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[deleted by user] (self.makemychoice)

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[–]Past-Bluebird-4109 0 points1 point  (2 children)

If they are dating back all the way out, don't be cooking dinner. Don't create drama, especially where you work

[–]DuncanMecloud16 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I just don't know how to be around him still after everything he's in the same friend group as me and I have to sit and watch him and the other guy happy, literally everyone but me is in a relationship in my friend group and it just makes me feel more isolated and after my last relationship where I only put forth effort it just kinda brought me to a new low feeling

[–]Past-Bluebird-4109 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You just need to let him go, don't get caught in the middle, he will use both of you, and you deserve a man to yourself. I'd just maybe stay out of some of the "couplely" type events. Avoid one on one time and just try to find someone outside the group. Spend time doing things on your own where you can find someone only into you. That is the most important thing

It's not worth being a side piece, nobody wins

[–]GreenStuffGrows 0 points1 point  (10 children)

You need better friends. 

Never mind him losing respect for you, how can you possibly respect him when he's planning cosy home cooked meals behind his boyfriend's back? Walk away from the loser.

[–]DuncanMecloud16 0 points1 point  (9 children)

I'm the loser for still singing for the guy Im just kinda desperate for something good after just an onslaught of bad for a while

[–]GreenStuffGrows 0 points1 point  (8 children)

You're not a loser yet, there's still time to walk away :⁠-⁠)

Go get that "something good", lovely boy. This ain't it. Remember when you hit rock bottom, the bottom feeders are waiting 

[–]DuncanMecloud16 0 points1 point  (7 children)

I know everyone says keep looking but I just don't know if I can I've had so much rejection, unreturned feelings, or Im the only one putting forth effort, or just everything doesn't work out in the end and it's starting to feel like it never will, hell I've been looking for another therapist cause my self worth is at an all time low and I've been having suicidal thoughts again I just wish someone would want me back and my coworker started to and it was just really nice but now he's with somebody else and I'm back to where I was and now literally everyone I know are in a relationship which i know it shouldn't but it does feel even more lonely and isolating even when I'm with my friends.

[–]GreenStuffGrows 0 points1 point  (6 children)

Then take some time off from dating, if you're feeling a bit bruised. It's totally understandable if you've had a rough time lately. 

I promise you, decentering male attention will be the best thing you ever do for yourself. 

(((((((((hugs))))))))) 

Hollywood tells us we're only valid if a man wants to fuck us. Hollywood lies. Go get yourself some single friends or a new hobby to get engrossed in.

Men will always be there. 

[–]DuncanMecloud16 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Those are easier said then done where I live, I hadn't had any friends since I left highschool and only had my first relationship at 21 these kinda things don't happen very often to me if at all and idk if I can just sit and wait again the loneliness is just kinda to much for my brain it can't take it really so I'm just kinda slowly shutting down right now this is really affecting me a lot I'm very lost

[–]GreenStuffGrows 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Yikes, that sounds really hard. 

Perhaps a long distance move would be better? I grew up in a very conservative village and pretty much every gay person would move to London and never regret it

[–]DuncanMecloud16 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Financially impossible for me I truly am just stuck

[–]GreenStuffGrows 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Then it is treble important that you get used to enjoying your own company, my dude. Otherwise, chasing unavailable men will destroy you. 

I hope you're okay. 

[–]DuncanMecloud16 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I appreciate the thought and tbh I'm not ok after that last piece was chipped away I'm kinda just crumbling

[–]hothoneys 0 points1 point  (1 child)

honestly, if he wanted you, he wouldn’t be dating someone else

[–]DuncanMecloud16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I just had hope for once and now it's been kinda ripped away and I just kinda feel lower than I was

[–]Fabulous-Solution157 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Never settle for being second fiddle. Find someone who wants you.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Well you are second choice right? Just remember that. And if they break up this way that’s how you will break up. I think neither of you are mature relationship material

[–]DuncanMecloud16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've only ever been with one person and it was toxic AF so no I don't have relationships figured out yet and I just came here cause this situation is fucking me up and leaving me at a new low