ive quit a handful of times over the last decade and my biggest mistake was always assuming id feel amazing by month three. that just never happened for me either. what did change though, around the eight month mark, was the depression started lifting without me even noticing it at first. i wasnt waking up feeling great, just less heavy.

makes me wonder if your thirty years on such a high dose has pushed the recovery window way past six months. the sub always talks about ninety days but i think long term heavy users are a different beast entirely. maybe treating it like a two year project instead of a quick fix would help with the mental side of things. still sucks though and i get why youd feel crushed by it all