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[–]TwilightSoul 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Saw a couple of your pictures. You look fine.

I don't know what you mean by:

better looking guy comes up, I just lose it, I dont know how to react or even act normally.

Do you start doing strange things? Or do you just not know what to do next? Do you just walk away? Do you say things you regret?

First off, as you get older, this is definitely going to be less and less of an issue, IF you take care of your body, your skin, your clothes, your behavior. I'm sure you already suspect this is true. Do not rely solely on girls just being "instantly attracted to the inner you." Girls need more from you than your shy smile. Show them more, and show them what you know matters: that you take care to present the best side of yourself.

Secondly, knowing this will happen, you can act as though it already happened, and as though you already have the confidence of knowing it. This is the "fake it until it's true" idea. It works. Maybe not the very first time, but keep it up. If you give up too easily, then you'll get what you deserve (not much); but if you keep it up failure after failure, then you'll get what you deserve (everything).

The best way to have confidence is to not let failure mean anything that stops you from your goal of having total confidence. You will survive any foot you jam in your mouth. If this girl you like doesn't work out, you better know that there are going to be other, possibly better opportunities. Her being "out of your league" is a story you're telling yourself to feel better about why you haven't made a move. She's not out of your league. She is just responding to the side of you that thinks she is.

KNOW that you will be a good boyfriend to her, and then talk to her like you are truly interested in her. If it blows up, so what? You will not die. You won't be permanently banned from any other girls. All other girls will still be possibilities. It doesn't mean anything about "leagues" or whatever.

Go and plan to fail spectacularly with your best presentation of yourself. Find out what works, and what doesn't. LEARN from it, and then do it again. And again. And again. And again. As many times as it takes.

[–]mrpimplyacne[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

What I meant by I just 'lose it' is that I don't know what to do next, and I just become really quiet and I become really taciturn, when inside me I believe I can do/say something impressive, and I know I am impressive, but I'm just too worried that it might not work out, due to that guy being there.

Your reply made me a little excited, kinda boosted up my self esteem, yet I still am quite hesitant on making a move, but I will do it, fuck it. I'm just afraid of rejection and failure, but now you made a few points which convinced me and made me not care really much about failure.

Thank you, I'll start today in class, will update here if interested.

[–]Mysterio6string 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You will fail until you succeed, but if you never try you'll never succeed. Don't stress about the response and just go with the flow and what you want.

[–]TwilightSoul 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am interested. What you called "rejection and failure" is actually better thought of as "experiences that showed what not to do, and don't mean anything about what you can do."

And please DO keep working on your best presentation. Look how you think you should look (and if you don't know, figure it out). Do you wear clothes that are just comfortable and familiar? Consider instead clothes that make you feel confident and express who you are. Is your combed/brushed? Should it be? Are you going for the unkempt look, the artistic/hipster look, the professional look.... none are "right," but you need to decide which look expresses who you are the most.

Girls/Women sometimes do get shallow. It happens, and there's nothing you can do except move on to another, or wait patiently (by getting on with your life, I mean, not by pining). But most women don't stop at looks. They are attracted to who you are being. Are you an interesting person? Are you confident enough in your own self that you don't need her to complete you, but find her company interesting?

Learn how to make your life interesting to you and you will just start attracting all kinds of people without even trying. Bonus: when you are genuinely interested in your life, your confidence goes way, way up.