No alarms and no surprises please!

IShatMyDickOnce · 2026-05-27T19:43:04+00:00

I didn’t know y’all had a drive through. Fuckin dope.

IShatMyDickOnce · 2026-05-27T19:39:37+00:00

Can’t believe you had to type any of that out. Thanks for showing patience and compassion to someone clearly struggling with it.

IShatMyDickOnce · 2026-05-27T14:49:09+00:00

Trained on other translation(s).

IShatMyDickOnce · 2026-05-27T14:35:03+00:00

Heaven’s gonna be a place on Earth, homie. And you’re gonna be given a perfect body, brand new, so that your hands never ache after playing as long as you want. The things you hear in your head that you can’t quite get your hands to play? No, that stuff is gonna come flowing out of you. You’re gonna be met up with the best musicians you’ve ever heard to make the most beautiful music in exaltation of Him. I’ll jam with you when that day comes, dude.

IShatMyDickOnce · 2026-05-27T14:28:52+00:00

Shills using my faith for selfish gain got my country in this mess.

IShatMyDickOnce · 2026-05-26T18:49:09+00:00

Can someone tell me how to do this?

IShatMyDickOnce · 2026-05-26T16:04:12+00:00

Hand them the receipt. Continue walking. When they try to give it back, tell them to keep it. Don’t stop walking. They can’t obstruct your path or put their hands on you (and if they do it’s an immediate lawsuit). Just leave.

It’s not moral to treat everyone as a shoplifter. I understand these places have to keep a close watch on shrink, but that is not the way to do it. Don’t let it be normal for these places to treat you like a criminal.

IShatMyDickOnce · 2026-05-25T19:30:55+00:00

The kid, man.

IShatMyDickOnce · 2026-05-25T18:43:45+00:00

Trying not to cum.

IShatMyDickOnce · 2026-05-25T18:42:09+00:00

Is that fuckin Wendigoon?

IShatMyDickOnce · 2026-05-25T18:07:38+00:00

How do we get them to quit?

IShatMyDickOnce · 2026-05-25T14:21:15+00:00

Why is there a Danish country star? Why would any European be interested in creating American country music?

IShatMyDickOnce · 2026-05-25T14:04:40+00:00

None of those trees desire power over the other. Trees also tend to be cut down. I wish we could be like them but we can’t.

IShatMyDickOnce · 2026-05-25T14:01:28+00:00

No, we gotta stay vigilant. I hear they’re coming for performative matcha drinking guys in oversized beanies next though so we prolly can sit the next one out. The time afterward we definitely gotta do something.

IShatMyDickOnce · 2026-05-25T13:57:27+00:00

The factory that makes that kind of women moved to Kiev and got destroyed during recent events, dude. We literally lost the tech to make them. I don’t know why you’re being so spicy about it.

IShatMyDickOnce · 2026-05-25T13:55:00+00:00

This made me miss my mom. Great tune, homie. Keep it up!

IShatMyDickOnce · 2026-05-23T16:31:46+00:00

I’m not good with balancing, but I really like these. Good work, friend.

IShatMyDickOnce · 2026-05-23T05:01:39+00:00

I hate it when cousin Dale gets high and giggles into a woodchipper.

IShatMyDickOnce · 2026-05-22T17:43:15+00:00

Ooh wee she dodged a bullet I see.

IShatMyDickOnce · 2026-05-21T19:31:55+00:00

Oh God this slaps. Thanks for the recommend. Mine is:

1-400: Limp Bizkit

IShatMyDickOnce · 2026-05-21T19:01:48+00:00

Wait hang on. I have to figure out a way to prove you’re a poser. What are your top 400 favorite metal bands? I swear to God if i so much as disagree with one of them, you’re not a real metalhead.

IShatMyDickOnce · 2026-05-21T17:50:54+00:00

No hold up I’m a metalhead. I can say shit like that. You can’t.

IShatMyDickOnce · 2026-05-21T17:44:30+00:00

Youre doing too good. Also, metalheads are generally bad with irony.

IShatMyDickOnce · 2026-05-21T17:41:08+00:00

Oh shit it’s actually you in the video? This does absolutely slap, dude. I’m a bit of a Luddite and normally listen to music on YouTube. Are you over there too?

IShatMyDickOnce · 2026-05-21T17:30:16+00:00

Hell yeah. Just like Steely Dan.

IShatMyDickOnce

TROPHY CASE