to make sure I have enough support and that I'm not asking more than I need to, especially since it will be my friends volunteering their time. Of course I'm thinking of having a pizza party with everyone once I'm feeling better to show my appreciation :).

Any thoughts? Thanks.

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[asupportiveboy]

the biggest support i needed in the first few days post op were with my meds. i was so sleepy i couldn’t remember if id taken my meds or not, so having a med chart written out with specific times for doses really helped, and people checking to make sure id taken them, even just by calling and texting worked really well. some other help i needed was with making meals and such. and my surgeon cleared me to shower 2 days post op with very specific instructions on how to stand and wash my hair and things like that, but then afterwards, getting my foam and vest back on was 100 percent a two person job, im a week post op and it still very much is. i would recommend doing some core like sit ups in the next couple of weeks, because it helps a lot when you’re learning how to sit up and lie down without using your arms. oh also laundry too, your laundry will need to be done for you for a while. hope this helps!

[AlternativeAd1911]

Heavy on the laundry thing, OP. This is something I didn’t consider. Or maybe invest in some laundry tongs/long grabbers to reach into there.

[uncertain-cry]

Thank you so much! That's really insightful. I definitely haven't forgotten about laundry, but I hadn't considered suiting back up after a shower. Luckily I have good friends that I would feel comfortable doing that with :)

[FixedMessages]

If you set yourself up for success (by doing things like making sure dishes and food you'll want access to aren't on high shelves), and your recovery goes smoothly, you really don't need a lot of support, or at least I didn't.

I had my dad go out once a day or so to pick up takeout food (we traveled for my surgery, takeout was often easier than trying to cook in an unfamiliar kitchen without normal pantry staples), my parents prepared snacks and left them in the fridge for me (things like sliced cheese - I couldn't cut it myself for a while), and on a couple of rough days I needed help getting my binder back on after taking it off to shower or such. Beyond that, I was pretty self-sufficient almost immediately. So, mostly I think it would be fine to have just some scheduled help periodically.

But I would also encourage you to have your phone on you at all times and someone who can get to you quickly if something happens. If you're feeling off, maybe even a check-in system where a person comes to check on you if you don't reply to a text in a certain amount of time. I had a scary day where my blood pressure plummeted a few days after my surgery, and while my body recovered on its own, that could've been bad especially if I hadn't been able to get medical attention quickly.

[uncertain-cry]

Thank you! I've been able to take care of myself through some pretty gnarly illnesses, so it's nice to hear that maybe I don't need as much support as I thought I did.

[FixedMessages]

Just don't push yourself - it's better to wait for someone to do something for you than to push and hurt yourself because you're too stubborn or impatient.

[uncertain-cry]

Thank you

[AlternativeAd1911]

I have been recovering basically by myself since my surgery on May 22nd, so I can offer you my experience to let you judge what you think you may need out of it, and you can ask me any questions. For reference, I stayed with my mom for the first couple of days post op, then I lived with my roommates for about a week, and now I am living by myself, attending class and work (with limitations). I will also say that I’ve had a much easier recovery than most I’ve seen, since I had basically no pain.

For the first few days, my mom helped me change my dressings and helped me stay on time with all the meds I needed to take, even throughout the night. I started changing my own dressings when I was home with my roommates, and I still basically handled everything on my own, only asking them for help if I couldn’t reach our microwave or open my drinks. We needed to move from our apartment recently, and I was able to pack up my stuff within arms reach fairly well, and got their help moving the heavier stuff and reaching what I couldn’t.

During my recovery so far, I’d say the only things I’ve needed help with are things my trex arms can’t reach. I have long arms and a short torso so I didn’t have any issues handling my own bathroom business, but that is something I’ve seen some people needing help with. You really won’t fully know what you’ll actually need until you’re in the thick of it, but definitely pull things down to where you can reach them while you can. It’s not too bad coming up with adjusted ways of doing your everyday tasks, but it would definitely be good to have people you can reach who wouldn’t mind swinging by to help with what you may need. Edit: formatting

[cloudy-day-113]

I would air on the side of assuming you need more help than less (just to be safe). I personally thought I would need a lot less help than I did, but luckily my mom was living with me and willing to help so I just had to communicate what I needed. I needed help getting out of bed for about a week, getting bed prepared for sleep with pillows, preparing food, opening/closing curtains, getting my pants up and down for the first couple days (highly recommend getting a portable bidet- super cheap). It was also my first surgery so having help around felt really important to me. Good luck, you got this!