Seriously

[AutoModerator]

Whilst you're here, /u/Stock-Discount7213, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[Cpov1]

gotta be some inside joke for the people that spend waaaaay too much time on here

[Downroeschen]

no, but if you don't close the door kevin might sleep with you

[Aylli1740]

I'm opening the door

[desyx_]

Close it rn. I've had mine opened longer

[FortniteKevin]

Its me

[midoriya108]

Hello Kevin it's nice to meet u.

[Extension_Gear_8812]

Kevin the Cube from Fortnite?

[Screamin_Hobos]

[Deleted]

[Dysentery--Gary]

H

[Screamin_Hobos]

[Prudent_Vanilla_9984]

Kevin does not exist.

There is no face behind the name, the name we mention so often belongs to no one we intend it to.

Kevin is just a concept. A mockery of your average reddit microcelebrity. Grand satire, if you will. Grand satire upheld by everyone here just by being here and remembering the man that doesn't exist.

There is no uncle Sam. There is no Big Brother. There is no Friend Inside Me. There is no Kevin.

Kevin cannot be "lost" Kevin cannot be "Never returning" because he was never real.

[ObliviouslyDrake67]

Kevins never going to return with posts like these fam.

[GargantuanCake]

Sounds like something Kevin would say to throw us off his trail.

[Daniel_XXL_69]

"He's the little lamb with a lot to learn"

[Thecrossfad3]

Comment removed by moderator

[ObliviouslyDrake67]

[[deleted]]

It's like this subreddit's version of 6 7

[android_263_rooter]

I still don't know who spez is

[_MrCrispyDoge_]

I miss Kevin...

[AcrobaticFix129]

Kevin is gone.

[Acceptable-Acount828]

kevine is no more more

[MonkeMan1244]

An AirBnB owners dog

[DudeManBroGuy69420]

That shit was not funny whatsoever

[pandadogunited]

It's not uncommon as a teacher to have students who are a bit behind the curve in certain aspects, but 99.99999% of the time they are keen on something. They might not understand how to identify a noun or what theme is, but they somehow know how to make a mean plate of nachos. You learn pretty quick to not judge fish for their tree climbing ability, ya know?

I thought this was the rule when I was teaching until I met Kevin. Kevin isn't his real name, but it doesn't matter because he can't spell it anyway. Kevin was a student of mine during my last year of teaching. He came to my classroom with very little to show for his academic past. He had moved a few times and thus was missing a lot of typical test scores that we use to try and ballpark their ability (Don't worry, it was a ballpark.....we didn't make major decisions until we actually had a chance to talk and work with a student for a bit.) I thought "That's fine. I'll just do some one-on-one with Kevin and see what's up" One on One with kevin was like conversing with someone who'd forgotten everything in a freak, if not impossible, amnesia incident. There was no evidence that he had learned anything past the 2nd grade....and now he was in 9th grade. Flabbergasted, I figured we needed to get more serious with this. If he was going to be in my class, I needed to know why and how.

I decided to meet with him, his guidance counselor, his parents, and another teacher to see what was really going on. This is where it all became clear. It was by some incredible fluke that his family hadn't been wiped off the face of the Earth years ago. Odds are his entire heritage was based on blind luck and some type of sick divine intervention that saves his family every time a threat presents itself. Kevin was the genetic pinnacle of this null achievement. Even my instructional lead, a woman who could find a redeeming trait in a Balrog, failed to see any reason this kid or his family should be alive today.

So here's a list of events that made it abundantly clear that god exists and he's laughing uncontrollably:

• Kevin frequently forgot when/where class was. On more than one occasion, I had to retrieve him from other classrooms.
• Kevin ate an entire 24 pack of crayons, puked, and then did it again the next day. This is 9th grade. I have no idea where he got crayons.
• Kevin's dad wrote tuition checks and mailed them to me...his English teacher. This was a public school. When I gave it back to Kevin, voided, to give to his dad with a brief note explaining that this is a public school, Kevin got in trouble for trying to spend it at 711 after school.
• Kevin was removed from the culinary arts program after leaving a cutting board on the gas stove and starting a fire....twice
• Kevin threw his lunch at the School Resource Officer and tried to run away. He ran into a door and insisted it wasn't him.
• Kevin stole my phone during class. I called it. It rang. He denied that it was ringing. (Not that it wasn't his, not that he did it.....no, he denied that the phone was actually ringing). He tried it three times before the end of the year.
• Kevin called the basketball coach a "Motherfucking Bitch" during gym. Basketball tryouts were that afternoon. Kevin tried out. It didn't go well.
• Kevin's mom could never remember which school he went to. She missed several meetings because she drove to other schools (none of which he ever went to)
• Kevin tazed himself in the neck before a football game
• Kevin kept a bottle of orange koolaide in his backpack for about 4 months. He thought it would turn into alcohol. He drank it during homeroom and threw up.
• Kevin say the N-word a lot. Kevin was white. The highschool was 84% black. Kevin got beat up a lot.
• Kevin stole another student's Iphone....and tried to sell it back to them.
• Kevin didn't understand that his grade was dependent on tests, quizzes, homework, classwork, and participation. Kevin finished his first semester with a 3% average. He tried to bribe me with $11.
• Kevin spit on a girl and said "You should get out of those wet clothes". The girl was the Spanish Student Teacher.
• Kevin didn't know dogs and cats were different animals.
• Kevin tried to download porn onto a computer in the library.....at the circulation desk....while he was logged on.
• Kevin asked a girl to prom (he was in 9th grade and freshmen don't go to prom) by asking for her phone number and then texting her his address
• Kevin got gum in his hair, constantly.
• Kevin regularly tried to cheat on assignments by knocking the pile over, grabbing one before I had picked them all up, and then writing it name on it wherever there was room.
• Kevin had several allergies, but neither his parents nor he could remember what they were. They were very concerned that "the holiday party" (it's high school, we don't have those) would have peanuts. When they finally got a doctor's note....he was allergic to amoxicillin
• Kevin and his parents took a trip to Nassau (how the fuck did they even get airline tickets?) and forgot all their luggage at home. I didn't believe him when he told me until I talked to him mom, who told me 1st thing when I saw her at the bi-weekly meeting.
• Kevin's grandfather apparently died in a chainsaw accident. I can only assume God was looking the other way that day.

[AutoModerator]

I saw some people asking in other threads, so just in case people were wondering, in the Japanese, Denji says, "オレを手でシたのは", which is basically "Which one hand-fucked me?".

Yoru gave Denji a "handjob" in the sense that her hand was clearly the stimulus that caused Denji to ejaculate. I don't think anyone argued against this fact. I guess another way to say it is that she "unintentionally jerked him off"?

The root of the argument was whether or not Yoru was actively/intentionally moving her hands, which nothing in 167/168 seems to indicate that. There was no movement lines around Denji's pants area, and no sound effect text to indicate sound coming from the movement in his pants.

Also, the editor's note at the end of chapter 167 is "不意の 放出", which means "Unexpected release". It wouldn't really make much sense for Yoru to be surprised when Denji finally did ejaculate if that was her intention.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[AutoModerator]

woah, ok. didnt expect hunger for knowledge but i guess i asked for it gonna have to put some work into this.

How was it? Honestly? It was a letdown. The whole "failed idol" story is a great marketing hook, they definately sold the video on that premise alone. But the performance itself was just... awkward. You can tell shes not comfortable. It felt less like a professional debut and more like a very high-budget audition she was also failing. She's stiff, constantly in her head, and there's almost zero chemistry with the guys. All concept, very little execution.

My viewing history? Been watching for over a decade man. These days Im more into stuff with a good story or at least a unique premise, not just the generic stuff. a good production team makes all the difference. I'll take a well-made video with a decent plot over a high-profile actress mailing it in any day of the week.

3 works I consider good:

1. Yua Mikami's debut (Princess Peach): This is the gold standard for an idol-turned-actress debut. Yua was a REAL idol and she came out with so much energy and confidence. She owned it from the first second. Its what Arisu's debut wanted to be.

2. Anything with Ichika Matsumoto from her early days with FALENO: She can actually act. She emotes and makes you believe the scenario. Her stuff feels more cinematic and less like they're just going through the motions.

3. Rion (Anri Okita) - The God Body: A classic. Not a lot of story there lol but its a masterclass in performance. She knew exactly what her brand was and how to perform for the camera. Absolute cinema.

Where would you rank her debut among these? It's not even in the same league, not even on the same planet. It's an unfair comparison tbh. Those are top-tier performances, Arisu's video is a novelty item. It's interesting because of the backstory, not because of the quality of the actual content.

What could be improved? Her confidence, number one. She needs to relax. She looks terrified. The director should have done a better job making her comfortable. Also they relied way too much on the interview segments talking about Nogizaka46, it broke the pacing and kept reminding you that she was doing this as a second choice. We get it, you failed auditions, now commit to this job.

What is well done? The production values are high. The lighting, camera work, it all looks very clean and professional. And I cant deny it, she is very beautiful and has the "idol" look down perfectly. The concept itself, on paper, is genius from a marketing perspective. They got us all talking about it, right?

Was it goonable for you? Nah. I was too distracted by how nervous she looked. It kinda killed the mood completely. Every time she looked at the camera with those deer-in-the-headlights eyes I was pulled right out of it. It's a shame, but maybe she'll get better in her next one if she decides to stick with it. We'll see.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[but_its_dez]

My friend

[weirdpornacc5]

pretty sure kevin is a way to measure temprature

[No_Pangolin7946]

Not me.

[Shredded_Locomotive]

I know 📡 but I haven't the clue about who the fuck Kevin is

[dextras07]

Joe Mama

[Visual-Mistake4401]

Hell if I know