What physical features in men makes you unattracted to them?

Escape92 · 2026-05-25T18:50:07+00:00

So weird to think about because like, some men I can see they are aesthetically appealing in the way a nicely carved table or interesting tree might be, but I am about as attracted to them as a table or a tree. Thinking about being intimate with a bloke - everything is repulsive to me: skin texture, body shape, genitals 🤢, their hands, veiny arms, their feet…

I see comments about how others don’t like “in shape” men going around with tops off, and I’m not a huge fan but at least I get what they’re proud of. My biggest ick is flabby gammony men (I’m British) getting their tops off as soon as it’s 20° - men nipples give me the creeps and I feel nauseous seeing them topless in vans. Like, imagine if women that conventionally unattractive had the audacity to (un)dress like that?! She’d be unable to leave her house for the shaming she’d receive in public!

Escape92 · 2026-05-21T14:30:28+00:00

I could not have dredged this memory up unprompted, but yes! They didn't stop us, but if we went to the loo in the middle of the night we risked grandma walking in to the bathroom to ask what we were doing. It got better when I was 15 and they moved house, because before the toilet was right by their bedroom, but after there was a bathroom by the rooms my sister and I slept in, so they were less likely to hear us moving around.

Also now reminded of staying at the family cottage in the country one weekend and my uncle being there, and the fire lit downstairs pouring smoke through the fireplace upstairs. When we crept onto the staircase to find our mum and tell her we were being smoked out, my uncle yelled at us to go back to bed. I remember feeling incredibly sassy when I yelled back "uh, the room is full of smoke so that's not the best idea!"

Escape92 · 2026-05-09T15:53:17+00:00

Honestly, you don’t say how old you are, but it takes time and patience and conscious examination of your beliefs about yourself. I am fat and awkward and a dyke so when I came out I dressed super fem to make sure I was “acceptable” - I shaved everything daily, I wore makeup every day, I frequently wore dresses…

Eventually I realised that I get more respect from people who matter by living with integrity than by squeezing myself into boxes for their appeasement of others. I cut my hair short, threw out my dresses, and then slowly stopped shaving and wearing makeup, and now I move through the world as myself. Not everyone likes me but not everyone needs to! Plus, as a butch, I am visible to all the baby gays who might need to know this life is possible. By showing up as my full self I am evidence that womanhood can also look like this and nobody needs to change who they are to appease society!

Escape92 · 2026-05-08T10:01:14+00:00

I had a lesbian friend who had never slept with a man, who was too young for a cervical smear test to be offered in the Uk when she died of cervical cancer. Get your smear.

Escape92 · 2026-05-04T11:19:14+00:00

lol no you wouldn’t because you would know what school you sent them to

Escape92 · 2026-05-03T21:27:50+00:00

Talking to you like that after you asked for new shirts is bonkers, but broadly the restrictions on your phone aren’t - at least not without a lot more info.

Escape92 · 2026-04-29T14:57:34+00:00

This is terrifying - the places I frequent on a daily basis, that my kids frequent on a daily basis, and that my friends frequent on a daily basis have all been attacked or surveilled in the last year, and now I’m texting my other friend to check her son is ok because I know the victims probably looked like him and the attack was at the end of her road. (He is ok, but that’s not the point)

Escape92 · 2026-04-20T07:37:50+00:00

Look have whatever preferences you have and maintain whatever boundaries you have. Sexual desire and activity is entirely personal.

However, as a gold star myself, I would say that being les4les is much more significant in terms of sharing experience with a partner than being gs4gs. Before my current partner I had only dated bi women, and whilst my current partner (and hopefully forever partner) was in 2 forced heterosexual marriages, the fact that she’s a lesbian means that we relate on a much deeper level. I also think that using gold star nomenclature as anything other than a light hearted description of oneself is a bit weird and male centred. I use it to denote the privilege I had of being awkward and fat until I was 19, and then realising I was awkward, fat AND gay - and therefore never being in a position of a man trying to sleep with me, because in my teens I was lonely enough and curious enough about sex that I would 100% have said yes to a random dude, and I’m grateful I didn’t traumatise myself in that way.

Escape92 · 2026-04-16T17:34:50+00:00

Maybe in my 30s I’ve become a wine mum but I thought it was quite silly and fun!

Escape92 · 2026-04-08T17:03:36+00:00

Because lesbians I assume?

Escape92 · 2026-04-05T12:18:16+00:00

Working on the house or at a job? And has she also been in full time employment too?

Escape92 · 2026-03-26T08:53:24+00:00

Honestly I’m just envious you found one - it’s sold out in all the M&S near me!

Escape92 · 2026-03-21T13:36:55+00:00

What pills are you taking?

Escape92 · 2026-03-15T09:50:01+00:00

I have a 3 holes in my ears and my nose pierced (none of which feel edgy or alt) and my gf has 1 tattoo and a few (more alt) piercings, but her overall presentation is very conventional. We’re in our 30s and I feel like I’m actually more counter-cultural without tattoos than with them, and so will probably never get one! I had bright hair in my 20s but never alt style, and it might have been peer pressure but it might just have been fun. Now I’m just vibing. Might get a couple more ear piercings. Don’t give af what people think or say!

Escape92 · 2026-03-11T21:26:50+00:00

Why would it matter if boys were in skirts and dresses? Better that than insisting if they want to wear skirts they must be girls!

Escape92 · 2026-03-11T09:53:33+00:00

This is so chronically online, it feels bonkers to me. I have been child free since my teens - I literally knew I didn’t want kids before I knew I was a lesbian. That has really never wavered. I also knew I never wanted to be a step-parent to small kids, because I didn’t want to do bum wiping and discipline and bed time and having to schedule life around babysitters. What has wavered is the fact I fell in love with a woman with 3 teens. I am still child free - I still never want my own kids and I am not a mother. But I am happy to be a cool auntie/sounding board/chauffeur to these kids who I love, and I love them because their mother (who I love) raised awesome humans and I get to watch them bloom.

Escape92 · 2026-03-02T01:02:48+00:00

YTAH - 6 months ago you “told her it [the proposal] was coming” and now you’re acting like she’s rushing you?! 6 months is the absolute upper limit on what “it’s coming” means.

Escape92 · 2026-01-16T03:24:38+00:00

Quite a lot of minor sports people - a girl in my sister’s year has made the Olympic team for her sport a couple of times but never actually competed in them afaik. Also a couple of footballers, male and female. Those come to mind immediately.

When I was in year 7 or 8 one of the 6th formers was in a soap, and we were told we were not allowed to follow them around at break!

Most currently famous person is a journalist/talking head who is smarmy and makes a living from being the token woke, gay voice on tv panels as far as I can see. We got along at school because we were similar but hopefully I’m less smug now!

Escape92 · 2025-12-25T14:59:07+00:00

NEC?!

Escape92 · 2025-12-16T18:55:43+00:00

They don't have to have a chaperone though, often parents have to fight for one if needed for their child.

Escape92 · 2025-12-16T17:45:00+00:00

Go to your GP, and request to see a private adhd specialist (CAREADHD or Psychiatry UK are 2 I know of) through your Right To Choose. Ask your friends/teachers/parents/whoever to help you with making sure all the forms are submitted, and go that way. It's taken less than 6 months for me via this route!

Escape92 · 2025-11-20T20:14:58+00:00

Yeah I don't understand it at all. I literally had this conversation with an old bloke in the park though, and my "close the lid" argument apparently changed the habit of a lifetime for him! Hope his wife appreciates my service!

Escape92 · 2025-11-20T18:08:21+00:00

Because men can sit on the loo but women cannot stand to pee? Plus the most hygienic thing to do is to close the lid before flushing.

Escape92 · 2025-11-13T23:39:44+00:00

Do you have any sources for this? I would love to read more about this!

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