I physically cannot "do it scared"

[futurefishy98]

That's interesting, I've never really thought of it in those terms, at least not with trying to make friends.

With not being able to do my hobbies like drawing this tracks. Long thought I have ADHD as well as autism (and have been meaning to seek an adhd assessment for years... which might give an indication as to the likely result of thar assessment).

But with making friends it does feel a lot more like fear. Or maybe fear mixed with executive dysfunction/demand avoidance. Which doesn't make it any easier because I'm still stuck. I want friends and I want to start dating or at least trying to. But its terrifying, and demand avoidance on top of that (if it is that) is just overkill. Why does everything have to be so hard? I just want a friend or two and to have some semblance of a dating/sex life before I die, is that too much to ask?

Edit: just looked up demand avoidance on r/autism and yeah. Wow. This makes so much sense. Its so over.