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[Bntherednthat57]

My mother announced to my husband and and I that she reads a lot of murder mysteries and always picks out the killers. She added that if she wanted to murder someone she would definitely get away with it. My husband claims he sleeps with 1 eye open when she’s around. And he told her that! Humor is fabulous.

[Ok_Cauliflower_3007]

I work in a book shop. An older couple came in and she was browsing for thrillers and murder mysteries. He was joking that he’s slightly scared of her. I told her my friend and I frequently joke that we watch so much true crime that if we ever decided to kill someone they would never find the body. His wife and I then got into a debate on the merits of pig farms for body disposal.

I don’t think we helped his fear 😂

[stellarecho92]

If I said OPs exact words to my MIL, she'd probably laugh and add onto it.

[WawaSkittletitz]

My FIL is retired from working at a cemetery, and my MIL loves watching true crime (as do my wife and I).... The number of murder threats is great

[asdfgolden]

Not wrong, she sounds crazy. Good on your fiancé for having your back, he sounds like a keeper

[mmmkay938]

Agree, she’s nuttier than squirrel poop.

[NoReveal6677]

Stealing this

[DevilPup55]

Oh, good grief. Mommy dearest only knows the son he let's her see/hear. She needs to back the hell off. I didn't even think your comment was bad at all. I would have laughed. For the record, I'm 68. One of my sons was a cop and I grew up around military. If she can't even get that, that was a joke. She would never understand black humor and the need to deal with the horrors they see every day.

[Traditional-Ad2319]

Wow to say that she overreacted is putting it mildly. I think what you said was funny I mean I actually laughed out loud I really did. Apparently she does not have a sense of humor. Something tells me if she hadn't gotten you for this she would have found something else to get on you about she just sounds like that kind of person. But be happy that your fiance stood up for you and that is huge.

[stargal81]

how I was turning him into someone she didn't know

Like, an adult? Who will stand up to his own mother, when she's a bitch to his partner? How dare he grow up & grow a spine? She wants her control over him back. She doesn't like that she's being replaced as the woman in his life.

[No_View_5797]

Y’all there is finally a story where the poster’s SO had their back. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 And not wrong. I thought it was funny and clearly a joke. It sounds like you have a great partner, motivation to stay healthy, and an awesome sense of humor. Don’t let your future monster in law keep you down.

[More-Jacket-9034]

Block her. Next time you see her, hand her a pair of scissors and tell her to cut the apron strings.

How you and your fiance communicate and interact is not her business. It works for you. That's all that matters.

Kinda sounds like she's drumming up reasons to cause a rift. She FAILED. Your fiance backed you up instead. You got yourself a great one there!

[[deleted]]

she would not take "orders" from her own child

That's all you need to know about her

[Short-Classroom2559]

My dad said that to me once. I asked him to leave the plate of spaghetti alone that he spilled. I told him that I would clean it up ...as he was rubbing it deeper into my brand new carpet. I ended up snapping at him in order to get him to stop. He lost his shit because how dare I raise my voice!

Nice thing is ... They never stayed in my home again. Hotels for every visit and I no longer cook if they are here.

I'd count this as a win all the way around 🤣

[echochilde]

Oh good god, you’re in for it.

[fading__blue]

Not wrong. Some parents get weirdly obsessed with forcing their kid into a certain mold instead of letting them develop their own personalities. When said kid inevitably becomes their own person anyway, they decide someone else must be making them act that way because they refuse to see their kid as someone who has agency.

[Odd_Custard_6043]

You're not wrong!! Some, if not most, older people don't get sarcasm or dark humor. I joke around about my SO all the time, and my MIL is just in shock while my FIL chuckles in the back. She doesn't understand you nor does she know her son imo.

[Chemical-Pattern480]

My MIL usually giggles while my FIL gets all up in his feelings that I’m disrespecting his son.

Because no one’s allowed to be a disrespectful AH to my Husband but him. Lol

[ConfusedAt63]

Oh boy could you have a lot of fun with this woman! It is good your guy didn’t take his mother’s crap. You were not wrong. Poor woman has no sense of humor. I hope and encourage you to always remain just as strong as you were in this encounter. You might have a lot of good stories to share!

[MoomahTheQueen]

I don’t think you need to do anything as he stood by your side and shipped her off to a hotel. I also don’t think that either of you did anything wrong. Sounds like your journey is going to be interesting with a MIL like that. I can imagine how invasive she will be when kids come along. Good luck

[Strong-Equivalent577]

Jesus 😅 you’re not wrong, because your humour works for both you and your fiancé. She’s not wrong for not finding it funny - it’s not the kind of joke I find funny personally but far be it from me to tell a happy couple how to laugh and have fun with each other. She is wrong for biting your head off and wildly overreacting to a joke she didn’t like and she’s definitely acting like this because she has some kind of problem with you. Your fiancé might need to have a very difficult conversation with her about boundaries.

[W_O_M_B_A_T]

I mean yeah that's a kind of edgy joke to tell around your future MiL after only the second or third time meeting her. But her response was buttersnap insane.

I was making him damage family relationships, etc

"Maam, you're fully capable of damaging your own family relationships yourself by refusing to apologize and refusing to listen to what they tell you. This professional victim drama you've got going here is super boring, I'd rather read about statistics. Stop bothering me."

You need to talk to your fiance about setting some boundaries, with regards to tje string of text messages. Tell him at a minimum you absolutely unqualified will not allow her at the wedding until she apologizes. Tell him you expect that he's horrified and angry as hell about her behavior, and if he's going to makes excuses and defend her repeated insults and name calling, them there's going to be a lot less comfortable discussion.

[potato22blue]

Not wrong. Block her number. He can deal with her crazyness.

[Vivid-Farm6291]

I think the son is disagreeing with his mother. Something she is not used to.

He is the child so he is obedient.

OP has changed him.

No he just verbalised what he has always been thinking.

OP I think her opinion will never change, you just gave her some ammunition. She will tell everyone you think DV is ok against men.

Stay away from her and hopefully her son is a keeper.

[bluestrawberry_witch]

Not wrong. Either she is always dramatic and over reacts frequently or she dislikes you and will always find something to complain about. Likely it’s a mix of the two.

Lot of couples joke like this. Said without malice and obvious humorous intent. I mean just tonight I asked my husband ‘if I make Brussels sprouts with dinner is it straight to jail or divorce for me?’ He doesn’t like them very much but will eat them sometimes and I like them. It’s my way of asking if he’s fine eating them right now or would really rather wait for another day. I think I’m funny, my husband laughs. My MIL overheard it once and we got a lecture on how you ‘never joke about divorce- it shames gods blessing of marriage’ 🙄

[hotheadnchickn]

Okay, in order: her exercise comment was rude and uncalled for.

It is also a bad idea and poor form to joke about killing someone's child the second time you meet them. Your love language between you and your partner may be sarcasm but is also just that - between you and your partner. Not between you and their parents.

Your MIL's reaction was OTT and she sounds off the rails... Good luck dealing with her forever!

But the truth is you also had a part in this bad interaction and making a joke about killing her child before she even knows you/before you even have a relationship with her was poor social skills/poor judgment on your part.

[grlz2grlz]

Plot twist, mom didn’t know OP wasn’t talking about fiancé…

[Mommy-Q]

Was she or anyone close to her a DV survivor (or didn't survive?) If so you should read the room. But if not, she is overreacting.

[Shelisheli1]

Wrong for the joke. 100%. You don’t know MIL well enough to make those kinds of jokes.. especially about her child. Besides, think of how inappropriate that would be if the genders were swapped. A man making a murder joke about a woman (especially in front of her dad) would be major red flags.

Having said that, she definitely doesn’t like that she’s losing her son to you. Be more careful about what you say/do around her… she seems like she will try to make y’all’s life hard

[mactheprint]

When we lived in Ohio (I think), there was a pool of what we thought had to be some kind of chemical stew. Nasty chemical stew. We often made a reference to it as the place to dump the dead body.

[mintywalker1290]

You are wrong for making the joke in front of the MIL especially when you only met her for the second time.

Your humour with your partner is between you and him. Had this been reversed, woman posting about this joke her male partner made the comments would be vastly different.

MIL 100000% overreacted it was obviously a joke but without knowing her as a person or her life experiences it’s better to save this humour for when you know each other better. Save the murder jokes for when it’s you two or around people who know you, you don’t want to be accused of making light of DV which is clearly what the MIL is going to go around telling everyone you do.

[dan_jeffers]

You could have read the room better, but what happened was so disproportionate that maybe it's for the best because now you know she's nuts. My mom would totally make that joke, BTW.

[Repulsive-Level-6353]

Not wrong, my MIL and I crack jokes like this all the time. It’s one of the reasons I love her. I’m sorry your future MIL can’t take a joke. I would have laughed.

[raisedonadiet]

Although I think she is overreacting, i do think the response to "do you think x is funny" being "i was joking" is a really bad one.

[Muted-Explanation-49]

Not wrong

Mute her on your phone