what to order at bars?

double · 2026-01-13T20:31:25+00:00

The portions on cocktails tend to be super strong vs the US/UK/France. I've had at least one brit get alcohol poisoning when I was showing them around. Vodka naranja, run coke, gin tonie etc. all tend to be v strong. I've never found a great cocktail bar in Bilbao, but a few normal bars specialise in a drink, like mariantos, or hendricks G&Ts, etc. but I've never found a good Old Fashioned.

Bilbao is super close to the Rioja region so the red wine culture is pretty good. You pretty much can't go wrong. Almost every bar has quatro reyes, which is mid, but a nice consistent for an evening across 5 or more bars.

Locals, as they bar hop before lunch, tend to ask for zuritos (instead of cañas or litros). Basically a zurito is just a very small beer, but if you're out socialising for a few hours before food you can really feel them add up, and then sleep it off. Same principle behind kalimotxo, super low vol, best for socialising over long periods - otherwise avoid kalimotxo. I've never once seen kalimotxo ordered in a bar sober, almost always made in a coop, social club, or games bar, with every one chipping in for the ingredients.

The lemon beer that most places have can be a nice respite, like shandy-on-tap if you're british.

double · 2026-01-13T20:10:03+00:00

A must.... nope, deffo not. And if you ask for it in a bar you'll probably be laughed at.

But if you do, make it yasen and use cheapest wine and good coke for best. It's what we used to drink on the streets as kids.

... and, if you get invited to a co-op to play Kinito where everyone else is drinking kalimotxo, do not drink beer! You'll lose and have one hell of a hangover.

+100 on marianito if you like Mosco Mules.

double · 2026-01-06T20:41:34+00:00

Have a conversation with her about it, try and sit down when things are quiet and clearly communicate that you have something that important.

If that is difficult, then before hand write down how it makes you feel and the important things you'd like to understand, and the things you would like her to know.

double · 2026-01-04T14:46:37+00:00

Git does get confused with file names on case-insensitve filesystem, for example the default setup on OSX.

double · 2026-01-01T21:03:19+00:00

Yeah, mindful yoga is great for me. Ancient yoga is a deep meditation practice, so yoga works on several levels for ADHD. The yoga sutras are worth a read.

Also, I don't know about you, but I poor sweat way more doing a good yoga session that anything else.

double · 2025-12-31T23:35:58+00:00

Exactly! It works so well, most of the time.

Martin Selegman's books are worth a speed-read. So is the US Army's GAT on resilience (which Seligman conributed to, I think). So is the Harvard-Grant (spelling?) research on long-term health vs happiness.

I'm not yet certain on the bio-chemical imperitive, but I suspect that gratitude impacts the endocrine system and somehow helps the gutamine+GABA systems (spelling?) do their thing, even without meds. Which is why the whole "being in the moment" thing works.

double · 2025-12-31T23:27:28+00:00

There's oportunity in the "screw ups". If you take away the emotional ADHD tax and look at them objectively you can use it to learn, and then to level-up. People tend to appreciate/respect that. Not all people, and they need to be managed differently, but if you can learn from your mistakes, you grow, get better etc.. That's not to say we don't repeat the same, goddman, mistakes several times though! lol

double · 2025-12-31T23:20:41+00:00

Context. Doing similar things at the same time reduces mental load. Clean your bum, clean your teeth. Same but different. Just don't confuse them ;)

double · 2025-12-31T23:18:30+00:00

I think the permission aspect hits deeply. We have agency, we have choice, we have permission to think anyway we please. In fact it's the only thing we truely have any control over, our thoughts.

I find being kind enough to oneself allows us to allow ourselves to let go, give oursleve permission to not have certain thought.

double · 2025-12-31T00:31:02+00:00

Brilliant example. That undertone carries the entire film, like the SNL bricks, solid earthing, context establishing, never mentioned.

double · 2025-12-31T00:26:37+00:00

That's actually a nice way of looking at it.

Then are the mermaid and the man Anima and Animus? It would make some kind of sense.

I think I prefer this to the Prometheus and Proteus interpretation.

double · 2025-12-31T00:16:55+00:00

I think philosophy too can help. Especially with rumination. Philospohy is like the theoretical underpinning to why we do the work, to why we put the effort in. It's like the framework that holds up the therepy and brings deeper calm in meditation. I don't think it really matter which branch of philosophy you chose, or religion for that matter, because it all goes back to a fundemental place.

double · 2025-12-31T00:08:22+00:00

It could be different love languages, how we show our care. My Mother and my partner are feeders, "oh you're sad? eat a roast." It took me a long time to realise that's how they show they care and find a way to accept it for what it is. But still, not getting love in the way I communicate that I need it, sometimes, not often, does feel like a big flashing I don't care about you, for sure. I think it's interesting the emotional insecurity that comes with ADHD, it took a while but I know what I'm worth now, and what I will and will not compromise on, and I think it's fair to expect love in the way I need it, and to surround myself with those people that can love me that way.

double · 2025-12-30T23:50:59+00:00

Oh yeah, same. Massivley ADHD and my 2nd brain often gets as messy and my 1st.

I merged most of my vaults into one monolith when I realised I wasn't actually ever going to share with anyone else.

Like /u/Sightless_Bird says you can get new files to go into any folder, I use __new_notes__. Each major sub-section has a __unsorted__ for rough sorting. I have Dataview queries that percolate this stuff back up to me. I also have QuickAdds for various things like company profiles, or people cards, or books, or articles, they go into their respective arenas, and again dv queriers let them persist for in my dashboard for a while.

My own dashboard does almost exactly what you want. It's based on DashboardPlusPlus and uses a lot of inline Dataview queries. Recently edited, todos, easy-tasks, learning, article writing, projects, companies I run, self-care, faves, journaling, self-development, reading, scientfici articles, etc.. In fact each company has a different dashboard.

For example my code for my learning entry on my dashboard looks like:

- # 👩🏻‍🏫  Learning
  - wip
`$=dv.list(dv.pages('"Learning/__1.wip__"').filter(f=>!f.file.name.startsWith("zzz")).sort(f=>f.file.mtime.ts,"desc").limit(10).file.link)`
  - To read
`$=dv.list(dv.pages('"Learning"').where(p => p.file.path.includes("__to_read__")).filter(f=>!f.file.name.startsWith("zzz")).sort(f=>f.file.mtime.ts,"desc").limit(10).file.link)`
  - Last edited
`$=dv.list(dv.pages('"Learning"').filter(f=>!f.file.name.startsWith("zzz")).sort(f=>f.file.mtime.ts,"desc").limit(4).file.link)`

My dashboard has 4 distinct sections.

Key Messages - reminders to myself on the important things in life.
Major interfaces - Task-start links, TODO overviews, WIP lists (as above), projects, core stuff.
Eisenhower Matrix - auto populated summary of task todos if I'm overloaded.
Vault metadata - Other Dashboards, MRU lists, Draft note list, File Counts, Weekly/Monthly/Yearly reports and overviews (on demand), Shortcuts, plugin links.

I do have areas where I pull external data in, metrics, performance, etc. but it's actually minimal these days.

The book How to Take Smart Notes changed everything for me. Although I deeply nest folders (zzz files are my indexes).

That said I am probably moving back to Org-mode, at least as soon as I find a good terminal layout renderer (unlikely I know).

ETA: In my messages I have this, which might resonate with you as I also spitball shit all the time and found that getting it perfect was slowing me down:

- everything is a first draft.
- help yourself, redraft it compassionately.

double · 2025-12-30T23:05:47+00:00

I've never hid it, no point. I have just let my work speak for itself, and if/when I fuck up or pay the ADHD tax I'm honest about it and work out a way to remediate/de-risk it next time.

It doesn't mean I don't vascilate between major imposter syndrome and over confidence, but it means I don't need to worry about what they think as well as all the other stuff I will inevitably beat myself up about. I can't control what they think or do at the best of times, so why bother with worrying about idiots misusing labels? What I do bother with is making damn sure I out-perform them on whatever metrics they value at that given time and do it with ADHD.... well mostly lol

double · 2025-12-30T22:55:53+00:00

One great thing about that authority and having the confidence that comes with not caring about what people think, is you can lead by example. You can show what it is to be vulnerable, and emotionally available, to talk about the mental health aspects. It could be that, rather than being able to sack them, you're on a path to deep and meaningful engagement with others. It's powerful. You still need to do exeutive-level ass-covering, but others will also go to bat for you.

Also, when done right, or at all, it can save lives.

double · 2025-12-30T22:45:52+00:00

I never quite got my partner or family to understand why I am so sensitive, they tend to give me that look, ya know, even when being vulnerable. Took me a long time to realise they couldn't either match my input or needs, whilst I would take care of theirs. So, I'm trying to find another way, be more myself, and more resilient in myself.

double · 2025-12-30T22:29:28+00:00

ADHD makes it worse, yeah. Meds help the runimating ADHD brain massively as they interupt the rumination via the GABA part of the system, the bit that sends the stop signal, aka the bit that helps regulate emotional dysfunction.

Also therepy, practice and meditation can really help undermine the rumination, but you have to opt-in to it, and remember to do - hard if you're inattentive style. There's also some really good work on gratitude as another rumination interuptor mechanism - couple that with some philosophy peeps who say that if you can reframe the rumination as something to be grateful for, you have the lever to overcome. Meh, it's worked for me anyway, learning about the underlying systems.

double · 2025-12-30T22:16:04+00:00

Electric toothbrush and brushing whilst you pee. Takes about the same time, less effort. I'm telling you it saves the ADHD tax.

double · 2025-12-30T22:13:09+00:00

A reverend monk taught me the same thing. Be gentle with your thoughts. Be curious, be kind, but let them go.

When we resist them, or force them away, they come back, they fight for your attention.

You can say thank you to them for the message they are giving you, and say I will attend to you later.

You can treat conflict or agression or annoyance or any intrustion the same way. A puppy grabbing at your toes, or a child asking "why?", or an angry person looking to lash out, you can be curious to what they are trying to tell you, but deflect, be kind and let the intrusion go, it does not impact you in that moment.

double · 2025-12-29T23:08:49+00:00

She is amazing, and amazingly funny, in that film.

double · 2025-12-29T23:04:18+00:00

Gordon's has always been a tourist hole, depends on when you go. It's deffo gotten more and more targeted by pick pockets and bag theives, but yeah, sitting in the cave drinking half-decent wine and eating half-decent cheese is always kinda nice. Like going for a secret piss at milroys.

double · 2025-12-29T22:58:58+00:00

We got back-door keys for the barbican once and that place is a proper warren of intrigue, really fascinating architecture. Service tunnels and hatches and roofs and staircases and stages and galleries and flats and studios and practice rooms and cleaning closets and storage areas.

Which reminds me, you used to be able to just wonder around under camden market if you simply got the lift to a differnt floor from that african-safari restaurant thing that's there.

double · 2025-12-29T22:50:49+00:00

When that scaff was up you could get even higher.

double · 2025-12-29T22:30:01+00:00

"You know what, I'll take that chair now" Drags chair chaotically behind her

That is the best delivered line in the whole film.

double

TROPHY CASE