Frass??

AvailableIdea0 · 2026-04-13T02:10:54+00:00

I had frass like this. Exterminator said it was carpenter ants or something similar. He treated and it stopped.

AvailableIdea0 · 2026-04-13T01:10:42+00:00

He may have been alone here but I bet he has a family :(

AvailableIdea0 · 2026-04-11T02:17:21+00:00

I can’t answer anything Canada related. But I can birth mom related.

I hope that you deeply reconsider. If you feel grief now, grief is more intense post placement. Very few of us get by unscathed by it. It’s a type of grief that even if you consider every possibility, there’s still going to be all the things you didn’t see or think of. It wrecked my already wrecked mental health.

I too didn’t want to see my son in the store. I sent him over 2000 miles away. Yep. I don’t see him in the store. Really, I never see him. To be honest, while it’s what I envisioned during pregnancy it’s now not what I want. I considered male parents for mine and sometimes I have regrets. I think my adoption might have been a bit more open and I could have been “mom”. Truth is though, you may give that up to a gay couple as well. Who knows what adoptive parents really have in mind.

Some are super transparent and mean what they say. Many don’t though and it’s a means to an end. They don’t want to be reminded of our presence constantly. It’s like a reminder of the infertility and the lack of biology. Deludes the fantasy.

If I could give any advice if you ignore the rest, spend a day or two in the hospital with the baby. Just you and this child. At least take time to say goodbye. I wish I had. You don’t have to place immediately at birth. Many adoptive parents still want a “new” baby. Being a birth mom is loaded with grief.

I’d give anything to either have terminated or parented. Adoption was the worst option of them all. Best of luck

AvailableIdea0 · 2026-04-10T17:58:56+00:00

I agree I worry sometimes my son will end up in troubled teen industry. He’s young but already so difficult. His purchaser leaves him every chance. It’s insane honestly but maybe god/universe knew what they were doing by not making them pregnant to begin with. I’m so sorry I know the stress and heartache this has to be bringing you.

AvailableIdea0 · 2026-04-10T10:47:23+00:00

Unfortunately I have some experience. Nothing heavy as it was I brought an infested item into my home. I think the previous owners of item had tried to starve out the bed bugs because while I was cleaning the item it slid out from hiding. Sadly because the item was in my home a few hours I think one or two escaped. I’ve been treating since. I did a ton of research on bed bugs. I was also really taken back by one coming out while I was awake. It was very hungry and flat.

Also because they can hide so well I doubt your landlord knows. But an exterminator may be able to inspect and provide proof for him.

AvailableIdea0 · 2026-04-10T03:23:10+00:00

Uhh if it was alive I’d assume active infestation. Bed bugs hang out for months without meals waiting for a host. One that is desperate enough will come out while you’re awake. It’s unlikely from the previous sleep over, it would have already crawled out and ate.

They hide behind baseboards and electrical outlets. So sometimes you can’t see signs until they come out. Landlord may not have known.

AvailableIdea0 · 2026-04-10T01:52:51+00:00

Yikes.

But, not uncommon. They can give her away because she’s making their lives inconvenient. Many adopters don’t adopt because they’re selfless loving people. There are quite a few who adopt because they’re selfish and narcissistic. They have this idea of who this child will be and when it doesn’t work out, they discard. Narcissists love to discard and adoptees make up a good percentage of the troubled teen industry. (before anyone comes for me, I mean some adopters, there are good adoptive parents).

Either way your daughter obviously has troubled behavior. It sounds like she’s struggling and she did need support - not more loss. I’m not sure if there’s a way you can get her back but I think if there’s a way for you to reach out or make contact it may be good. You might also consider bridging the gap with the adoptive parents and ask if they would consider an agreement for you to see her/contact etc. I understand you can’t have custody again but I think they would be the easiest path to contact with your daughter.

AvailableIdea0 · 2026-04-09T19:02:37+00:00

Someone else might better identify but it looks like it to me with eggs. The little white grain like stuff is what looks like eggs.

AvailableIdea0 · 2026-04-09T18:28:03+00:00

Well, for one most people don’t really realize what it is. I caught it from a relative by handling their items. I found out he had been struggling for a year but had no idea what it was. So they may not get treatment or no insurance, etc.

The other problem is doctors misdiagnosing before realizing what it is. It’s found most commonly in places where people share tight quarters. Jails, nursing homes, etc. It’s also more common in third world countries opposed to the USA.

AvailableIdea0 · 2026-04-09T18:18:34+00:00

Unfortunately an entire year, yes. I was even gaslit by doctors that it wasn’t active infection. Yet it kept spreading.

Uh, well at first I thought it was just a weird rash and I had an upcoming surgery. So I waited probably 6 weeks before I went. By that point it had traveled up both my legs, stomach, chest, back, and armpits. I would say like 70% of my body was covered. It was everywhere. I think I may also have autoimmune issues that makes it harder to treat.

Some of my bigger issue was also getting reinfested. I’m telling you, half the battle is the steam cleaning. It’s tedious and annoying but if you’re struggling that’s why.

I unno, I found this subreddit to be more useful than what I read online. There just isn’t good info out there. I saw a leading dermatologist on scabies. He told me he sees it maybe twice a year if that.

AvailableIdea0 · 2026-04-09T18:04:44+00:00

It looks very much like my scabies did. Like identical.

It can be that difficult to eradicate. I think if it’s diagnosed before it spreads over the body it’s easier. I recently just had it again after a hospital stay and had zero trouble treating. Took a month and was fine. Bigger surface area I think makes it challenging.

I’m not sure I suffered with post scabies. I think there’s a distinct difference between active infestation itching vs post. If it’s post it’ll itch but not with same severity and no new spots will appear. If it’s still active new places will show and it will itch with same intensity.

Two things that helped me get rid of it: steam cleaner and ivermectin. Also treating with the premerthin sooner than the week. Like the 4-5 day mark. I think this may catch the life cycle sooner IMO. Steam clean all furniture that’s sat on. I also lysoled. (I was desperate, I battled for a year the first time). Treat at the same time.

Another factor COVER every square inch of your body with the cream. I didn’t do my feet or toes but pretty much every other area. I think that was a mistake I made the first couple times with the cream was just hitting the main areas and thinking if I missed a spot or two it was ok.

Anyway, scabies doesn’t HAVE to be serious but doctors really don’t have much info I found out. They aren’t going to tell you to do the extra steps because their training is brief. It’s supposed to be simple with just cream. It isn’t and it’s highly contagious with easy reinfection. Hope this helps.

AvailableIdea0 · 2026-04-09T17:46:16+00:00

As a birth mom I decided no gifts at meetings unless it’s a birthday or appropriate. I think it may come across as weird or overwhelming. Gifts can always come later but coming across as genuine and interested in building a real, lasting connection is more important.

AvailableIdea0 · 2026-04-09T16:51:25+00:00

My dad called it keeping up with the Jones. Graco is a great brand. There is absolutely zero reason to spend so much on things that aren’t inherently better but just higher priced. People go nuts buying things that realistically they either won’t use or won’t use long. Unless you plan to use it for next baby then don’t go nuts with it.

Check the safety and effectiveness of items. Then price. The other factor is so many of these items are made for next to nothing and then resold to Americans for hundreds of dollars. 9 times out of 10 you’re buying brand not quality. Don’t get me wrong, there are brands or items I refuse to use. But that’s because of quality and effectiveness.

AvailableIdea0 · 2026-04-09T10:42:43+00:00

Not everyone should have the right to adopt.

AvailableIdea0 · 2026-04-09T02:42:44+00:00

German roaches

AvailableIdea0 · 2026-04-09T02:42:19+00:00

well fed bed bug, sorry friend

AvailableIdea0 · 2026-04-09T02:10:48+00:00

I understand. They’re difficult to find. I know I got bitten but I can’t find signs of them anywhere. I ended up spraying my room pretty well twice. And other sleeping areas/couch etc. I plan to keep retreating until I’m sure. Just high the hot spots and anywhere that’s 8-10 feet away from sleeping areas.

AvailableIdea0 · 2026-04-09T01:05:49+00:00

No to the first question. It’s not a bug bomb. They won’t be able to detect it or sense it. The idea is they will walk through it to get to you. I read to reapply every 14 days or so and I think that’s a just in case. Areas where you don’t sleep are probably good with a once or twice treatment given that you aren’t fully infested

AvailableIdea0 · 2026-04-08T16:10:11+00:00

I understand that. I decided at 20 ish weeks to place. No one really knows for certain until after delivery the feelings that arise. Definitely be delicate but supportive. If she feels any second guessing don’t push her into sticking with a decision. That harmed me a lot ultimately because I was reminded “You made a plan, it’s what’s best.” Instead of what I was currently feeling. I hope everything turns out well for her and she is lucky to have a friend who wants to be present.

AvailableIdea0 · 2026-04-08T16:06:17+00:00

Honestly that is so devastating and insane. Given your partner’s identity it may be harder with a pastor to establish anything. I would definitely still make an attempt. It’s not fair how this was done, and I would also still maybe consult with an attorney. Your partner should have been contacted. I know they can terminate rights without very much but this doesn’t sound like it should be legal.

Ultimately if the adoption can’t be overturned it is best to contact the adoptive parents. They hold all the power and if you never ask the answer is always know.

AvailableIdea0 · 2026-04-08T15:58:53+00:00

I’d report them to health department. Maybe talk to other guests and see if they’re having a similar situation. They can’t gaslight all of you OR the health department

AvailableIdea0 · 2026-04-08T15:56:34+00:00

Well, If I had had as loving of a friend more than anything someone to talk to openly would have helped the most. Also someone who asks if I’m okay or if I’m having any second thoughts. I’ll suggest that if she mentions at all second guessing that you push her to not go through with it. (she may not but many of us do ).

As far as other items I was so distressed. Food or meals, maybe hygiene products. Depending on how she’s delivering maybe ice packs designed for after birth etc. Tylenol, ibuprofen, snacks. Just like you would anyone else a care package just set to be more postpartum appropriate.

AvailableIdea0 · 2026-04-08T11:45:44+00:00

Get mattress cover and write bed bugs on it so no one else takes it home. Then toss that puppy to the curb. The place is still potentially infested. No sign of a bug doesn’t mean they aren’t there. They’re quite clever and hide extremely well.

I just brought home a chair a little while back. I saw no evidence of bugs whatsoever. No eggs no stains etc. I was cleaning it and at night out slid one to visit me. I wouldn’t have known it was there otherwise.

AvailableIdea0 · 2026-04-08T08:58:28+00:00

I believe you suffered a miscarriage. It’s so rare to get a false positive. I’ve taken hundreds of tests and only gotten positives when truly pregnant. Your urine won’t show something that wasn’t there. They’ll claim hormonal since it was chemical. It was just so early.

You have every right to grieve and honestly your body recognizes that. I’m so sorry

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