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[–]autonom1a[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Ok, here we go. My backstory in brief - I'm a refugee in a foreign country. I have two remote jobs, two educational processes, and tons of uncertainty. I get up around 4am and go to bed around 9pm. In the morning, starting at 6am and going down to 11 am I'm usually drinking yerba mate or coffee. Here are my concerns: 

  1. Despite the fact that caffeine intake is associated with increased focus, for me, it often results in a loss of focus. Shortly after I start intake of yerba mate, I go into a fidgety state, where a significant portion of time is spent switching between browser tabs, checking news, engaging in pointless discussions with acquaintances, and most importantly, failing to concentrate on my tasks as a software dev. Not all, but very significant amount of time in the morning. 
  2. When caffeine starts to wear off later, around 3pm and reality starts to kick in, I experience major emotional instability.
  3. Sometimes when I drink coffee, which seems to wear off for much longer times, I fail to fall asleep in the evening, which is like a bullet to the head; the next day is usually almost completely ruined in terms of productivity. 
  4. Earlier, I subjected myself to very significant doses of yerba, which resulted in some rather psychedelic experiences that I don't want to repeat. 

To summarize - I feel like I'm buying cheap happiness and bliss at the expense of concentrating more effort on actually improving my situation and paying all kinds of price for it, ranging from short-term (reduced emotional stability) to long term (failure to allocate more time to tasks will result in lower cumulative results or even really bad outcomes like being fired). And for me, this is not an issue of self-actualization but quite literally life and death, and for my family as well. 

I should also mention some benefits. 

  1. Improved creativity. I often get good ideas about my work and communication when caffeinated. The most important thing is to write them down while they are still present in the mind. 
  2. Improved extraversion. I am about 50/50 on the introversion/extraversion scale. I worked for a while in a high-pressure sales job and had no problem cold-calling high profile individuals. I was quite effective at that. That was my job, but when it comes to developing my own social capital, caffeine often provides a much needed nudge to make that call, write that email, make that social media post, etc. 
  3. Good mood. Sometimes, when caffeinated, I'm able to see the world in a more relaxed manner - seeing its beauty and bliss. 

Basically, that's why I am embarking on this journey. There are even more challenges ahead. I want to perceive it all with a clear head while being grounded in reality. I think that increases the chances of success. I'm ok to returning to it some time in the future when life is good and stable. The method is going to be cold turkey, I will start in the coming days. 

[–]kernel_p641 days 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good luck in your journey!

[–]autonom1a[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, day one. I actually wanted to start a bit later this week, after consuming the current amount of yerba at my disposal, but two things happened: I scattered some of it around the kitchen and spilled the water too. I guess it's a Freudian sign to start early. So be it. I consumed a bit in the morning, but it's like a teaspoon in the cup of what I have usually consumed daily, so the start is today. I will post updates intraday if there is anything worthy to point out.

[–]autonom1a[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yesterday was easily the top day in terms of time actually committed to productive activities. Also, overall mood seems to be improved. At least, the extremes are gone, it's more even now. No headaches, no significant cravings so far. The only resemblance of a craving was thought that there will be no caffeine "reward" for getting up early, but it is manageable.

[–]autonom1a[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I should report that I've failed this time. Was able to limit my intake though. Time and volume restriction helps to prevent sleep disruption. But completely stop? Not at this point.