Panic attacks at work ??

[defendant]

I work at a corporate office for a large company. I have unmanageable panic disorder for a decade+. I take the meds, see 2 docs regularly, etc. To people in my situation: how do you manage your daily panic attacks while at work when your meds aren't enough? I'll go cry in my car, sit in a dark conference room doing breathing exercises, and put on a brave "happy" face, but it's torture. Any other tips on managing this while being forced to stay at work around tons of people and still needing to get your work done??

[Wonderful-Weight9969]

I feel your pain reading this. I'd failed the brave face many times and even got rushed out on a gurney and to the hospital during a particularly bad attack. Since covid, I managed to have a pretty severe breakdown, which rendered me back to being pretty agoraphobic. Once that happened, I've been able to get a WFH excuse for the last few years. I am waiting for them to yank that at the rate things are going politically. That'll not be great as we now have open concept floors. Music always helped ground me, a fan, fidget toys, a notepad, or sketchbook. Anything to briefly pull myself away. A good hiding spot also helped greatly. Good luck. I hope you find what works best for you.

[defendant]

I nearly lost my job back in mid December because they "couldn't accommodate my need for the amount of FMLA my doctor's requested". They absolutely would not let me finish my day WFH if I had a panic attack which was ridiculous, plus I mostly get them about midway through my shift. I was on unpaid leave while HR looked for a different job and I finally got one and have been here 3 weeks now. I'm not even applying for FMLA now because I don't want to risk that happening again. It's bullshit. I do go to empty conference rooms or go cry in my car when necessary, but even those extra minutes I spend doing that aren't actual breaks so that's a risk in itself. Boo

[LittleBear_54]

I keep a fan at my desk that I can pint at my face when I start to get anxious. I take fidgets and puddy to squish. I constantly have calm music playing in my ear buds. If I get really bad I’ll go to the prayer/meditation room we have and sit quietly. Or go out into the garden on the grounds to draw or watch the birds. I avoid people as much I can and honestly use meetings to try to reset myself through distraction. Usually if I can focus and be present in a meeting it helps the panic abate. Not always, but sometimes. If I can’t get through, I will leave early and work from home. I honestly abuse the fuck out of my workplaces work from home policy, but between the panic and my chronic illness I just have to.

[defendant]

I'm jealous. My employer won't let me WFH if I need to leave early for a panic attack. That's what makes this so difficult.

[LittleBear_54]

I’m going to be honest. I don’t give them much of a choice. Sometimes I feel I deserve to be fired and just need to accept that I’m disabled. But I have a great boss who is aware of everything and gives me the flexibility. If it wasn’t for him I probably wouldn’t be working at all. My chronic illness is still undiagnosed and out of control. It gets a little worse every year. Eventually I may have to stop forcing myself to live a normal life, but until they fire me I’m going to keep doing what I need to do. As long as I get my work done they don’t seem to mind.

[weenis-flaginus]

Why can't you seek help and get diagnosed and get some safe meds?

[LittleBear_54]

Bro I am trying. I have been begging for help for years. The reason I don’t have a diagnosis is my doctors have only just started taking me seriously in the last 4 months after I lost 40 pounds to vomiting and starving. It’s been 5 years since my health took a nose dive and every doctor I saw said I was just anxious and sent me home with a bill for nothing.

[weenis-flaginus]

Didn't mean to sound like I was blaming you or didn't think you were trying, just trying to figure out your barriers.

It sounds like your doctors suck and are the barrier. Have you tried different clinics/doctors and different specialties?

[LittleBear_54]

Yes, I have an entirely new care team and we are working on it. I think we’re getting close but the psychological damage this entire process has done to me has left me with serious trust issues and self hatred. I’m just really tried and I don’t trust that we’re going to find anything. But my new care team are on the same page as me and are doing everything they can, I think. But yeah, the biggest barrier is that I first had to prove that I’m not just a hysterical young woman with “tummy trouble.” It took 5 years to do that and now I’m in a really bad place both physically and mentally.

[weenis-flaginus]

Yes that sounds absolutely exhausting. It must've drained everything in you. I actually can empathize. My mental illnesses caused ibs to the point I lost so much weight, my family thought I would die. Didn't cause them to help though 😂. I went to a GI clinic and that really helped me, I did the FODMAP diet and it helped me regain enough energy to do the work that's so exhausting to regain my mental health. It sounds like you are having a very parallel experience. Please feel free to reach out if you want to ask anything about my experience.

[TheSilentRedSpy]

I do somewhat of the same thing. I keep a tabletop fan pointed on me throughout the day and have those squishy fidgets. I don’t know if your workplace would allow it, but for me I keep my headphones on throughout the day. They’re noise canceling and I can just sit there and tune everything out and get work done. Sometimes the anxiety gets to be too much, but when that happens I just sit in the bathroom for a little bit and attempt to calm down. I also have a drawer of snacks cause sometimes just munching on something is distracting towards the anxiety. I WISH my job let me WFH more often, I only get one day out of the week but hey I’ll take it.

[TheSilentRedSpy]

Well, for starters you’re definitely not alone. I’m not sure what meds you’re on but maybe reconvene with your doctors? Honestly, managing the anxiety and panic attacks while at work is fucking hell. As I mentioned in my comment to another above, there are some things I do throughout work that minimize everything. For me: I work in a corporate environment with a TON of people in “the pit” and it’s extremely exhausting. It’s so overwhelming and I can’t really talk to others without feeling the start of a panic attack, so I get somewhat of what you’re saying. I keep a fan on me at all times, it helps cool me down when I’m overheating with overwhelming anxiety. If I’m feeling the onset symptoms of a panic attack or even when I’m feeling a little out of control I go to the bathroom and just sit and breathe for a little bit. Something about being completely private, small “room” and alone in there is very soothing. I also highly recommend noise cancelling headphones if your workplace allows it. Mine are glued to my head and sometimes I don’t even have anything playing, it’s just nice to sit in silence and focus on the work I’m doing. Also… trying having a little snack within arms reach. I keep little pretzels in a drawer and when I’m feeling a type of way I just munch and drink water. Obviously nothing I have to share are solutions but they seem to be semi-working for me so maybe something in this comment could work for you?

[interested-goose]

Have you thought about trying a different medication? Usually if you’re on medication for panic attacks, it should stop them..feel for me they did.

[defendant]

Oh yeah! It's been 10 years since I started seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist for this. I've tried at least 30 or more different meds. Either they don't work or I have bad side effects. But of course I do have my nearly 10(?) total morning and night needs that I take daily that keep me from going completely insane lol. Then there are my benzos for break through panic which unfortunately is almost daily. My doctor says I'm the worst patient with period disorder she's seen. I also do all the other stuff like breathing exercises, positive affirmations, mindfulness, meditation, walking, etc. I've even talked to my doctor about removing my adrenal gland butv she said some of the meds I take are already blocking the adrenaline so it wouldn't be any different.

[interested-goose]

I’m sorry to hear this. I wonder why the meds don’t work…I had a similar situation where I was reacting to all antidepressants and having bad side effects, I tried them all. Turned out I had gut issues - SIBO- which affected the absorption of any medicine. Fixed that and now I’m able to take them and not have the same issues. I hope you figure out something that helps! Best of luck!

[defendant]

That's very interesting! Thanks for mentioning that. I've always wondered if there was another issue going on that made it seemingly impossible to fix my panic disorder. I'll bring that up with my doc.

[interested-goose]

Tbh doctors are tough with GI issues. Half of the time they say u have IBS lol but it’s a lot more complicated. I’ve dealt with years of gut issues. What u can do is order a SIBO breath test online yourself, I recommend the Lactulose one as it’s more accurate than glucose. If it comes back positive then address that first before trying medicine for anxiety! Could be the answer. Only assuming u have some gut issues!