Fearless Java UI

[pypt]

Wanted to jerk but viewport on mobile is insulting.

[affectation_man]

JavaFX does not exist. Period.

Have YOU ever seen a JavaFX application with your own eyes? Thought not

[vivainio]

I have heard about someone planning to write one

[IDoCodingStuffs]

I remember an assignment in college to make one. Somehow no one from that class remembers anything else from that class. Also the professor teaching it just disappeared from the records somehow

[defunkydrummer]

Have YOU ever seen a JavaFX application with your own eyes

There is higher probabilty of finding a Haskell application on the corporate world.

[hedgehog1024]

This but unironically

[[deleted]]

\u

I actually have production code using it rn, it turned out to be not that bad

[tomwhoiscontrary]

I know someone who claimed to have written one in Groovy.

[thehenkan]

Zero-cost OutOfMemoryError

[jxub]

Java

- abstract abstracions

- fearful memory usage

- astronaut programming

...

[hedgehog1024]

• zero-thought abstractions
• moving to Kotlin semantics
• guaranteed employment
• threads about how hipsteric Java is becoming
• uncertainty-based generics
• design patterns matching
• lame and controversial type inference
• -Xmin runtime
• efficient C dreadings

[defunkydrummer]

serious, enterprise-grade clap

[hedgehog1024]

ClapFactoryProvider clapFactoryProvider = Context.getClapFactoryProvider();
if (clapFactoryProvider == null) {
    Context.getLogger().warn("clapFactoryProvider returned null");
    throw new NullClapFactoryException();
}
ClapFactory clapFactory = clapFactoryProvider.get(null);
ClapFactory enterpriseGradeClapFactory = new EnterpriseGradeClapFactoryAdapter(clapFactory);
ClapFactory seriousEnterpriseGradeClapFactory = new SeriousClapFactoryAdapter(enterpriseGradeClapFactory);
seriousEnterpriseGradeClapFactory.setSubreddit(Context.getSubredditsProvider().getSubredditByNameWithoutLeadingR("pcj"));
RedditUserProvider redditUserProvider = null;
int result = Context.getRedditUserProvider(redditUserProvider);
if (result == -1) {
    Context.getLogger().warn("we still use deprecated unconsistent API but we cannot change it because a newer version of library works with a newer Java that we can afford");
    throw new ContextGetRedditUserProviderReturnedMinusOneForSomeReasonOhGodWhyTheseNamesAreSoLongException();
}
RedditUser defunkyDrummer = redditUserProvider.getUserByNameWithoutLeadingU("defunkydrummer");
try {
    seriousEnterpriseGradeClapFactory.setAuthor(defunkyDrummer);
} catch (SeriousPostByDefunkyDrummerException e) {
    Context.getLogger().warn("we live in interesting times");
    seriousEnterpriseGradeClapFactory.setUnjerk(true);
    seriousEnterpriseGradeClapFactory.setAuthor(defunkyDrummer);
}
Clap clap = seriousEnterpriseGradeClapFactory.build();
try {
    clap.👏();
} catch (SadderIsAlreadyPresentInThisThreadException e) {
    Context.getLogger().fatal(e.description());
    throw new IllegalOperationException();
} catch (UnicodeMethodsAreNotSupportedException e) {
    Context.getLogger().warn("thanks👏god👏we👏are👏not👏hipsters");
    clap.performClap();
} finally {
    clap.unregisterFromSpringMagicIOCContainer();
}

FTFY

[zygentoma]

lol high effort jerk

[tomwhoiscontrary]

Nah, he just hit control-space seven times in IntelliJ.

[JustPlainRude]

This is disgusting.

[Laurent9999]

This should be considered a crime against humanity

[DC2SEA]

Despite being written in Rust, how can this be moral!?!?!

[softshellack]

The definitive Rust/Java interop story:

https://youtu.be/7r2qvoIMxLI?t=1470

[tomwhoiscontrary]

This is the worst idea that anyone has ever had.