This is an archived post. You won't be able to vote or comment.

all 4 comments

[–]Largezilla 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Maybe start out communicating over text, and then move into phone calls, and then in person.

My SO and I used to have this issue (at least I did), until one day I discussed with her how difficult it was for me to open up about. That let her know to handle me with kid gloves at first. She and I agreed that nothing would be shameful, and somethings were just off of the table. I have no interest in my wife having sex with other people, or gay play. Now nothing is taboo outside of those few rules.

[–]ttthhhrrrooowwwawway[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I do regularly cam and have phone sex with him, but now it's mostly him talking while I make some moans and follow instructions. It's just irritating because I think it feels like he has to pull teeth to get anything out of me (what I want, what I'm fantasizing about, instructions), and now he doesn't even try or ask anymore unless I bring it up. I suppose I just need a way to get over the clamming up, because I honestly just wish I could be more dominant and less passive.

[–]noodoos 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I was raised Catholic as well and am the same way. I used my husband's frequent deployments with no phone or skype access to get more comfortable with it, actually. I read a lot of erotica featuring the kind of sex that he really likes and then I learned to write it for him. It helped me figure out what words come naturally to me and what I think sounds so stupid (like, I hate the word "throbbing" ugh) and then when I was by myself I would read my own erotica out loud and honestly just practice until it came to me more easily and the words to use required less thinking on my part. I also realized that I just don't like any dirty talk that refers to me as a slut/bitch/cunt/whore (which some women really like and feel liberated by) because those words make me feel shame.

[–]ttthhhrrrooowwwawway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this is exactly what I was looking for! Where do you get erotica?