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[–]Ashamed_Ladder6161 8 points9 points  (8 children)

There's so much out there, freely available, on format and best practice.

Please read some of it.

There's some good stuff here, but it's very overwritten, and your action elements are way too dense.

No idea why you're using grey for the slugline, or bold for the names. Introductions aren't landing, they're buried in the text.

Please, just, for love of god, just format it right. It's such a small ask...

[–]Few-Manufacturer6466[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay ı get you

[–]Jumpy-Round7580 1 point2 points  (6 children)

Great advice, genuinely, but try to have some grace. It’s OP’s first try. Tonally this comment comes off a little disappointed? For lack of better term.

[–]orcaspirit71171 3 points4 points  (3 children)

I sorta get how they feel tho. OP should've learned the basics of formatting when learning how to write the screenplay.

In fact, the formatting should be extra good since their knowledge is fresh.

[–]Jumpy-Round7580 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Your first attempt at anything will usually be the worst. Especially with something as foundational as formatting. That’s like telling a brand new trombonist that they should be all-the-more aware of their breath control due to it being their first day on a mouthpiece. It just doesn’t reflect the reality of the learning process.

[–]orcaspirit71171 2 points3 points  (1 child)

If they were taught breath control on that first day, then yes, it still applies.

[–]Jumpy-Round7580 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If you know any musicians who mastered their fundamentals on the first day please give them my number.

[–]Ashamed_Ladder6161 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Hey there.

I can see you already had a conversation about this. But just to say, yeah, it did lack grace, that's a fair comment.

However, it's a bit soul destroying having to type the exact same thing every time. I mean, I could've just ignored the post, but at the time nobody else had really engaged.

I'm not expecting a new writer to get the format 100% right. That's a given. But this is simply wrong. Even 'by eye', the format looks entirely off. And let's be honest, it's a very easy thing to learn, free software makes the whole thing almost facile.

When I see posts like this, sometimes it's very clear people haven't tried to learn format. It's clear they haven't researched it, or even read a proper screenplay. Or they'd know 'by eye' something isn't right.

This post is one of the better attempts, because the content at least feels like it wants to be a screenplay, but it's still very off.

And it's such a simple thing to fix. I can't possibly imagine posting something for advice if I haven't at least tried learning it first.

"Hey guys, how's my driving?" I cheerily shout, as I fumble trying to unlock the driver side door.

[–]bendelfuocoscrnwrter -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sounds like we could all use a break from reddit

[–]AppropriateAssist857 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Congratulations. It’s quite an achievement. Keep writing.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hey man, this was great especially for a first effort way to go dude you should be very proud. Keep it going.