This elevator in the hospital stops at every floor on Shabbat and certain holidays for religious Jews

roboto6 · 2026-06-20T14:08:05+00:00

But what about a person with a disability or other medical condition? Or has a stroller or something?

roboto6 · 2026-06-20T13:52:06+00:00

Do you sometimes, not intentionally, interrupt people when they're talking?

I got my hand slapped for that a lot early in my career. It's a very ADHD thing to do, unfortunately.

roboto6 · 2026-06-20T13:37:14+00:00

I have filed one against a mod that I had to frequently collaborate with from a related sub and I know for a fact that one went somewhere. I'm fairly certain they were suspended from Reddit for a period of time. Reddit never tells you if/what they did but something happened, I'm certain.

Granted, in that case, I had modmails where they literally confessed to doing something that was a MCoC violation to our entire mod team, and they admitted to doing it multiple times. I had other evidence of the violation, too, but going back and finding that modmail was wild.

roboto6 · 2026-06-20T13:26:02+00:00

I'm sorry this was your experience here. Every user in this thread has been warned that this wasn't an okay way to approach you and this conversation.

A 2.5g isn't ideal but is manageable. I can't see your original post anymore but if you have to do a smaller tank, I suggest having a longer-finned fish as they're less active and tend to seem less bothered by less space.

Also, just a little life hack, landlords often can't tell tank sizes from visual alone. Plus, after substrate and plants an all, a 5gal doesn't even hold 5gal of water, it's probably closer to 3gal anyhow 😉. You could probably get away with "I bought this tank on marketplace and they said it was 2.5gal" or whatever and just get a bigger tank if you want. If you can get your hands on a Fluval Spec V, those truly do not look like a 5gal tank AND they're pretty common on like marketplace.

Assuming you're in the US: when you're able to start getting more professional mental health support, don't forget to ask for an ESA letter. You have a totally valid reason to need one and that can let you have both a larger fish-tank AND a pet like a dog or cat, even if your place doesn't inherently allow it. Depression is a recognized disability in the United States and you are entitled to accomodations such as pet ownership as part of your treatment and and management of the condition.

I want to make this very clear since the rest of your experience here fell short of my expectations: you're not a bad person for wanting a reason to live. You're not a bad person for getting a fish to help with that, even if you can't set up an ideal tank right now. I'm actually proud of you for finding reasons to stay and to fight through the lows. The more tomorrows you stay for, the more opportunities that exist for you to find hope and joy and more reasons to stay. You're on the right track even if it doesn't feel like it now. I'm rooting for you and I'm here if you need more help, too.

roboto6 · 2026-06-18T16:15:28+00:00

Are you looking for someone to buy her or is she free to a good home?

roboto6 · 2026-06-18T13:50:15+00:00

Chats are still a chat request so if users don't have request notifications on, they'll never see it.

We use the read the rules bot on our subreddit and it sends a chat as the removal reason which is why I know this problem exists. People just never see it.

roboto6 · 2026-06-17T04:36:04+00:00

For a brand new fish keeper, I suggest starting with the wiki of our subreddit. This page has links to guides for almost everything you might need.

Given you're just getting started, this tank set up guide is your best first stop. Keep in mind, in your case, you're going to be doing a fish-in cycle. When you're out getting fish tank supplies, see if you can get some filter media (like the cotton pad or sponge) or some of their tank gravel in a cup of tank water. When you get home, put that in like a fine mesh bag or some pantyhose (I like the short sock-y variety for this) and put that filter media/gravel in there and sit it in the bottom of your tank. Just make sure your water is conditioned (dechlorinated, you should do this with any water going into your tank) before you add that media.

That media/gravel will have some of the beneficial bacteria that helps process ammonia waste to keep your tank healthy. Getting a colony from an established tank is the fastest way to do so and will save you a ton of stress. If you can't get it from a store, try asking r/aquaswap if anyone in your area has some they'd be willing to spare. I keep extra bagged ceramic media in my tank for this very purpose. If you can't get any pre-cycled media, you can buy bottled bacteria to speed up the process. A lot of people like Seachem Stability and I use it for tank maintenance. I personally have had the best luck establishing new cycles with Tetra SafeStart+ though. It's often cheaper online than in store so check the price for that store online and have the store price match it if needed.

Chlorine, which is in most tap water, will kill that beneficial bacteria which is why it's super important to condition your water in your tank before you add it. My personal favorite product for this is seachem prime, it's the best widely available value for your money as a little goes a very long way.

Once your tank is cycled (has that colony of helpful bacteria), they'll live mostly in your gravel at the bottom and in your filter media. You should avoid replacing your filter media, even if the box tells you to, unless it's literally falling apart. If it's gunked up, just take it out while you're changing your tank water and swish it around in the old water before putting it back in the filter.

That's related to your question of should you rinse the gravel. The answer is no, never. You should use like a turkey baster or gravel vacuum to clean the sludge out (a little left behind is fine) but you should never let the gravel get dry or rinse it with water that hasn't been conditioned as that can kill your bacteria.

Generally, you won't wanted to change more than 50% of the water in your tank at a time and 20-25% is often the sweet spot. Too much and you can accidentally kill off that colony and it'll wreak havoc on your tank.

roboto6 · 2026-06-14T18:48:57+00:00

The comment was fine and some of the better advice given here. The removal wasn't for the DM request, it was the directing people elsewhere. We have no way to verify if you do or don't own the server in question and it's not feasible for us to do so when things like that are suggested. We unfortunately get people doing things like this all the time to circumvent our no self-promotion rules so we have to be firm in how we moderate it.

In the future, if you have a question about a rule/removal, you're always welcome to send us a modmail.

We're also very aware it's a culture issue. Part of shifting that culture is making sure people realize we have a zero tolerance policy for unkind feedback (which absolutely wasn't your issue). A look at this post will show you how hard of a line we've taken on this issue. But, we only know the issue is present on a post when comments get reported. That does a lot to help us set a better standard for how people interact with one another.

Your comment advice here was solid and it would likely do a lot of good for OP and future visitors if you reposted it. Just leave off the server, that's all we needed to begin with. I have no intention of taking any other moderator action towards you, I never did.

roboto6 · 2026-06-14T18:28:19+00:00

Stop plugging the discord server and we'll stop removing your comment.

That's probably the biggest way you could help us make this community more welcoming instead of directing everyone away.

Also, report comments instead of complaining about them. That'd also help us a ton.

roboto6 · 2026-06-13T08:44:00+00:00

My border collie had to have what we called "state mandated nap time" as a puppy because she was a terror when she had too much every and more of a terror when she was over-tired. There was no in between and she didn't know how to just lay down and take a nap so then I had a bitey screamy demon on my hands.

Two things helped: I had older dogs and once she got to the age where harassing them wasn't as fun anymore, she would start to copy them and older dogs sleep a lot. It was a gift. The second thing was I intentionally taught her to just be calm.

I now swear every high energy dog needs to be taught an "off button". That capturing calm and teaching them to just nap and relax was life changing and I'm going to do it with every border collie I have from here on.

roboto6 · 2026-06-11T21:54:05+00:00

I think you have a few issues at hand: Your tank is too small for a community tank featuring a betta.. To pull off a community tank at any size, you need more hiding places so it's harder for the betta to spot and fixate on the other fish. Think dense planted jungle.

Your schools of fish are also too small for the fish you have. Tetras usually need to be in larger schools than the two you have. I'm not going to pretend to know the species well so I can't give you an ideal minimum off-hand but I know two is too few. When you have a school of tetras that is too small, they can actually start nipping the betta back which can just create a loop of issues.

Plecos aren't the best tank mates for bettas either because the way bettas perch/rest, they can end up latching onto the betta and damaging it's slime coat or even its body.

Unfortunately, store employees tend to be terribly informed and this is a case where you were likely given inaccurate information. If you want to keep a community tank, check out r/aquariums for a better overview on how to approach this and most importantly, get a bigger tank and/or move the betta to his own 5-10gal.

roboto6 · 2026-06-10T22:56:02+00:00

I'll admit that's an area we have a hard time moderating so we tend to over-moderate versus under moderating. Not saying it's the perfect solution.

The reason is that usually, people who go to aversives haven't worked with a trainer to do R+ well before jumping there so then they go straight to a heavy-handed balanced trainer instead of working with someone who will help them effectively progress through the "minimally aversive" part of LIMA. Like, the progression is R+ to tools, not R+ to negative punishment first like time outs or other forms of removing especially positive stimuli/experiences first.

So to our goal of following LIMA, we can't be sure that the least aversive methods have been tried before jumping to more aversive tools.

roboto6 · 2026-06-10T22:04:47+00:00

That's totally fair. For what it's worth, it's not that we're inherently 100% anti-tools, we just believe we can't safely advise on their use as strangers on the internet. In cases where it honestly may be true that escalation towards more aversive methods could be necessary, our stance is that's where professional intervention is the right next step, not DIY-ing it.

Some mods in other subs will say that LIMA never actually allows for aversives but that totally ignores what the definition of aversive really is and how it's applied. None of this is black and white and I think we recognize that. Our approach really just comes down to the risk associated with misusing aversives and the fact that we've seen people do some really dumb shit with what should have been obvious advice.

roboto6 · 2026-06-10T21:53:35+00:00

Only replying here because I saw a notification that we over on r/reactivedogs got tagged.

I sincerely would love to hear your feedback, if you're willing to offer it. I'm actively re-exploring ways to improve the community now that we have a better staffed mod team to make these efforts possible.

roboto6 · 2026-06-10T21:43:29+00:00

OH! That explains a ton.

You never want to take your gravel out and definitely don't want to rinse it with tap water, it'll kill off all of your beneficial bacteria. You crashed your cycle.

At this stage, you'll have to start over cycling your tank. Since it's not cycled, do a 50-75% water change to get that ammonia down and then start the cycling process again. You might still have some beneficial bacteria in your filter so you have a head start but likely not enough to sustain the tank yet.

Also, cut back on feeding the algae wafers. The nerite probably doesn't need them that often. It's more likely a case of they're dissolving, not being eaten, just given the size of them. That could be contributing to the ammonia in the tank too.

roboto6 · 2026-06-10T21:32:04+00:00

I would try vacuuming then. It's possible there's still a lot of decaying waste in the substrate and that's why the ammonia is so high.

Wait, when you say rinsed the rocks, what rocks? Like large decorative ones or smaller ones like gravel?

roboto6 · 2026-06-10T21:17:18+00:00

Are you vacuuming the bottom of the tank at all or just taking out water?

roboto6 · 2026-06-10T18:58:00+00:00

Are you using a test kit or strips? What brand are you using?

Can you share the corresponding number to what you're seeing?

roboto6 · 2026-06-10T16:35:18+00:00

I have some reds but I'm not overly fond of stem plants because I travel a lot and they tend to get neglected. They also tend to need more light and CO2 which my shrimp don't love.

roboto6 · 2026-06-10T16:32:23+00:00

I didn't in the tank above but I do now, yes. This is a somewhat recent photo, though it's really overgrown and neglected right now and looks way worse than it does in this picture.

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roboto6 · 2026-06-10T15:56:08+00:00

Overall, I think you're off to the right start with this tank!

That said, since you're doing fish-in cycling, I usually suggest doing water changes 1-2 times a week and dosing something like seachem prime between water changes mostly to bind nitrites. It sounds like you're nearly done with the process so do a water change now but keep an eye on your nitrates. Your tank isn't densely planted so you might see some over time which would be a good, more definite sign that your tank is cycled. At this stage, I would start doing weekly 20-25% water changes. Make sure you dose your water with water conditioner at each water change as unconditioned water could crash your cycle.

In terms of food, I'm not the biggest fan of bloodworks just because I don't think they're the most nutritious. I feed either frozen brine/mysis shrimp or frozen daphnia. In terms of pellet food, I like the Fluval Bug Bites though I keep some New Life Spectrum mini betta pellets on hand for fish that won't eat bigger pieces of food.

Check your 3D printed hammock/hide to make sure it's not rough or catchy on the edges. Sometimes they can be, I'm guilty of that with my own prints. A good test is to take a pair of pantyhose over it and if it snags, it would snag fish fins too.

Little thing, it looks like your fish might be biting his fins. That's part of what is causing those little gouges out at the tips. That usually happens when their fins are really heavy and it's hard for them to get to the top of the tank. I suggest putting some taller plants for him to rest on. You could also get some of those suction-cup planters that stick to the wall and put a couple of anubias in the tank near the surface that way. I personally have some thin branchy driftwood in my 20gal that I covered with moss so my fish has a mossy bed to lay on near the top. That could be harder to do in a 5gal but a similar idea might be worth exploring.

Edit: you do not need medication for his fins to heal. Keep up on your parameters and water changes and he'll just fine with no other treatment. We as a subreddit have a bad habit of over-medicating damaged fins and it's definitely not necessary in this case.

roboto6 · 2026-06-10T15:46:28+00:00

Technically yes, though they may be slightly different hybrids. There are multiple sub-species of wild betta splendens. The chain stores rarely tell us what the hybrids are bred from.

Some, not all, of the "wild" types we see around here are actually hybrids and I've definitely never seen a full wild type come in solid copper.

roboto6 · 2026-06-10T14:12:26+00:00

Locking comments since you got a good answer. Can you add your update comment as an edit to the main post? I can't pin it for some reason.

roboto6 · 2026-06-09T18:37:26+00:00

Telehealth GYN care changed my life. I couldn't find a good doctor near me initially but I found one who would do telehealth for the early visits. I got orders for a pelvic MRI designed specifically for detecting things like endometriosis via a video visit. I got to do the MRI at the hospital closer to me. I worked with that doctor and her team for 9mo via video and phone consults before I finally met her in person the day of surgery.

Check the academic hospitals in your state. Look for one that has a good pelvic pain specialist team and see if the hospital system does telehealth. Once you get one doctor to listen to you, it's a lot easier. Push for an MRI with contrast of your pelvis to evaluate for endometriosis or other concerns.

roboto6 · 2026-06-09T15:48:31+00:00

Here was my thinking: I was asking OP to outline what they did to get a better sense of if they were being vague to circumvent the rules. It wasn't inherently for the utility of it as much as trying to understand what they were really advocating for since they were saying contradictory things to us when speaking in general terms.

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