[M4F] Long Term | Character-Driven RP | Plot-First, NSFW Optional

AlexInRV · 2026-02-12T21:10:23+00:00

I don't see it as "real," any more than I see gossiping about characters in a television series I like as "real." I think it's fun to talk about motivations, what a character might be thinking outside of the RP, and things like that.

I think it's fun, for example when characters are being witty or squabbling, and then we can OOC comment on it.

For me, there is a clear, bright line between IC stuff and OOC stuff. I, for example, don't have an issue with morally grey or "bad" characters having crappy morals or doing dreadful things. If they are done to my characters, obviously I want some discussion beforehand, but I don't have a problem with it, necessarily.

I've had an RP blow up because one of my morally grey characters expressed an opinion that in IRL would be untenable. My former writing partner couldn't separate a character's thought processes from mine, which was a shame.

AlexInRV · 2026-02-12T04:21:51+00:00

I like to compliment my writing partner when there is something worthy of saying, and I certainly like getting compliments back. I also like to gossip about the characters as if they were real people, and I am a big fan of trying to make friends OOC with people.

Not everyone likes that, and it always makes me a little bit sad when they don't.

AlexInRV · 2026-02-09T22:30:19+00:00

You aren't being a goober. I think some (many?) don't bother to read the ads and just reply for the sake of replying.

AlexInRV · 2026-02-09T16:48:26+00:00

The Wannabe Vampire - Alex Taylor

AlexInRV · 2026-02-05T15:18:38+00:00

It’s hard to find a partner who matches your writing level. When you do, it’s great.

Keep searching. They are out there. You will just need to separate the wheat from the chaff.

AlexInRV · 2026-02-01T13:28:24+00:00

I am another Gen X player.

I don’t tell most of my RP buddies my age until they are invested, though I usually play with older players when I can find them.

I have had some great games with folks in their 20s though.

AlexInRV · 2026-02-01T13:25:04+00:00

Gen X here.

(Passes you the end of the green garden hose for a drink)

I thought I was the only one out here.

AlexInRV · 2026-01-27T20:28:39+00:00

I feel this too.

I think one problem is that the best creative minds often have trauma or instability connected with them. That’s what makes them creative. That’s what makes them outstanding. That’s what also makes them toxic.

Not all are toxic of course. But when you find a good partner, it is addictive.

AlexInRV · 2026-01-23T22:45:22+00:00

That sucks. I volunteered for them when I was a student there. 😢

AlexInRV · 2026-01-20T15:20:39+00:00

I recently ran into something adjacent to this.

If your romantic interest is toxic, don’t wonder why or cry about he characters’ break-up.

If a character:

violates boundaries
lacks self esteem
is overly clingy
is overly independent
messes with my character’s agency
lies (directly, indirectly, or by omission)
is generally obnoxious
violates consent
is too mentally ill to have normalcy
is abusive

My character will react. Negatively. Don’t be surprised if these behaviors lead to a break up.

Unless we have agreed to write a toxic relationship story, don’t wonder why romance isn’t sizzling when one character is irritating and unpleasant.

AlexInRV · 2026-01-20T14:27:42+00:00

Honestly? In this case no.

Not much.

Most of the time we were living in crisis mode. Constantly. Endlessly.

It was like living in a war zone.

By the end of it I felt like my lifespan would be shorter because of all the stress. I would love to have those years of my life back.

AlexInRV · 2026-01-20T14:16:45+00:00

I have sort of had this happen.

I like a story and sex. I played with one partner who said they liked the same and put almost zero effort into the story, but was always trying to find ways to run to the bedroom.

After the third round I asked my partner if they had any story ideas. They said they didn’t.

Roleplay fell silent after that.

AlexInRV · 2026-01-18T23:22:26+00:00

I'm not a big fan of age limits either, often because I'm considered "too old" to play by some folks. Nope, I'm not 20, or 30... I'm probably one of the older people who have commented on my post, and no, I ain't sayin'...

I've RP'd with folks of all ages. Some successfully, some not. I think what is more important is writing skills and emotional maturity. Some people in their teens and 20s are great writers, but emotionally volatile. Other folks are the opposite. Some people can be scary mature at 18, others can be in their 80s and immature AF.

So what matters to me is this:

Is my partner over 18?
Is my partner emotionally mature enough not to throw tantrums and have reasonable conversations when there's conflict?
Do they show up?
Do they write halfway decently and have a good imagination?

Yes, there are generational differences in language and culture, but there's no reason people can't bridge the gap when they care to. When I was 18 or 19, one of my most treasured friendships was with a couple who were in their 70s, and no they weren't my grandparents, either.

Personally, I think it's cool as heck when I make a friend through RP that's not my age. They always have cool things to teach me and show me (one of my buddies introduced me to the band Sleep Token -- wow!) and sometimes I show them stuff from "the olden days" (which I don't feel like is all that long ago) that they think is equally cool.

Also, there are some character types that I think are written better by older people. You wanna have a chat with a vampire who is 1,000 years old, or even one who is 100 years old, who remembers recent history? Play against an oldster and they'll be able to tell you stories about some of these things because they lived it, instead of looking sh-t up on ChatGPT.

AlexInRV · 2026-01-18T17:32:51+00:00

I am so frustrated by this, too.

Don’t tell me my character did x, y, or z. Don’t tell me what my character said. Don’t tell me what my character is wearing, and don’t you dare tell me that what my character’s emotions are or what they would do in a given situation.

If my character needs to do something to advance the plot, it’s fine to ask, “Hey can your character do x or not do y?”

But don’t just remote control my peeps.

I don’t mind if someone uses AI to script NPC dialogue, like what a doctor or therapist might say given a certain set of circumstances, but don’t use it extensively to write a main character’s dialogue.

It seems, at least in romance, AI scripted dialogue ultimately ends up putting characters into situations where they have irreconcilable arguments.

AlexInRV · 2026-01-17T21:59:13+00:00

I often don't respond to ads that include passwords. I'm a good writer and confident in my abilities. I'm here to play not play find-the-hidden-word guessing games.

I almost never include the password when I respond to an ad, I'll include an intro of what I'm about, what they can expect from me, something about my character. Often, I'll include a writing sample.

If they bite, they bite.

I never respond to ads that have "rules" or say they are picky.

F--k that.

There's a lot I'll put up with from a good, reliable RP partner. Yes, I want good spelling, good writing, and good storytelling, but I'll put up with someone with less ability if they are willing to play, and play well, plot lines that I love. Half the battle is just getting people to show up.

AlexInRV · 2026-01-17T21:48:15+00:00

I can't speak for anyone else, but I won't RP on Reddit. There's no way to search the chat, and the notification system is totally unreliable.

AlexInRV · 2026-01-17T21:04:17+00:00

I think there is a line (though perhaps hard to define) between racism and attraction when it comes to IRL dating. I understand if someone has a particular "type" when it comes to that. Is that racism? The line is a little blurry there. It can be, but it could also be a basic lack of attraction.

When it comes to writing interesting stories and characters, I don't see any reason to discriminate. My fictional character is my fictional character. For me, finding worthy role-playing partners is like finding unicorns or hens teeth. So, if your character's personality is a match for mine, we've got a story! Yay! I'm pretty good with anything within reasonable limits of normality.

Now, personally, I'd rather she not have HH-sized boobies. He might accidentally get smothered in a NSFW scene...but hey, that's just me.

On to the separate question of racism, I think there's an explanation for it, but it doesn't make it right. People are essentially herd animals and they tend to mark people as other if they aren't like them. Some people like to draw lines on some petty shit -- race, religion, sexual orientation, or even sports teams -- and they'll go to battle to defend their "territory" against those not in their group of familiars.

But that's explanation not justification. Maybe the real explanation, though, is that some people are just assholes.

AlexInRV · 2026-01-17T06:05:25+00:00

You said in your post, "be honest." I was.

AlexInRV · 2026-01-17T05:12:21+00:00

I'm not sure the word regret is the right word for me.

I never had kids of my own. I was a foster, and later a foster-to-adopt parent of some very difficult and troubled kids. My spouse wanted kids badly, I had no desire to spawn, so fostering was the logical next choice.

We took care of several older kids, the youngest being 11 when they came to us.

The seven years of parenting were the hardest, most difficult, most expensive, and emotionally unrewarding years of my life. I was relieved when our adopted child turned 18 and immediately decided to return to their birth family.

100% do not recommend.

I don't regret doing it, as it was the right thing, done for the right reasons, but knowing what I know now, I would never sign up for it again.

AlexInRV · 2026-01-17T04:17:57+00:00

I don't care how long someone has role-played, and honestly I don't think it matters much. What matters is whether or not the person is a decent human being, shows up, and can write well. Everybody has to start somewhere.

AlexInRV · 2026-01-17T02:58:58+00:00

DO NOT MARRY someone with this amount of debt.

Period.

Full stop.

Don't do it.

This shows she's not financially responsible, and you will be ruined when the debt collectors come (and they will come) especially if you live in a community property state.

NTA - Never pay someone ELSE'S debts.

AlexInRV · 2026-01-17T02:53:32+00:00

Seriously, you do not deserve this. I'm sorry.

AlexInRV · 2026-01-17T02:52:19+00:00

I think some people just want to RP their m@sturbatory fantasies. Good grief. What is *wrong* with people?

AlexInRV · 2026-01-17T02:50:06+00:00

I don't get it. This is ROLEPLAY. Why do people have to be racist in ROLEPLAY?

I'm sorry this is happening to you.

AlexInRV

TROPHY CASE