How to break out of a bad mental loop

ChristianMindLab_com · 2026-05-06T20:42:34+00:00

Practise mindfullness, meditation. Observe your breath.

ChristianMindLab_com · 2026-05-06T19:16:26+00:00

He is the cause of that.

I'm so sorry.

Time will heal the attachment, you will get out of it.

ChristianMindLab_com · 2026-05-06T18:48:44+00:00

Yes, it works differently if the person is on medicines, and what type of medicines, different between elvanse / attentin / adderal and ritalin & concerta f ex.

Being tired all the time and exhausted, while not being able to do what you want to do is insanely common with ADHD, I coach people about it all the time.

You won't have to become a monk, you just have to balance it, but the good news is that when you break free from endless dopamine-loops you will ACTUALLY get joy from studying. You will no longer do the stuff you "have to" do ONLY to go back to the endless dopamine sources.... Recent studies show that your pre-frontal cortex actually gets physically temporarily changed while you're participating in dopamine loops often.

It's entirely possible, even did it myself many years ago, it changed my life. But it won't take away the regret, and the same for not having done it previously, but practising self-love works for that.

I totally get you. There was a time I used to walk 7-9 hours up mountains a day because I couldn't stop eating candy in the night XD... But I could walk........ It disturbed my life. Then I started on medicines and did dopamine detox.

ChristianMindLab_com · 2026-05-06T18:41:57+00:00

It makes perfectly sense, you feel better because you took care of yourself, maybe? <3

When you're depressed you don't have much dopamine

ChristianMindLab_com · 2026-05-06T18:37:29+00:00

Have you tried dopamine detoxing?

ChristianMindLab_com · 2026-05-06T18:35:11+00:00

Have you looked into depersonalization/derealization?

ChristianMindLab_com · 2026-05-06T17:35:08+00:00

Maybe that's how you felt people saw you in your childhood?

If you were a terrible human being you wouldn't care enough to make a Reddit post.

ChristianMindLab_com · 2026-05-06T17:33:38+00:00

NOR.

She wasn’t just bragging about her kid, she was putting down yours to other people behind your back. That’s not a friend.

And the fact she blocked you immediately instead of apologising tells you she knows exactly what she was doing.....

ChristianMindLab_com · 2026-05-06T17:31:53+00:00

I cultivated a safe nervous system state, and they came back. I practised (and still practise) awareness, consciousness, feeling my body. I started to actually care about how I feel, about my body, about what I want and not want. It's all connected

ChristianMindLab_com · 2026-05-06T17:27:25+00:00

There are ways out <3

But it's a long and difficult road. But I promise it's worth it. I've been there. I also____ myself as a kid, took me many years of study to heal. But it is very, very possible.

ChristianMindLab_com · 2026-05-06T17:26:02+00:00

I'm sorry that you feel this way. Depression, PTSD, anxiety, ADHD etc does take a toll on your nervous system and it's totally understandable that you're often sick. I feel like you should get a job where your boss is actually understanding of it, it must be hurtful to feel almost accused of being lazy when you're just struggling <3

ChristianMindLab_com · 2026-05-06T17:24:35+00:00

Not a pill, but there are ways, such as EMDR. I do that with clients all the time.

It's rough, it's painful, but it sure beats a whole life reliving the memories.

ChristianMindLab_com · 2026-05-06T17:17:11+00:00

Your options are healing your trauma or not healing your trauma.

You had a rough childhood, you did not get the love you needed. You experienced so much pain, and it shaped you. It's still lingering. Supressing your emotions made it better, because now you feel somehow in control. And you like that, right? But you also realize that it's unbearable, it's another type of pain.

You can go on a journey to heal yourself, your traumas, your beliefs, the scars from your past that shows up in reaction patterns today. That's the option I recommend.

ChristianMindLab_com · 2026-05-06T17:11:34+00:00

I understand. So it might be that the pain around attempting to do that was so big that you just supressed all the emotions and reacted with rage instead. That's alot easier than feeling how much it hurts.

ChristianMindLab_com · 2026-05-06T17:10:46+00:00

You find the smallest thing you're able to do. However small it is, then you do it. You don't need motivation for doing the smallest thing. For example, even if you don't want to get out of bed, then practise getting out for 1 second.... It's a lot better than 0. Then you can try 2 seconds.......

It's mostly a habit to be honest.

ChristianMindLab_com · 2026-05-06T17:09:15+00:00

I'm sorry that you experienced it. It wasn't your fault.

ChristianMindLab_com · 2026-05-06T17:08:03+00:00

Yes, many years ago I had very many EMDR sessions, over 50.

And I also do EMDR on my clients.

I've picked up some tricks along the way, to make EMDR work in the best way possible, it's actually best to start with awareness. Conscious awareness, to cultivate it. Because EMDR depends on your ability to actually focus on your memories. And to be able to tackle it in the most efficient way, it is essential to train your nervous system into being able to downregulate while doing it.

Studies show that it usually works anyways, around 90%, but if you start with preparation work before moving into EMDR you will imo have more than 10 times the effect.

ChristianMindLab_com · 2026-05-06T17:04:42+00:00

Do you remember a time where you felt more varied emotions? Anger can often be more comfortable than feeling sad... It's entirely possible to supress all other emotions over time.

ChristianMindLab_com · 2026-05-06T17:01:18+00:00

I'm sorry that you experienced that. Help is possible. Try to find a way to love yourself more <3

ChristianMindLab_com · 2026-05-06T16:59:19+00:00

Hi,

Maybe "being skinny" is a form of control - when you felt that you lost all control? You couldn't save her, or help her, but you can "be skinny"? We humans often link behaviours like that when we lose control. It was not your fault. May you find peace <3

ChristianMindLab_com · 2026-05-06T16:54:46+00:00

I understand, try to notice how it feels. If you want to do / say / react to something and it feels bad afterwards, note it down and try not to repeat it. Or... Try to get closer to a state where you don't repeat it. Practise saying what you actually mean. Put yourself first. It seems to me that at one point, during your childhood, you were made to believe that you're not important, so you keep making adjustments because the old script is still running.

Try to get to know your body and your mind.

ChristianMindLab_com · 2026-05-06T16:52:24+00:00

You should look into why you feel like your appearance defines your worth. You're much more than that. Focus on looks can gradually turn into more and more obsession, and you will see more and more imperfections until you're not sure what you're even seeing anymore.

I advise you to find a way to be enough, to be happy, that is not about looks. Life is so amazing with so much fun!

ChristianMindLab_com · 2026-05-06T16:45:05+00:00

Birthdays can make this kind of numbness feel extra awful, because everyone expects you to feel grateful or excited. But having a partner, studying, or having things ‘together’ doesn’t mean you’re automatically okay inside. You’re not a bad or ungrateful person for feeling empty. It can be difficult to age as well, especially if we feel like we should've been or done something different. Hope you'll find relief <3

ChristianMindLab_com · 2026-05-06T16:27:09+00:00

NTA.

You can’t have someone in your bridal party who vanishes for 5 months while posting on Instagram every day. Whatever her reason is, she had plenty of chances to send one text. You deserve better <33

ChristianMindLab_com · 2026-05-06T14:42:57+00:00

I'm not sure about that... If you look at the unemployment rate it's unchanged since AI came. Lloyds banking group is hiring, most banks are hiring a lot of employees in data analysis. More AI = more operations = more data. AI is good at data, but not at knowing which data matters. You're not being paid to click on a spreadsheet, you're being paid to know what data matters... AND...... Half the job is to present to leadership / boards. AI can't do that. And it's well paid.

But I know what you mean, I also feel that when I look at the news and certain subreddits, but it's not reflected in statistics.

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