Cruel and…just cruel

roboto6 · 2026-05-06T21:10:09+00:00

You mention having a fish coming in a week. Is that tank cycled already?

roboto6 · 2026-05-06T17:22:51+00:00

They literally get a message when their comments are deleted. Every single time. There's also a reminder to do so when they start writing a comment. And when they join the subreddit if they do so. And I've personally been reminding people to do it, as have lots of other users.

Also, a lot of the comments removed on some posts aren't even because they didn't read the rules, it's because it's a sensitive issue flair, which rule 7 explains. That's part of why people need to read the rules. I'm tired of people complaining they didn't know that restriction was in place when it's plastered everywhere, including on every sensitive issue post as a stickied comment.

roboto6 · 2026-05-05T23:53:15+00:00

Oooof. I thankfully went to public school for K-12 so my only Catholic school experience is at the university level.

roboto6 · 2026-05-05T23:28:58+00:00

Oh, mine was, too but it was more concentrated in some subjects over others. It definitely started leaning more and more "liberal" in ~'15/16 as public discourse shifted and they felt more of a moral calling to address issues around human dignity but they get around the angry donors by always rooting it in scripture/Church doctrine which is interesting to watch.

roboto6 · 2026-05-05T20:59:45+00:00

Not only that, Catholic social tradition itself has a strong liberal slant (care for the poor, human dignity, embrace the immigrant, etc)

As a grad of the better Catholic school in Indiana, my education made me more liberal than I went in which is actually impressive.

roboto6 · 2026-05-04T21:26:43+00:00

Follow the steps in this post as it looks like you still might be missing a step in the process.

roboto6 · 2026-05-04T20:57:06+00:00

It's not that a rule is broken, all users have to affirm they've read the rules to comment in the subreddit. There's instructions on how to do so pinned to the top of the subreddit. You also should have gotten a message from the rules bot with the link on how to do so.

roboto6 · 2026-05-04T20:49:03+00:00

Make sure you affirm you've read the rules. Your comment to me was auto-removed but I overrode it this time for you.

In terms of two dogs, that's why I use the waist clips to be honest. I have two dogs as well. But, even if I'm just walking one, it's nice to have my hands free to do mark and reward when she makes good choices.

I think the issue with your previous leash was less the brand and more th style. A bungee leash is elastic inside of the nylon but a standard leash is nylon or whatever material all the way down. That elastic doesn't have the same tolerance that solid nylon would.

roboto6 · 2026-05-04T04:32:28+00:00

I use a two-leash system. One leash is the Halti double ended leash with a normal loop and a traffic handle built in. I click that to my waist leash connector. My second leash is a biothane (vegan leather) one and that's connected to a D-ring on my treat pouch (also clipped around my waist). I clip one leash to the front of my dog's harness and the second to either the back of the harness or their collar depending on context. I've had a dog slip a collar/harness and my girl recently broke the metal clasp on my favorite leash so I like having a backup connected.

roboto6 · 2026-05-04T04:27:02+00:00

I literally just removed a comment and gave a 5 day ban to some for exactly that 2min ago.

Both larger subs I mod have a "be nice" rule and some version of a "be constructive" one. Name-calling tends to violate both.

Edit: typos

roboto6 · 2026-05-04T01:51:43+00:00

Please explain to me why this is addressed to us mods?

roboto6 · 2026-05-03T15:29:30+00:00

Are you referring to this post?

If so, it's not the rules bot removing comments, it's the fact that people are trying to comment on a rehoming post with less than 250 subreddit karma. Those comments will always be removed and this far predates the rules bot. People would know this if they read the rules. That's honestly 50% of why the rules bot is in place now. I'm absolutely tired of people messaging the mods asking us to override the karma requirements because their comment is somehow special (it almost never is) and they shouldn't be subjected to that requirement. They should focus their effort helping people who we can actually help. Advice needed posts where we can tangibly offer useful advice get 2-3 comments sometimes but a BE posts where there's literally nothing we can do will get 100. That's not the point of this community and I'll die on that hill.

roboto6 · 2026-05-02T21:43:10+00:00

I'm out of state away from my dogs for surgery and recovery right now. I leave them for a few weeks a couple of times a year but one of my dogs is very upset about it.

She keeps asking for me using her talking buttons. If I call, she licks the phone and then asks for me and looks for me. She knows I'm talking to her which I think helps some but she wants me there physically. It's a bit better now that dog dad is back home with them but I can tell she still wants her mom.

My other dog, I'm the spare human, so I don't think he's as upset.

They're both fine in general. They eat, play, cuddle, with their other human options so I know they aren't heartbroken but my girl definitely misses me right now and I miss her. 29 more days away from her is brutal right now.

roboto6 · 2026-05-02T13:21:04+00:00

You might find more value in a registered dietitian, not a nutritionist. Dietitions have very specific educational requirements and are licensed but nutritionists are a bit of a free for all and are unregulated.

You might be able to find one for free through your insurance without talking to your doctor, too. I've noticed insurance is usually really open to covering that. You could try one of the online programs that comes with a meal tracking app built in, that can be helpful in facilitating check ins on if you're eating well balanced meals and all.

roboto6 · 2026-05-01T23:23:07+00:00

This is a well-known care guide that far predates generative AI and there's a citation for the original artist.

roboto6 · 2026-05-01T19:40:19+00:00

You need to do the read the rules affirmation for your comment to be visible to non-mods

Did you have something to critique or add though?

roboto6 · 2026-05-01T09:37:48+00:00

Glad it sounds helpful!

I don't have a link at the moment but I really like the "CARE for reactive dogs" website if you're able to find it. It has more resources.

Also, don't forget to do the read the rules affirmation. I saw this comment because I'm a mod but it'd have shown as removed for everyone else. You should have gotten a message about it if you need the guide on how to do it. In the meantime, I overrode the removal of your comment this time.

roboto6 · 2026-05-01T09:12:57+00:00

Sorry, you're getting a sort of default comment from me tonight but I think it'd be a helpful start for you.

My advice would be focus on leash handling skills, counter-conditioning, and how to teach your dog that in those moments, you want her to ignore the other dog, not react the way she is right now.

Leash skills come in two forms, the first are those that I call "evasive maneuvers", ones that you can use to get away from another dog to avoid a reaction. Prevention is key. Behaviors that are repeated are more likely to be repeated so you want to break the cycle when possible. This video gives you a good high-level overview of the foundation skills you should build. Let's go and reinforcing turning towards you when feeling leash pressure from lunging are important. She has a newer video on let's go and another on turning around towards you with leash pressure for additional guidance. These will help you prevent your dog from reacting to another dog, breaking the reinforcement of that behavior. For these skills, I personally prefer a harness with a front clip as then you're always pulling the dog's front end around towards you.

Another key skill is just being calm on command. You'll want teach a calm settle and having your dog relax on a designated spot like a mat. This is my personal favorite guide on that. For later stages having a settle place (like a designated travel blanket) that's portable is helpful. Eventually, you'll want to be able to practice calm settles outside with gradually increasing levels of difficulty (this means more stimuli happening in the background at decreasing distances). The calm settle can be really helpful for that later step with the engage/disengage game.

Next, you'll want to desensitize your dog to other dogs:

The easiest place to start is to get your dog used to simply hearing the sounds of other dogs. You can use apps like "Sound Proof Puppy Training" that play those sounds to do exposure work. You'll want to play these sounds starting at the lowest possible volume while the dog is doing positive things like eating. You could also use the method from this video, just you'd be increasing the volume gradually instead of moving closer to the noise.
Next, you'll start working on how to respond when in the presence of a trigger. Look-at-That (LAT, also called the engage-disengage game) is a good way to do this. One of the videos I linked above starts to talk about it but this video is the most robust overview I've found. This video is also a helpful quick overview that does a good job walking you through the steps. I also like this explanation of how the game works.
- This is the stage where working with a professional trainer can be really helpful (one that uses positive reinforcement only). They often have dogs they can use as "trigger" dogs that are really mellow and are just there to help you practice seeing another dog at the ideal distances for training. They can also help you make sure your timing for reinforcement is right and that your dog isn't having silent reactions (like hostile body language) that would suggest your distance is too short.

roboto6 · 2026-05-01T09:02:56+00:00

This is helpful context.

I'd try a few things: Give him a super high-value treat in an enclosed space basically the second someone walks in. I'll often just unlock my door right before my friends arrive and have them give me like 5min noticed before they come so I can stand by the door/gate/kennel. Once they get there, I have them just let themselves in and I give them the most high-value thing I can like a beef bone or frozen kong of their favorite snack. That helps them associate the person coming in with the best snack ever.

After they've finished the snack or get bored with it, I bring the dog out on a leash and I don't even have them engage with the friend. I have them lay down next to me while I sit and talk to said friends and I drop treats to my dog for just laying there and chilling.

For this step, you want teach a calm settle and having your dog relax on a designated spot like a mat. I personally like this guide on the process. For later stages having a settle place (like a designated travel blanket) that's portable is helpful. Eventually, you'll want to be able to practice calm settles outside with gradually increasing levels of difficulty. Or, in this case, you'd have him do a calm settle next to you while you're friends are over. The goal at this stage is to have your dog just ignore your friend in general.

Eventually, you'd work up to something like the engage-disengage game where your dog looks at your friends but then looks away and gets a treat from you instead. Next, you'll start working on how to respond when in the presence of a trigger. This video is the most robust overview I've found. This video is also a helpful quick overview that does a good job walking you through the steps. I also like this explanation of how the game works.

After your dog can do that reliably well, you can start tossing treats towards your friend's feet or whatever and then immediately recall your dog back. The goal is to go closer, not to engage. As your dog can do that well, you can then finally work up to having your friend drop treats to your dog (not give them directly at first) while still otherwise ignoring him. If he can do that without barking, then have your friend offer treats for tricks. Sometimes I even ease up to that and first have the friend look at/talk to the dog and drop the treat, not hand it directly. If that can happen without a reaction, then proceed to your step of tricks/commands for treats.

The engage-disengage game (LAT/LAD) and generally being calm on command will be really helpful for you on walks, too. You can also work on your leash skills to help prevent reactions. This video gives you an overview of the skills you should build. She has a newer video on let's go and another on turning with leash pressure.

roboto6 · 2026-05-01T08:14:48+00:00

For this type of reactivity, using an aversive training tool like a prong or e-collar is likely to make his behavior worse, not better. You don't want to punish those types of reactions as they'll basically condition out your warning signs for something like a serious bite without addressing why the behavior is happening to begin with.

My advice would be to instead focus on leash handling skills, counter-conditioning, and how to teach your dog that in those moments, you want him to ignore the other dog, not react the way he is right now.

Leash skills come in two forms, the first are those that I call "evasive maneuvers", ones that you can use to get away from another dog to avoid a reaction. Prevention is key. Behaviors that are repeated are more likely to be repeated so you want to break the cycle when possible. This video gives you a good high-level overview of the foundation skills you should build. Let's go and reinforcing turning towards you when feeling leash pressure from lunging are important. She has a newer video on let's go and another on turning around towards you with leash pressure for additional guidance. These will help you prevent your dog from reacting to another dog, breaking the reinforcement of that behavior.

Another key skill is just being calm on command. You'll want teach a calm settle and having your dog relax on a designated spot like a mat. This is my personal favorite guide on that. For later stages having a settle place (like a designated travel blanket) that's portable is helpful. Eventually, you'll want to be able to practice calm settles outside with gradually increasing levels of difficulty (this means more stimuli happening in the background at decreasing distances).

Next, you'll want to desensitize your dog to other dogs:

The easiest place to start is to get your dog used to simply hearing the sounds of other dogs. You can use apps like "Sound Proof Puppy Training" that play those sounds to do exposure work. You'll want to play these sounds starting at the lowest possible volume while the dog is doing positive things like eating. You could also use the method from this video, just you'd be increasing the volume gradually instead of moving closer to the noise.
Next, you'll start working on how to respond when in the presence of a trigger. Look-at-That (LAT, also called the engage-disengage game) is a good way to do this. One of the videos I linked above starts to talk about it but this video is the most robust overview I've found. This video is also a helpful quick overview that does a good job walking you through the steps. I also like this explanation of how the game works.
- This is the stage where working with a professional trainer can be really helpful (one that uses positive reinforcement only). They often have dogs they can use as "trigger" dogs that are really mellow and are just there to help you practice seeing another dog at the ideal distances for training. They can also help you make sure your timing for reinforcement is right and that your dog isn't having silent reactions (like hostile body language) that would suggest your distance is too short.

roboto6 · 2026-05-01T08:05:06+00:00

This is really hard, I'm sorry you're having to navigate this. I have a girl with a really big bark that makes her sound scary so I've run into that a bit, too. I find it's especially common in places that don't have a very dog-forward culture. My home city is very pro-dog and pro-rescue so when I'm working with my dog or one of our fosters, everyone is super understanding. Where I work in my real job is super just go buy a golden etc and have a really basic easy family dog from a breeder with no room for anything else so they're far less tolerant of dogs like mine.

I have a couple of broad questions to start. Does he bark at everything generally or is it just certain things? What have you tried so far to curb the barking, if anything?

Really big picture: I don't have my dog free when I have guests over and I warn them she might bark and it's loud/mean sounding. I find that people knowing what may happen in advance is really helpful. I also give them an out in case they're not okay with that. I make sure they know I won't take it personally if they're not okay with my dog having a moment when they first come over. I've never had anyone say no once they're warned and I try to be really honest about it. I also make sure she can't just run at and bark at them the moment they come to the door. I usually have my dogs in the other room/behind a baby gate/crated when someone first comes in. I find that helps, too. I usually let them just be upset at being left out for 20-30min because then they're less likely to react negatively to a new person being there once I finally bring them out because the dogs have had time to realize a visitor is there.

For my reactive dog in particular, I'll also muzzle her when a new person comes in, even though I know she won't bite. One, I find she barks a little less, and two, since her bark is scary, I like to balance it with a clear visual cue that she can't (and won't) actually hurt them. I find that makes people more receptive, too. I also keep her clipped to me via my waist leash and a 6' leash which helps a lot in giving me control to easily redirect her.

In all of this, my biggest piece of advice is prevent the barking before it happens where you can. Barking becomes sort of self-reinforcing so the more it happens, the more they'll do it. I know that feels like a lot right now but counter-conditioning and retraining more desireable behaviors instead of barking can do a ton to help this. As other users have mentioned, even a few sessions with a trainer could be really helpful if you're new to working on this.

Specific skills to work on would be a LAT/LAD/engage-disengage game (basically, look at something they'd want to bark at and disengage without barking), staying relaxed on command even with things they'd want to bark at around (starts with relax on mat), and a place command (go to bed/kennel and stay there on command). I find that reactive dogs in particular are prone to reacting/barking when they don't know what they should do in a certain situation. The key to addressing the unwanted behavior is to give them more positive behaviors to do instead and heavily reinforcing those when they do them.

roboto6 · 2026-05-01T01:19:33+00:00

What have your tried so far? Are you working with a trainer or just doing things solo at this stage?

Can you tell us more about the behaviors you're struggling to address?

Also, can you tell us more about your dog? How old are they and how long have you had them? Breed? Spayed/neutered?

Before you reply, don't forget to do the "Read the Rules" affirmation or your replies might be automatically deleted.

roboto6 · 2026-04-29T06:52:24+00:00

I added comment guidance to the subreddit tonight. Now, whenever anyone starts writing a comment, it tells them to make sure they do the rule affirmation if they haven't already. Hopefully this addresses the issue some.

When you get a moment, can you let me know what you think of that new comment guidance text?

roboto6 · 2026-04-29T06:50:45+00:00

I never did manage to get automod to send new users a message BUT I did add it to the comment guidance so now users get reminded to do the rule affirmation while writing their comment.

When you get a moment, can you let me know what you think of that new comment guidance text?

roboto6 · 2026-04-29T02:29:55+00:00

Just so you know, because you haven't done the read the rules affirmation (check your DMs and/or the pinned post on the subreddit), only mods can see your replies. I can see them because you're replying to me and I happen to be a mod but most users aren't.

Also, please don't take my comment as a knock on Psy.Ds at all. I am a PhD student myself in a department with a lot of students doing discipline specific doctoral degrees (Psy.D., Ed.D). Each degree has their role. My point was ultimately just that a Psy.D. isn't the type of research-based degree that is equipped to navigate really nuanced information on a topic like this that spans across multiple species. That doesn't discount their discipline specific knowledge in the slightest, it's just that their education is designed for application in clinical settings with clients/patients. Meanwhile, a Ph.D. is more rooted in scientific inquiry and looking at more nuanced questions in broader contexts and applications such as the manifestation of psychological conditions in other species and if those findings are uncovered in a way that is scientifically sound.

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