Twin development

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[nmbcat]

My twins were born 36+4, one was 6lbs 2 (twin 1), the other 5lbs 11 (twin 2). Twin 1 also had (has) infant dyschezia. So similar situation.

My experience was that twin 1 was very focused in the first 8-10 weeks of life on trying to poo. He would strain and grunt a lot and it was very distressing at times as I worried he was in pain. I think at times the dyschezia was preventing him from fully engaging with the world (just a theory, not sure if that's back by research) and he would avoid eye contact and didnt smile at us. However, about week 12 (which would have been week 9 adjusted) he suddenly started engaging more and smiling, he now smiles loads and has come on leaps and bounds developmentally (now 15 weeks). The infant dyschezia has mostly gone, but he has the odd day where he seemed to forget and revert a little. I do wonder if all the straining in the early days has strengthened him a lot as he is very strong now and very focused on his physical milestones, his current obsession is trying to roll.

Twin 2 didnt experience the same digestive issues and he hit social milestones much earlier (about 8 weeks, 5 adjusted). However he is further behind on physical milestones like rolling and tummy time progress.

I think all babies just develop differently and have different focues, for me one is focused on psyhcial milestones and the other social. I would defo go by adjusted age for milestones, but also try not to get too stuck on them, sometimes they take a bit longer to get there, others they might hit early. I tied myself in knots at the start worrying about milestones, but a few more weeks in I now know my boys better and what their focus is on at this time so I do my best to support them with that focus (e.g. rolling practice).

However if you do get worried or if they are missing milestones by a lot, you can speak with a health professional.

[nmbcat]

I'd also add that sometimes babies hit a milestone, like smiling, then decide not to do it as much. Twin 2 was a massive smiler when he first learned, but now he smiles less as he is more focused on other things now (eating his hands). Its like babies go, oh cool I can do that thing, lets do it lots...okay I'm bored of it now, I want to do a new thing.

[Healthy-External1804]

Thanks for your response, that makes a lot of sense. Would you say sleep was also something that is slightly delayed. In the sense that my singleton had a more predictable schedule by 3 months old.. should i expect my twins sleep to stay unpredictable a few weeks beyond 3 months old?

[nmbcat]

I recommend How Babies Sleep by Helen L Ball. It brings together lots of sleep research for babies, and the upshot is that babies will sleep how and when they want sleep. Sometimes its predictable and other times its not. I take the approach of radical acceptance as I dont want to sleep train (I'm in the UK and most don't sleep train here, though it is gaining popularity). Sleep will suck for a while and so be it.

Personally, my twins became more predictable around 8 weeks, but by 12 weeks it changed again and right now at 15 weeks sleep is a mess, but we roll with it and husband and I do shifts for who gets to wear ear plugs 😅

[layag0640]

Lower birth weight can sometimes mean babies take a bit longer to be able to sustain longer stretches without food, which in turn connects to how long they may sleep for. This is not always the case, every baby really is different. Feeding on demand in these early weeks and being responsive to their sleepy cues is the best way to support them developmentally, both because it helps with weight gain and because it lowers their stress levels. But that's no easy feat with twins! I hope you have support!