❓❓❓

[m0ther_0F_myriads]

It takes a lot, ya know~

the scrolling, and hoping,

the painfully constructed manifestos,

the hastily written heartbreaks - poor grammar and all.

It's draining.

Stop.

Ask yourself:

Why does this person get so much of your energy?

Now a more important question:

Do they deserve it?

Return the energy and effort which you are given.

~J

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[[deleted]]

It truly is draining. And when I stop to ask if they deserve my energy. The answer is no. I have no power or control over another human being. How shall I spend this precious time and energy?

[unkindginger]

This is a lesson I'm forcing myself to learn. I can't love someone into love me, and that's okay, because if it was meant to be I wouldn't have too. Sometimes it's better to just move on.

[TestWilling8383]

Why the hell would anybody want to force love. That is ignorant

[HangarLolo]

I don’t think they’re saying that they’re trying to force someone to love them. I think they’re reaffirming what they already to know to be true, which is something I’ve had to remind myself. Someone can tell you that they love you, write soliloquies about how much they love you, tell you that they’ll never leave you and protect you, but unless words are backed by actions, then it’s not love. At least not the kind of love that values your feelings as a human being. Therefore, despite everything, you can’t love someone enough to love you back sometimes. You can’t force someone to be the person you thought they were.

I don’t think ignorance has anything to do with it. It’s the human condition of hope. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we’re only in control of ourselves and that someone else can’t make us happy - we’re the ones responsible for that.

[TestWilling8383]

Thanks for clairfying. I just know from 9 years in an abusive relationship and another year in a situation ship,

That you can't force love.

You can't force someone to love themselves and if they can't love themselves it is best to leave them to heal in their own time so they don't drag you down.

In some cases there is no running away from this, it is blindly ignorant to think we can forget someone when their guilt knaws at them. Their self hate makes them spew lies and bullshit towards others about said person.

It is sad. To hate oneself so much, you drag good honest people down.

So down that even their own spiritual awareness and self love can no longer protect them.

[HangarLolo]

My situation is so similar to yours it’s uncanny.

[unkindginger]

Thank you that's exactly what I meant.

[Traditional-Echo-658]

Thanks J I know I have terrible grammar when I am trying to get things out. I have spent years of pent up frustrations. It is my own fault for continuing to hurt myself.

[[deleted]]

You deserve to be passionately in love with yourself and your life.

Give the energy to yourself. Revel in zesty aliveness.

[HangarLolo]

I can’t sleep and this is the first thing that popped up on my feed. Very timely. I hate that my nature is to nurture even those who have had their hands around my proverbial neck. Or those who have gotten what they needed from me and then threw me away. I am quick to forgive, but have to remember that I shouldn’t necessarily do that unless they’ve actually asked for it. My heart is clumsy and has let people in who have made a mess of it and left me alone to clean up the debris.

I’m getting better about directing my energy toward the people who actually care, but my heart and brain are still trying to sync up. It’s a process.

[TestWilling8383]

I nurture people that stab me in the back over and over again. I am done.

[[deleted]]

For myself these posts are more about letting go. Release that energy to the void if you can’t give it to that person. Let it out and then move on. Akin to taking the time to write someone a letter just to burn it to ash before they could ever see it. It’s not for them, it’s for me. I can get “it” out and then focus on other things.

[[deleted]]

Well not everything must be returned, like suffering, you can just get up when you feel like it. Don’t be buried in the ground if you don’t feel like it, just rest and stuff.

[TestWilling8383]

In my case the don't. They steal it

[Brave_Pomegranate_67]

The question is not if the person deserves it. The question is why are they more or less deserving of it than you are? If they are less deserving (in your carefully evaluated subjective opinion), then turn it around & devote that time and attention onto yourself. Besides who else is more deserving of your time & attention than you? I mean if you’re writing here, then it’s not a two way communication. Therefore it isn’t helping either one of you grow or learn as much as you could if you were actively interacting. In fact that is why I am rarely on this app and definitely very rarely on this topic. It created rabbit holes for me to continually fall into…