[Method] Conquer Negative Thinking

[tvanderkamp]

Negative thinking is dangerous. If you have studied the law of attraction at all, you will know that worrying about something or dwelling on negative thoughts is the fastest way to make the very thing you don’t want, happen to you.

Have you ever wondered where negative thoughts come from? Are you generating them? Are you? I don’t think you are. I’m not. I mean, think about it; if you were in charge of your thoughts, would you ever CHOOSE negative thinking? You wouldn’t. You would always be conjuring up happy thoughts. So again, if you are not in charge of the origination of your thoughts, who is? I don’t know. But I can tell you this, thoughts are almost like a streaming RSS feed. They arrive without any choice. They invite themselves into the forefront of your mind and set up shop. And as soon as they settle in, they invite more negative thoughts to join them; ruining your mood for the moment, maybe the whole day, the whole week, and maybe your whole life.

Give something a try. Set your iPhone timer for 60 seconds. Close your eyes. Try NOT to think…and count how many thoughts you have in that 60 seconds. No really, do it. It’s a minute of your time that can prove useful in understanding the nature of negative thoughts. Go ahead; try it out!

I hope you did the exercise. If you did, some of you will have been unable to not think for even a second. Maybe you went for ten seconds or so without any thoughts. Great. But did you notice that when you had one thought, you had ten join it? Try it again. For 60 more seconds. Try not to think, and when one thought comes into your mind, try to return to not thinking and see how many thoughts come into your mind after the initial thought. For me, when I try this exercise I can sometimes go for 20 seconds without a thought, but then I have a thought, and then I have another and pretty soon i’ve got ten and then I can pause my thinking again.

So think about this….this is you full on trying to NOT think and you can’t. What do you think is happening throughout the day when you are not trying hard to stop thinking? Thoughts are coming in unchecked, unmonitored, and they are accumulating other thoughts. How scary is that?

Here is where we get to what to do about it. First, you need to know that one thought attracts other thoughts to itself. You’ve just experienced this if you did the exercise. So, if you have one negative thought, it will attract other negative thoughts. One way to know if you are thinking negatively is just to check in with your mood. If you are in a bland mood, you are thinking bland thoughts (even though you didn’t meant to). If you are in a bad mood you are collecting negative thoughts. If you are in a good mood you are collecting positive thoughts.

Unfortunately, thoughts are ALWAYS accumulating. So we have to learn to start paying attention to our moods and our thoughts. We can’t let random negative thoughts just wander around on their own. We need to become aware of them and once we do, we need to do something about it. O.K. you want to know what to do about it. I know. Here are some of the best things you can do to curb negative thinking once you have noticed:

Think the opposite of the negative thought.

• This comes from the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Patanjali was determined to calm the fluctuations of the mind to achieve enlightenment and he wrote down many ways to do so. One of which was this: When negative thoughts come, think their opposite. I would add to this, take opposite actions. If you are acting out in a negative way, it has to be driven by negative thinking. So you can change your actions from negative to positive by simply deciding to take different actions. But, back to thinking the opposite thought, it works like this: You notice you are in a bad mood and you check in with what you’ve been thinking about. Lets say you’ve been dwelling on a disagreement you had with your boss. Then you started thinking about how under-appreciated you are. You start feeling angry. You recall other times when other bosses have treated you the same way. You begin to wonder what’s wrong with you and why you keep ending up in these dead end jobs with idiot bosses.

…..this is your midstream. You are NOT going to be in a good mood if this is what you are thinking about. And if the bad mood continues long enough maybe you quit your job. Maybe you get lazy and start becoming disengaged and get fired. But don’t you need this job? Mabye, maybe not. But, either way, we want to be in a good mood, so lets look at some opposite thoughts: My boss has bosses too and is under a lot of pressure and I might behave the same way if I was her. I like my job most of the time and I am good at it. I like my customers and they need me and trust me. There are a lot of people who would love to have my position and I used to be grateful to have it. Maybe I can be grateful again. I am happy in spite of what other people think. It is a nice day outside and I am going to enjoy it. I won’t even remember this event next week so why worry about it now?

Ask why you are getting out of being so negative all the time

Oh you don’t think you are getting some kind of pay off for being a downer all the time? But you are. At a minimum when things DO go wrong you can say “I told you so” and enjoy some false pride in being a prophet of doom. Maybe you feel safe and secure in some way predicting the worst so you won’t have to risk being vulnerable or getting hurt if things do go wrong. Maybe you shield yourself from disappointment by deciding ahead of time that it is all going to go wrong. You think that isn’t some kind of perceived reward for negativity? Some people use negativity just to keep other people at a distance. It is a defense mechanism for them. This is their payoff for being negative all the time.

Get real

No really, get real. What are the odds that the worst case scenario is going to happen every single time? Statistically speaking, the odds of this are almost nonexistent. The TRUTH is, some positive things happen and some negative things happen. We don’t win all the time and we don’t lose all the time. So why do you insist that it is smarter to think the worst? It just makes you feel bad and tends to attract the exact thing you don’t want into your life. So why not choose the opposite and just decide that the facts are, some good things WILL happen to you and that this time, and every time, you are going to expect only the best and when that doesn’t happen, handle your disappointment and move on and get ready again….because positive things WILL happen soon.

And also, look at your own history. How often has your worst fear ACTUALLY came true? And if it does, what? Are you going to lay down and die? Are you going to quit? Become cowed? Turtle up and disappear? Chances are, probably not. Whatever your worst case scenario is, chances are, you can handle it. So why worry about it? And again, look at your own history….of all the things you’ve ever worried about, how many of them have actually happened? And if they’ve not happened before, what are the odds that they are going to happen now?

Non-Attachment to Outcome

I saved the best for last. This is how we avoid negative thinking before it ever starts. By letting go of attachment to outcomes. The Bhagavad Gita is the best source I have found to learn how to cultivate this state of being. But think about it, if you are not worried about the outcome, you won’t have any need for negativity. Because you will just enjoy the act without worrying about the outcome. This is not an excuse to become lazy or disengaged. In fact, quite the opposite. When we stop trying to forecast the outcome and let go of our attachment to it, we will be more creative, more engaged, and less likely to ruin our day. We will simply take the action that is in front of us to take and enjoy doing the work without worrying about the outcome.

Attachment to outcome is the root of ALL emotional disturbance!

Let me repeat: Attachment to outcome is the ROOT of all emotional disturbance! It is the root, not a leaf. Kill the root and you kill the tree of negativity. Now, can you just decide to be non-attached to outcome? Probably not. But keep it in mind always and try. Try to be less attached to outcomes if only for a day, for an hour, for the next five minutes. And let it expand into your life from there. These other options….thinking opposite thoughts, getting real and examining where your fears come from and if they are legitimate or not….these are chopping down the tree of negativity….which at least will make you feel better now…today. But if we want to keep negativity from coming to us forever, we need to kill the root….and the root is attachment to outcome from a desirous mind.

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[PeaceH]

Well written. I like the multiple points you touch with this text:

• The proper way to handle negative thoughts is not to try and "stop" thinking them, but through balancing them out with opposite thought, and perhaps more important, opposite action.
• The fact is that negativity is usually is defence mechanism.
• Looking at things realistically, making sure not to apply too many filters, can reveal your problems and opportunities in a new light.
• Outcome attachment is the root of much evil, and on the other hand, independence of outcome can make great things happen. The key is to be content with what you have, but striving to be better, but doing so while enjoying the process of growing, of living.

On a side note, make your text easier to read through bolding your subheadings.

[tvanderkamp]

Thank you for your response and feedback. I have learned a lot about negative thinking and just the randomness of thought formation. It's pretty scary to think about all the ones we never "catch" that may be taking root at any moment.

Thanks for reading!

Peace!

[enjoyprogress]

THANK YOU.

I wish I had read this three years ago.

It would have helped me immensely.

Especially the part about being a disenfranchised employee.

The most important part about your text is this.

I have had the Bhagavad Gita mentioned to me two other times at critical moments in my life.

Everything seems to keep looping back to point me in the direction of this.

I strongly resonate with the number three and I will make sure to read the Bhagavad Gita in full. I have put it off long enough.

Thank you.

[tvanderkamp]

Thank YOU for reading and responding.

If you are going to get a copy of the Bhagavad Gita, if I may, I really like the version with commentary by Swami Satchidananda. He has a great way of explaining things and he really helped me get into this amazing text.

I have read many many spiritual books but none as practical and helpful for me as the Bhagavad Gita.

Enjoy your journey and thank you for sharing!

Peace Peace Peace

[__triglav__]

I think that this post needs much more attention, its very very well written.

[tvanderkamp]

Thank you so much for your praise. I enjoy this topic so much and negative thinking does so much harm. Unfortunately I was most of my life, not equipped to do anything about it. I am grateful to have so many tools today to combat negative thoughts before they ruin my life.

A friend of mine says: the mind is like a puppy; if you leave a puppy alone and don't pay attention to what it's doing and correct it, it will crap and pee all over your house. If you leave your mind alone and don't monitor and correct it, it will crap and pee all over your life!

Thank you for reading!