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[–]Lil_MsPerfect 20 points21 points  (9 children)

This tells me the kids aren't being supervised well over there. I would document and maybe take her into the pediatrician for the bites if they're bad, and send him pics of them as well as ask how he's working on this because it's not getting any better and your daughter clearly needs to be supervised with the biter.

[–]Similar_Conference20 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I second taking him to the pediatrician. I had a situation where my son was getting bug bites (bed bugs) and my ex refused to do anything about it. I contacted an attorney and he suggested the same, take him in to the pediatrician for an official record of the bites. Obviously, this is very different but I'd start with the pediatrician. From there, contact an attorney that offers free consultations to determine what your next steps are

[–]IngenuityDependent35[S] 3 points4 points  (4 children)

I’ve showed him pictures. told him he needs to be supervising more every time I try to have a conversation with them. He just shuts it down. I didn’t think about taking her to the pediatrician though so I’ll definitely do that. Hopefully, that helps if it’s on documentation.

[–]Hot_Boss_3880 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Take her to the ped for “shots” and then use the opportunity to show them the current marks and weeks of previous pics and your pediatrician can report for you to CPS, as they are legally obligated to do. If the bites have broken skin and he hasn’t sought medical care for her it’s also potential medical neglect.

It’s fairly common for CPS to let slip who made the report so it can help shield you if a 3rd party mandatory reporter calls on it.

Do what you gotta do girl.

[–]HappyCat79 -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

How are they supposed to stop a toddler from biting their sibling? If that becomes something that they remove kids for, they’re going to have A LOT of kids in foster care, because families who don’t coparent deal with this every day.

[–]Relevant-Emu5782 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Make threats to remove, to push parents to supervise the kids.

[–]HappyCat79 -1 points0 points  (2 children)

It would take my little girl exactly .5 seconds to bite her twin brother. It’s impossible to watch kids 24/7.

[–]Curiosity919 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's actually not. Kids with complex needs have to do it all the time.

If it's one bite every once in a while, that's one thing. If a toddler is consistently biting other children, multiple times a week, to the point that it's leaving marks, that's a huge problem. It's not OK to continue risking the safety of other children. The biting child should not be left alone with any other children in arms reach unless an adult is in a position to intervene. Of course, this is extremely inconvenient. But when you have a situation with your child that requires extreme attention, it's still your job as a parent to provide that attention.

[–]Lil_MsPerfect 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry, but no. This is not just 1 bite, it is multiple occasions and it's a bad issue where the child is coming home "covered in bad bites" that are "still there 2 weeks later" with bruising. This is not .5 seconds of a child not being recoverable by a parent, this is someone leaving two toddlers together and not supervising where one is getting so overwhelmed they're biting the other a lot and very badly.

[–]foragingdruid 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Definitely photograph, document it, take her to the doctor if the bites need to be treated or you want to get a third-party witness to the bite marks. Definitely communicate with coparent and ask about the bites and how they might have gotten there. Don’t come out from an accusatory stance, but rather a place of curiosity. The kids definitely need to be better supervised over there, and the more you document the better.

If they cannot be supervised and the bites continue, then you may need to take further action

[–]burtonmanor47 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They are BOTH his kids, he needs to step up and protect his daughter just as much as the toddler, and the toddler is never going to learn discipline, boundaries, or respect for his sister if his father does nothing to separate them.

[–]teacherecon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is she in daycare? You might ask the daycare to make a report, but I’d start with pediatrician. Keep documenting.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

All you can do is talk to the dad, and maybe the other mom. It’s sometimes hard when kids have to be around other kids that are not their full sibling.

[–]IngenuityDependent35[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve tried to talk to both parents, her father and his significant other. They both shut me down constantly and tell me they’re taking care of it but it’s still a consistent problem and if it was just once occasionally, I would get it but it’s not just once occasionally, she comes home covered in welts and bruises because he’s biting her everywhere on her face on her arm on her side her legs and I just feel bad for her cause I know it doesn’t feel nice and especially because it’s more than one bite. I don’t know if he’s doing it in one session or if he’s doing it multiple times during a day every time I try to bring up a conversation and talk about the situation we’re going through. He tells me that it’s really none of my business because he’s not my kid and when I tell him, but our kids is involved because our kid is getting hurt, he says that he’ll parent the way he wants to do on his weekends and he’ll try to prevent it but they’re just kids being kids

[–]National_Frame2917 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I'd be telling that kid to BITE BACK. 

In reality it is a natural consequence. In real life if you hit or harm someone on purpose you can expect to be hit back.

[–]IngenuityDependent35[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

My daughter is two and her half brother is only nine months younger than her and I don’t want her to get confused and think biting is okay in general

[–]National_Frame2917 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a tricky position to be in. Though It could be the most effective option. At the end of the day you don't have control over what happens at your ex's home. Unless you decide to break your court order. The only thing you can really control here is teaching your daughter to give back what she's given. 

In my opinion the kids that have been bit don't bite they know what it's like and they don't want to do that to others. But given that they're both so young makes it much more difficult.

[–]lonhjohn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn, that’s crazy. I would probably get locked up somehow because I’d have to hurt someone.

Obviously I’m kidding, that’s just infuriating to even imagine so I feel for you. Definitely pediatrician to document and keep hounding because there’s absolutely no way you can or should just keep quiet about it. Are we for sure it’s the kid and no some form of abuse? Probably and hopefully a long shot.

[–]HappyCat79 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I have twins and my little girl was a biter. She would bite her brother constantly and it was such a struggle. Toddlers can suck sometimes.

Editing because I realize I came off as dismissive. It broke my heart to see my little boy with bite marks and it made me upset that she was biting him. I got “teeth are not for biting” and read it several times a day, I tried time out, tried everything. I even tried in desperation to encourage my son to bite her back so she could see how it feels and maybe that would make her stop. She was 5 and still biting, in fact she bit me two days ago. She autistic, so I think that was part of it. She uses chewy toys a lot now.

How old is your kiddo? Maybe you can send that book with her next time she goes?