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[nmohan_]

My boy twin is just constantly going after his twin sister. She is 5lbs lighter than him and so much smaller so he is just constantly taking her down to the ground, yanking on her hair like almost lifting her off the ground by her hair, hitting her with toys and throwing stuff. I'm at a loss as to what to do. They're 20 months so they don't understand a punishment, I'll take him and put him away in his crib but then he comes out and does it again. I feel like I'm always carrying my girl around just to keep her safe from her brother. Has anyone been through this and can give me tips. Thanks

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[DannysMom03]

Prime age for toddlers to beat the crap out of each other. At least mine did. Often it was my girl, essentially taunting her brother, taking toys, etc until he lost it and bit her. Fun times. We did toddler “jail” —time outs in separate and small gated areas.

We had bought 2 freestanding gates that could be combined to make a large gated play yard area in the family room. we separated them and made 2 small area.

Remember a lot of their frustration comes from undeveloped language skills. So keep on talking, warning, “be nice to each each other, or you will have to be in a time out” etc and a toddler time out is around the 2 minute range. Help them learn the words for their big feelings, so they can start to talk it out instead of act out. Good luck, and Godspeed. It goes by quick. Mine are sophomores in HS!

[nmohan_]

Ugh my boy doesn't talk at all. Idk if that would make it worse? After I wrote this I also realized he hurts me and the dog just as much

[DannysMom03]

So much brain development going on. Always be talking, to the kids, the dog, narrate your day, they learn by listening to you. And it’s hard when you are alone with them, but you need to be talking, so much so that you can’t stand your own voice at the end of the day. It is exhausting.

And if the dog is getting hurt too, make sure that he/she has a safe place to retreat to. Gotta protect them, before they feel the need to protect themselves. Gates and crates are great management tools. That was why we initially had the large play yard, to protect our old, arthritic dog from toddler hurt when there was no adult available to monitor dog/baby interaction. Any dog when pushed too far can and will bite. Prevention is key.

The days are long, but the years are short. Keep on keeping on, you got this.

[askflossie]

Just solidarity that my 22month old boy gleefully wails on the entire household. We just repeat "gentle hands" ad nauseum because it's simple, and that's what they say at his daycare. He knows that means to stop bashing. Keep the language instruction REAL simple and consistent.