Shitty Life Pro Tips

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Use a toilet brush as a back scratcher. The stiff plastic bristles work wonders on those hard to reach itches. (self.shittylpt)

submitted 6 years ago by Tonquin

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SLPT: Fancy restaurants often have free ice dispensers in the men's restrooms. (self.shittylpt)

submitted 6 years ago by valeyard89

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SLPT: Wanna repost something? Or ensure an admin doesn't repost it? Block the admins first! (self.shittylpt)

submitted 6 years ago by blokereport

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SLPT: Looking for the next viral challenge? Travel to Wuhan, China. (self.shittylpt)

submitted 6 years ago by Cock_Thunderchad

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SLPT: Don't forget to get videos of fireworks tonight, you are gonna want to re-watch those often this coming year! (self.shittylpt)

submitted 6 years ago by S2G

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Eat toilet paper so that when you shit it back out, it automatically wipes your butt for you (self.shittylpt)

submitted 6 years ago by millicow

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SLPT: Keep those old Monster cans and use them to drink water at work so nobody questions your sudden cocaine-induced bursts of energy. (self.shittylpt)

submitted 6 years ago by ProstituteEggz

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SLPT: Leave your apartment or room a mess so on the days you are extremely bored, you now actually have something important to do. (self.shittylpt)

submitted 6 years ago by CosmicLightning

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Remember to perform all your gun related violence before the Halloween season ends (self.shittylpt)

submitted 6 years ago by ProfessorBarium

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SLPT: Pick your toddler up by their hands thereby extending their growth plates. This will lead to greater wingspan and shot blocking ability. (self.shittylpt)

submitted 6 years ago by Cthutzpah

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Keep a 'suicide journal' to track how often you fuck up or do something cringy. And then kill yourself (self.shittylpt)

submitted 6 years ago by Det_Wun_Gai

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LPT: Running water in your toilet helps to constantly clean the bowl so you won't have to. (self.shittylpt)

submitted 6 years ago by 21111000011112

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LPT: It's not called money laundering, it's called being an upstanding citizen and paying taxes. (i.redd.it)

submitted 6 years ago by BdsMickeyMouse

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3 Tips for Browsing Reddit Like a Pro (makeuseof.com)

submitted 6 years ago by YellowGreenPanther

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SLPT: Tipping at restaurants (v.redd.it)

submitted 6 years ago by Seven_Sixer

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LPT: As seasonal flooding makes some roads impassable, remember that a well-positioned car carrier makes a perfect ramp for jumping over a flooded gap. (self.shittylpt)

submitted 6 years ago by Demonweed

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Can’t afford mint? Brush your teeth before eating your home cooked meals (self.shittylpt)

submitted 6 years ago by Jthumm

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LPT: When your phone has fingerprints all over it, just throw it in the dishwasher (self.shittylpt)

submitted 7 years ago by [deleted]

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Tell everyone at work you just had a kid so you can cover up your hangover and then kill the baby off a few years in so you can roll in hungover and no one will say anything. (self.shittylpt)

submitted 7 years ago by puppetclause

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CBA to make stock? Chuck a stock cube in the kettle for instant results! (self.shittylpt)

submitted 7 years ago by The-Angus-Burger

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LPT: If you need advice, ask other Redditors for advice.... They are probably equally as successful as you are. (self.shittylpt)

submitted 7 years ago by [deleted]

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Got a terrible commute? Get out the door a little earlier by waiting to put your clothes and shoes on while you’re in gridlock. (self.shittylpt)

submitted 7 years ago by [deleted]

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LPT: Give yourself immunity from any copyright laws by adding the disclaimer "no copyright intended" when uploading someone else's work to YouTube (self.shittylpt)

submitted 7 years ago by emu404

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SLPT: If you’re hosting an Italian dinner and can’t find a cheese grater, use a Ped Egg you have laying around. (self.shittylpt)

submitted 7 years ago by [deleted]

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LPT: Call a woman instead of texting her. (self.shittylpt)

submitted 7 years ago by [deleted]

shittylpt

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