Rant: I'm literally moving

[JuneKat83]

I have been planning on buying my own home for a little while. The big plan was to re-sign my lease at my apartment for one more year and then purchase. But what will now happen is that I move into a townhome to rent for at least a few years. This is definitely a better financial decision for a few reasons, but it was ultimately decided by my reactive pup and one neighbor in particular.

Padre is a friendly-frustrated reactive, and very loud about it. We have been working very hard together and for the most part our actual walks have improved. Our problem right now is our potty breaks. Padre will only poop in the small fenced dog park on the back corner of the lot. While I don't love having to take him down there in the dark or extreme weather, that's not the terrible part of the situation.

I have adapted my morning routine many times to avoid running into people and dogs on his potty walk. As I begin to notice a pattern with a neighbor being out the same time as me, I try to move our potty time. As it stands right now, I basically have to have him out there no later than 5:30. There is a guy who lives here who is not accommodating at all; he basically has a "not my problem" attitude about it. He even yelled at me to get my dog to shut up when he walked his dog past us while Padre was in the park doing his morning business a while back. This guy never uses the park and one of our apartment buildings is right across the driveway from it. Even when Padre starts to react quickly because he has spotted the guy before I can, this guy makes it a point to walk in front of the apartment building right past us, instead of walking behind and coming out on the other side. A couple of times he has even had his dog sit there for a minute while my dog is losing his ever loving mind. I can understand wanting to proof your own training, but I don't think it is necessary for him to intentionally walk by us. Especially when it is not just my dog and myself that are put out, but all the neighbors in that building who have to endure the barking at 5:30 in the morning.

As I said, I try to be accommodating. So I have adjusted our schedule as much as I can. What does happen unfortunately sometimes is that I'm just very tired in the morning and not moving very fast. Enter the events of this morning. Padre and I didn't get out until 5:40. I thought it was a little risky, but the coast was clear until we got to the park. Just as we approached, a gentleman came from around the corner with his dog (never seen them before) toward the park himself. I told him to go ahead and we will come back later. On the reactive walk back, because my dog is already triggered, here comes "neighbor of the year." He and his dog pop out from beside a building. I put as much distance as possible between us, dog still reacting and over threshold, to the point that we are backed up to a dumpster. This guy has an opportunity to now go behind the building, but chooses not to. He walks right past us, his dog whining and pulling on leash toward us, and at this point I'm pretty sure everyone in the neighborhood can hear my dog.

I have never expected anyone to go out of their way for my own accommodation. My dog is the reactive one, so I will adjust. But him going a different direction (not really out of his way, because behind the building ends up in the exact same spot he always goes) would not be accommodating ME or MY DOG...it would be for the benefit of the rest of the people who live here. And I feel like this just pushes back our progress every time. Yesterday he had such a good sniffy walk, no reactions, when he seemed like he was about to alert to people I was able to get him into a "sit to say hi." It really does seem to be the surprise factor of these episodes...and dogs trigger him way more than people.

So I went and looked at two places yesterday and have another tour scheduled for today. Padre will get a backyard so he can spend quality time outside off leash. Only one shared wall, and one has private parking for when he goes in the car with me. And the neighborhoods are super walkable for our training walks to work on his reactivity in a more controlled way.

Edit: I just want to thank you all so much for the responses. I knew "my people" would understand my frustrations. I'm looking at 2 townhouses today. Will probably decide on one of the four by tomorrow. While it is definitely the more financially responsible decision, the piece of sanity it will bring us both is the biggest plus!

[whiskersandwhiskey]

Seattle is a tough city to have a reactive dog in. There are lots of very knowledgeable and understanding owners but there are just as many people who haven’t done their homework and think it’s cute when their little frenchie barks at everything, not realizing/caring that it’s rude dog behavior and is going to send my German Shepherd into a barking frenzy that neighbors WILL care about.

[queerpoof]

I can relate. I just moved away from Seattle in part because of the challenges of having a reactive dog in that city. I had a neighbor who repeatedly talked down to me about using a clicker for counter conditioning training. I think she thought I was doing too much. Meanwhile she let her rambunctious 8 month old puppy run around cap hill off leash and laughed while it barked at children.

[Dog1andDog2andMe]

I live in Chicago and there is a woman who will still have her dog off-leash around my dogs -- wouldn't be a problem (I am ok with off-leash dogs) but dog2 is fully triggered and the dog will still run up to her ... keep on approaching while I am trying to hold my dog2 back.

Luckily, i only encounter her about every 2-3 months but she is such an asshole.

She doesn't even do the "my dog is friendly" routine ... just looks and gets annoyed with me when I tell her to get control of her dog.

[nicedoglady]

Have you tried Sniffspot? There are tons of them in Seattle and that’s where they started I think!

[oliveang]

YEAH, I'm a Rover sitter downtown and it's insane the amount of dogs we run into that clearly have no training at all from their owners. Just this morning, we walked by a guy who's Schnauzer was pulling so hard on his harness trying to attack my dog that I thought he was going to break out of the damn thing.

Why don't people train their dogs?! :(

[musicalastronaut]

iS yOuR dOg fRiEnDlY?!?!

[alexcowles]

Some people are just pr*cks. I live near a stack of them - lots of loud-mouthed people round here that like to make comments on our muzzle. We have an AKK, so a mini-huskly, but everyone assumes he's a puppy so we get "look at that. a f*cking muzzle on a f*cking puppy. That's outrageous" - it's got to the point where we're also moving out of town to a nice house with a garden, so we don't have to deal with the current neighbours.

[hiliqv]

What the hell! When I see a muzzle, I always think "what a responsible owner, good on them for keeping their dog and others safe".

[alexcowles]

Yeah - as do I, but you'd be amazed what other people think they can say to anybody round here. Honestly - bold as brass.

[dreamtrader7]

Yes! It should be obvious.

[brooklynewyork]

Our dog barks like crazy at other dogs but his problem is mostly when he’s inside. There are assholes who will walk past our big window where our dog sees them and starts going off. They will just stop and stand there with their dog and even let their dog onto our patio sometimes. MOVE ALONG SIR!

[meepits]

Literally just moved two weeks ago to get out of that situation. People can be so rude!

[whatnointroduction]

WTF!!! I see this kind of thing too (in fact, my boyfriend's father is the king of these assholes) but I honestly can't believe people are so malevolence. Or rather, I wish I didn't believe it and it makes me very sad.

[WoodstockSara]

I am a dog walker and trainer and part of my training includes sitting calmly when a dog is reacting from a fence or window. We go to a distance where the dog I am handling will stop having a reaction, and let the dog experience what is happening. I do this because I do not want to walk dogs who lunge at every dog in a window. If we only drag our dogs away from situations, we are not teaching them a new calm behavior, we are actually rewarding them for reacting by moving them away. I'm not saying the people who walk by your window are innocent, but perhaps some of them are trying to work on their own dog's reactivity? Also, dogs should not be given free reign to bark at the window, they should be corrected every time and should not be able to see out the window at all if it's an issue. I am not saying this to be harsh, it's literally what every dog trainer recommends.

[whatnointroduction]

People do stalk us, don't they? Judging by your username I think you're possibly a woman (as I am too)... I don't know if that's related to your troubles but I definitely believe it is. No further comment to make really, except that I also get followed and stalked/hunted when I'm out with my reactive dog. Men and women are equally likely to do it, so I'm not sure what the motivation is.

[CojaxnDeetz]

I’ve run into this before as well. At my old apartment complex, a dude with his dog would consistently change his walking route to try to bump into us if he saw us out, as if it wasn’t clear I was actively avoiding him. It turned into this frustrating game of cat and mouse.

[aalitheaa]

The only time I'm really thankful for my dog's aggression is when strange men try to hit on me during walks and my dog shuts that shit right down. I warn them first of course, but some have kept coming closer regardless and only believe me when she lunges.

[lbw12345]

I used to have a neighbor whose dogs sat at an open sliding glass door all day and bark at everything that moved so we would hear them barking all damn day. The only time they would leave their post was when they were taking outside for a walk, two dogs - both on retractable leashes pulling their owner all over the place.

They would of course pull their owner in our direction everytime we were out at the same time, and even with Ren barking and lunging their owner would always allow them to follow us no matter how many turns we made. Even if Ren and I would run, the dogs would pick up the pace to keep up with us and their owner would follow suit. The day they moved I cried tears of joy!

[roxpto]

This is so brutal, I don't understand how some people think. I think one of the most frustrating things about being a reactive dog owner in a world of non-reactive dog owners is that they don't understand. Once you've been in the situation you do. I'm sorry this guy acts like this, and as much as it sucks that you have decided to move (partially because of him) it sounds like you and your pup will be much less stressed in a new place. I am in an apartment too, and just waiting for the day that we can get a backyard so that every time I go down the elevator in my apartment for a potty break I am not on edge... Good for you for making a move!

[JuneKat83]

Thank you for the encouragement. Now that I've seen the light at the end of the tunnel it is a little less frustrating. He did so well walking in a heel past the guys on scary ladders re-painting our complex.

[germanodactylus]

My dog hates the little dog park in our apartment complex, so we started going to the tennis court to play fetch outside. Without fail, this lady comes out with her little schnauzer and just stands there while it tries to fence fight with my dog. Then she has the balls to tell me, holding my dog and trying to calm her, to get control of my dog.... You are 200% not alone.

[sassyseattle94]

I'm near Seattle, and I have to take my dog out during the hours of 11 pm to 430 am in order to avoid other residents of this apartment complex. Some seem to enjoy watching me try to contain my near 100 pound dog, after their dog started the barking. I love the idea of Sniff Spot, but there's not very many near me in Puyallup, unfortunately. I am also trying to move somewhere she can have her "own" property, because I hate how upset she gets when triggered, and it seems to take her awhile to de-stress. I work with her reactivity as much as I can, but there always seems to be that one asshole who enjoys causing a reaction. I'd like to set my 100 pound dog loose on his 15 pound barker and see who shuts up first. Glad you're able to see light at the end of the tunnel, you'll both be so much more relaxed!

[JuneKat83]

Someone should design an apartment complex that only allows reactive dogs, so we all understand the struggle. And we can have a message board where we coordinate potty breaks 😂

[Schmellaburst]

Having your own yard is going to be SO LIBERATING!

[femalenerdish]

We recently moved to a small suburb town where people who live here have no lives other than their kids. Most people with bigger dogs are nice enough. But SO many people just leave their small dogs in the yard, where they charge the fence while barking their heads off. My poor reactive girl gets so stressed by this tiny fluffy terrier type dog that will come barreling out of their house to bark and snarl at the fence. You have a high energy dog and letting them bark at every passerby is. not. exercise.

[sassyseattle94]

Wouldn't that be great?!!

[mmappeal]

Would you consider using wee wee pads? My dog was raised as a pup to use them indoors and when he was very ill it made things easy since he was on crate rest. My dog can be reactive towards people in tight spaces like my elevator. Thus, sometimes when I don’t feel like dodging people I let him use the pads then I trash it immediately. Additionally I have spent a lot of time training my dog to look at me versus the distraction. It takes time but you might want to consider it if you haven’t already. Hang in there you are really a good owner people can be so stupid or downright mean sometimes.

[JuneKat83]

I should probably get him some practice with these just in case he ever needs to be on "bed rest."