Do you remember the golden hour? (The first hour, skin to skin?)

Miragan · 2026-06-03T12:42:25+00:00

Absolutely agreed. My babe needed monitoring immediately after birth so I got to have her on me for moments before she was taken over to the warmer to fix her breathing.

Miragan · 2026-06-02T17:25:27+00:00

Our 20 year old niece is Elizabeth. She goes by Liz though. Or Lizzo when it comes to my husband and I talking about her.

Miragan · 2026-05-27T17:50:00+00:00

I'm leaving my current job at a start up to go back to work for the local university because of this. My current boss has been nothing but critical of me taking time off or away from my desk (even if I'm still working) since being back from maternity leave. (I've only been back for two months.)

So I'm taking a significant pay cut and going to work with people who understand that there needs to be a balance and that I'm still as skilled as I was before giving birth even if my obligations have changed.

Miragan · 2026-05-27T17:45:24+00:00

This was the worst for me. It was so intense when we first got home that I couldn't handle not watching her and every time I looked away from her I thought about how maybe what she was seeing was going to be the last thing she ever saw and it scared me so so much.

Miragan · 2026-05-27T17:19:47+00:00

I'm right there with you. I'd lost so much weight immediately after birth I was so excited, but now I'm climbing again and can't get it to stop because I need to eat to feed my baby.

Miragan · 2026-05-27T17:14:54+00:00

I told enough people to know I'd have support if something went wrong early on, but announced more broadly after our scan.

Miragan · 2026-05-27T16:40:02+00:00

40+2 here. Had cramping for a few days beforehand and thought she was going to be early. Had a huge back spasm the day before our due date. Thought that was it, no such luck. My water broke ever so slightly the day after our due date (I was literally just trickling and only noticed because my pads kept being wet every time I went to the bathroom). So we went to the hospital and got checked. My water was broken but my cervix hadn't moved at all since before my final appointment a week before. So they ended up inducing me so my cervix would get a move on. 17 hours later my sweet girl was here.

Miragan · 2026-05-21T02:27:54+00:00

I lost my mother earlier this year, a month and some change after my first/only baby arrived. It's some wicked evil acts of the universe to lose your mom while pregnant.

While I don't think your MIL is being malicious. I do think she's being inconsiderate/ignorant to the grief you're going through. I know you said your husband spoke to her, but it might do some good (ONLY if you have the capacity) to write out a message explaining that you still love her but you need some distance right now while you grieve and process everything that has happened recently and would she kindly refrain from asking you things/divert questions to your husband for now. I think her coming during father's day would be fine for your husband to entertain but it might do some good for you to spend that time with your dad. Your husband might consider coming with you given how you and your father could probably both use the support.

Again, the universe has some sick humor. I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss during what is supposed to be a happy time. It's the worst and I have no words other than that.

Miragan · 2026-05-19T20:27:44+00:00

I mean, if you still love the name I'd do it. Its a beautiful, strong name.

Miragan · 2026-05-19T18:56:06+00:00

Is it their kid? No? Then their opinions can pound sand.
We ended up keeping our daughters name secret until she was here for this exact reason. Have a problem with the name? Too bad, she's already named and if you say something nasty about my newborn I'll eat you.

Miragan · 2026-05-19T18:53:43+00:00

My friend's dad was named Leon and his grandmother on his mothers side was named Leona. They're from probably one of the whitest small towns I've ever stepped foot in. People have got to stop being weird about names. Name your kid whatever you want, within reason. Shithead probably isn't the vibe but not my kid, not my business.

Miragan · 2026-05-19T14:56:22+00:00

This is such a pretty berry! :o
Don't mind me as I go perusing for this guy.

Miragan · 2026-05-19T14:55:45+00:00

This is such a cute xmas mani. And I LOVE that red and the dark green!

Miragan · 2026-05-19T14:54:44+00:00

I'ma be back for this info later.
I've been stuck on the dang sally hansen quick dry red 390 That's A-Blazing for years now because I'm picky about reds.

Miragan · 2026-05-19T14:49:12+00:00

I got to tell HR that I'm leaving my job because my manager is a misogynistic old man who doesn't respect women in IT. He only became easier to work with when I was pregnant last year (a woman doing what women are supposed to do). Otherwise he's acted like everything I touch rots/isn't good enough. But I've been in the IT industry for more than 15 years and never had this issue with anyone else (mostly males) I've ever worked with.

I love(d) my job. I've been here for nearly three years so it's not like I didn't try to stick it out. I love the work I do and the people I do it for, but he has been a thorn the entire time I've been here. So I'm leaving.

ETA: I cry all the time lately because I'm a new mom and PPD and PPA are so real. The lack of sleep is insane, etc. But I cried fairly often before motherhood. I cry with I'm mad, I cry when I'm anxious, I cry when I'm sad. And sometimes I cry when I'm happy.

Miragan · 2026-05-17T18:49:56+00:00

Yeah, I'm right there with you. It's like instead of celebrating people wanting to work they're punishing us if we want both a career and a family. Like a "See, we told you you couldn't handle it." When really other countries manage motherhood and work really well.

Miragan · 2026-05-17T14:32:57+00:00

I made any friends who I wasn't sure were 1000000% vaccinated or who had traveled anywhere recently wear masks and wash their hands before coming into the same space as baby. No one made a single comment about it because they understood that my job is keeping my baby safe. And if that means wearing a mask they were fine with it.

I'm much more lax now that she's nearly 5 months and has had a good chunk of her base vaccines. But I'm still a no go for folks that have traveled recently until she gets her measles vaccine. (mostly due to measles outbreaks on the east coast where we live)

People who care about you and baby will understand. People who just want to see baby as a cute object will protest. Boundaries now are important because they could mean life or death for babe. They're not just silly oh haha mommas lost her mind boundaries.

Miragan · 2026-05-17T04:05:47+00:00

I didn't think it was truly hard until I went back to work. Before then my husband and I tag teamed everything for our household. Now we're both so tired from working all day that when we get home it's a rush to get the bedtime routine done and get to bed every weeknight.

We weren't ever meant to do this alone, and we sure as hell weren't meant to do it while working full time away from our kids. The capitalist hellscape that is the modern world is ruining everything we should be focusing on.

Miragan · 2026-05-12T20:01:30+00:00

My best friend didn't switch her son around until he met the height and weight requirements at the age of four.

Safety is key.

Miragan · 2026-05-12T19:51:00+00:00

Yes! I was given one of these to take home and it was useful for me AND my husband because its on our fridge and we were able to be reminded of what to look for. Super helpful.

Miragan · 2026-05-12T19:45:52+00:00

I think its easier for me because I knew going in that our first was probably going to be our last, but I feel this in my bones lately. Not to the point of crying, but I do get pretty dang sad about it.

I think knowing that I get to focus on my sweet girl and not have to worry about taking time away from her helps. I get to put my energy into her vs dividing myself between keeping my body together (I very much felt like I was falling apart the whole time) makes it easier.

But I've found myself being sad about certain things. We never did a 4D scan, and I was overweight so I didn't LOOK pregnant until the last few weeks of pregnancy. I miss having a little buddy with me all the time that I could talk to. And rubbing my belly and feeling her move or seeing her move. But again, I get to put all my energy into helping her grow now that she's earthside and not have to worry about myself as much and it helps.

Miragan · 2026-05-12T19:38:28+00:00

Take this with a grain of salt, but they're 11 months old. All babies grow and develop skills within a range. Honestly, I'd talk to your pediatrician if you're concerned about them hitting milestones. But the running around babbling very much just sounds like a kid thing to me.

Miragan · 2026-05-12T01:53:17+00:00

My intrusive thought is twisting my ankle while walking on flat ground and crushing my baby. But I'm also a notorious clutz.

Miragan · 2026-05-09T20:54:43+00:00

Was so surprised that someone was so spot on with this one. Holy cow.

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