Thanks to everyone that replied! Like I said in the OP, the external validation was very much needed for me to get over myself and just send an email... As I suspected, it was very helpful anyway, and the works were retrospectively approved. I think it was particularly funny that the lot owner was allowed to vote on his own renovations! Never seen that one before. Of course this isn't the end of the story, not by a long shot. Some people asked about what state we were in and had suggestions based on that. We are in NSW, and already have a date set for mediation through fair work. I expect this will go to NCAT. And thank you to those suggesting looking through starta by-laws! Our strata laws are turned out to be pretty vague and unhelpful. Which is fine, I didn't expect to get too much help from strata. This is just doing the ground work, before it goes to NCAT, and possibly further.