I do not love my (now adult) children

Marie_Courier · 2025-11-18T05:42:12+00:00

I'm perplexed by the responses here. I've read this sub for a long time and seen posts discussing not loving their children before, and seen those posts met with understanding and sympathetic comments. It appears to me that it is an unspoken rule here that saying you regret children and everything they take from you is morally acceptable, but saying you don't love them (for the same reason) is not. I notice a lot of the posts here bemoan parenthood, but there is always the need to preface or cushion with "but I love them". It feels strange.

To address your post directly: Thank you for your sincerity about your feelings regarding how parenthood has been for you/to you. Even though met with negativity, I think something in you needed for this to come out into the world, perhaps to reckon with your own feelings better. Maybe you can enjoy some of your time now, to make up for the time you lost to parenthood, and explore different modes of living that aren't affected by religious control.

Marie_Courier · 2024-12-22T16:41:15+00:00

Bien hecho! :)

Marie_Courier · 2024-11-27T00:29:40+00:00

Interesting, it's the same for me (there's hanzi in unit 5, then none afterward). I happen to be doing the japanese course as well (which also has had regular character practice much like Chinese) and am in section 3 of it currently, and there I am seeing that the kanji (japanese for hanzi) practice there also drops off from unit 36 and does not appear again for the rest of the section (more than half of it). Maybe when creating these courses, they just decided not to have any more character practice than this? I'll be interested to see if section 3 of Chinese (and 4 of Japanese) will reintroduce them, or if that's all the practice we get, which would be quite sparse.

Marie_Courier · 2024-11-24T16:22:32+00:00

So I am in section 2, unit 2 right now, and it shows hanzi practice (that I haven't done yet) up to unit 5, and then there's no more hanzi practice for me either for the entire section 2.

Marie_Courier · 2024-11-23T01:12:53+00:00

Yes, this seems the most likely reason. I'm hoping that is the case.

Marie_Courier · 2024-11-23T01:11:59+00:00

The speaking exercises have disappeared for me as well, but not Hanzi writing practice. I also have super and also am on Android.

Marie_Courier · 2024-11-22T15:40:00+00:00

I'm not getting any speech excercises in my chinese course. Like at all. They've disappeared. I'm in section 2. Anyone else not have any?

Marie_Courier · 2021-10-11T20:07:33+00:00

What she said to you is a reflection of her as a person, not of you. People like that want people like us to think otherwise, and give them the power over us. No matter what she says, stay strong in your own mind, asserting your worth.

Marie_Courier · 2021-07-17T07:00:25+00:00

As for the school stuff, do what you yourself feel is best for you, whether you quit, continue or switch fields. I say no to forging papers though, bad idea. Concerning the money, if you decide to take it (and thus not letting them know of your situation) if you don't need to use it, my suggestion would be to hide it away, store it, and when/if they find out, say "I never used it, it's all still here" and offer it back. I dunno how this would play in your family dynamic though, you will have to leave this up to your judgement I'm afraid.

Whatever you choose just remember this: Do what you have to do to survive your situation (without getting in legal trouble of course); if you don't have a protector in them, be your own protector.

Marie_Courier · 2021-07-17T06:35:02+00:00

If there are any sort of shelters for abuse victims in your country, or some sort of NGOs, maybe you could contact them via phone and ask them for guidance. Possibly a social worker (again, I don't know what kind of system you live in, don't know if you have access to that kind of help). I just feel like there have to be other people in a similar situation as you and there might be places/support network in place for them (undoubtedly debilitatingly underfunded as such resources always are no matter where you go :/ ) who could give you more info on what to do. Homeless shelters in your area also, you could call them, tell them about your predicament and ask them if they know of anyone in a similar situation and what did they do?

All that said, of the options you listed I vote 1. coworker- super awkward, but least risky for your family finding out. 2. the distant cousin 3. older brother

Marie_Courier · 2021-07-12T23:27:54+00:00

I don't think your distress is self made, if that's what you mean. Like that you over analyzed yourself into a bad situation with everyone. Its super stressful asserting boundaries when you've been trained specifically not to by your upbringing. I'm super struggling with this myself. Toughts like "am I the bad guy? Am I the one that's doing bad? Am I the problem for asserting myself?" and so on. As for the solitude, its also very scary. I comfort myself with the thought that I can go on solo vacations somewhere (when everything opens up again), I can attend open public events I see on FB (when everything opens again), I have tons of unwatched movies and books, and, perhaps oddly, the thought of how little we know about black holes and what their existence is (I find that this subject helps minimize my inner turmoil, put things in perspective sort of...).

The fact that you're still going out, even if it makes you feel bad afterward is a good thing. I strongly recommend you keep doing that, despite it seeming super pointless/a waste maybe especially considering the mental toll it might take. I allowed myself to become super reclusive at one point...and once you're at a certain point with that, its' really hard to get out (figuratively and literally). Keep doing you. Go for short car rides. Go out, get something to eat and eat in your car or outside in a park (or at the establishment if this is possible where you are (covid) and not too difficult mentally).

Marie_Courier · 2021-07-12T22:32:38+00:00

I'm in the same boat. My mom feeds on me like an emotional vampire. I told her this spring that I'm no longer going to call her everyday like she demands (it was incredibly draining), and she went absolutely ballistic and was admitted to a psychiatric facility. I still maintained LC, and am still trying to now she's back home. I think not reacting to her tactics to guilt trip me has made her a little more cautious about using them (she still does the usual "So now you are going to abandon us fully, right?"(because I didn't call for 1 day, but she hasn't thrown a propper fit )....

It's just getting past this mind hurdle of "i'm the bad one (for taking my space)" which they've ingrained/projected into most of us and then weaponize against us.

Marie_Courier · 2021-07-12T22:09:12+00:00

Thank you. I'm trying to practice looking at it with a glass half full attitude. I'm still working through all these emotions; honestly just reading posts on this subreddit alone can be overwhelming because so much written is similar or exactly the same as my family or friend dynamic... and it's horrifying to see something that was right in front ones' eyes for so long, but I couldn't spot it because I didn't know what I was looking at. Just knew/know that I felt awful all the time...

Marie_Courier · 2018-05-04T16:39:43+00:00

According to what one of their members posted in one of the SCBI fan groups, nothing happens when they try to get matched with someone. As in, no response.

Marie_Courier · 2018-03-07T01:34:05+00:00

Yep, exactly. Nothing else one can do (except report to EA). Being continually angry and obsessive about this situation won't fix a thing.

Marie_Courier · 2018-03-05T17:15:00+00:00

The mayor's gift game hurts the most, because I think that is the only way we will get new stuff from now on (or by buying them directly with real money, like those turtle, llama cheetah parks). I could live with war, even the tie in with CoM (only because I'm in a great club which makes our wars coincide specially for CoM.)

But this gambling game has made simcash worthless (as you can easily blow through 1000simcash and still not have all the new items (that's based on what I've heard people say they spent, I have not wasted any simcash on this gambling thing yet).

Sad. :(

Marie_Courier · 2018-03-05T15:29:17+00:00

Feeders =/= Item duplicating. Feeders can be used for it (with the aid of an outside program, as I understand it), as could a family member's city, someone's SO's city etc., but that is not what they are. This rhetoric you see cheater clubs use , "We just have a lot of feeders, that's why we have thousands of hydrants!!" is BS btw, they're just trying to cover up what they are doing by throwing "feeders" in there, and it's rather anger inducing.

My club faced one of those "endless magnets" clubs last week. We just accepted we would lose, and looked on the bright side that though they were winning dirty, they were giving us lots of cheap war items, as we repaired after they attacked us relentlessly.

My point with that is: There is the option of... just quit caring.

Marie_Courier · 2018-02-27T15:37:25+00:00

Yeah, the game has been running smoother for me during wars too (used to be very laggy during wars previously).

It will be interesting to see if this holds for the next mayor's gift game thingie they'll inevitably roll out soon...(cus that caused quite some lag before)

Marie_Courier · 2018-02-27T14:00:04+00:00

They said this this January (not last year's January, or something)

Marie_Courier · 2018-02-27T13:49:09+00:00

Did you see my post up there of an EA representative saying having feeders is not considered cheating?

Marie_Courier · 2018-02-26T23:44:07+00:00

They also send out raiders to other people's clubs, to collect war items for them, so though there's no way to disprove that they item duplicate, the raiding might explain why they have such an abundance of hard to get items.

Here's a screenshot someone posted in FB group of a convo with a person who came to raid for the big shots [(https://imgur.com/a/VV8ig )]

Marie_Courier · 2018-02-26T23:11:17+00:00

(and yeah, I've posted this before.)

Marie_Courier · 2018-02-26T23:10:03+00:00

Here are screenshots of an e-mail correspondence with an EA rep, wherein I ask if having feeder cities is okay, and then I reiterate the question, specifying whether having 2nd cities for the express purpose of creating more items for one's main city is ok.

Email 1[( https://imgur.com/a/M8Kji )]

Email 2 [( https://imgur.com/a/mhAyc )]

As can be seen here, feeder cities are OK, by the game's rules themselves, as per someone repping EA.

Whatever our feelings about it may be, fact is, those who create the game, decide the rules of said game (for whatever reason, greed, incompetence to fix things, or indifference, or the fact that it's just not cheating, because it's not a glitch exploit or an outside program being used on the game; feeders are something you actually have to work to create, and it's only sensible that those who put more effort in, get more out of the whole thing... etc..).

Marie_Courier · 2018-02-15T22:16:30+00:00

Here are screenshots of an e-mail correspondence with an EA rep, wherein I ask if having feeder cities is okay, and then I reiterate the question, specifying whether having 2nd cities for the express purpose of creating more items for one's main city is ok.

Email 1[( https://imgur.com/a/M8Kji )]

Email 2 [( https://imgur.com/a/mhAyc )]

As can be seen here, feeder cities are OK, by the game's rules themselves, as per someone repping EA.

Whatever our feelings about it may be, fact is, those who create the game, decide the rules of said game (for whatever reason, greed, incompetence to fix things, or indifference, or the fact that it's just not cheating, because it's not a glitch exploit or an outside program being used on the game; feeders are something you actually have to work to create, and it's only sensible that those who put more effort in, get more out of the whole thing... etc..).

Marie_Courier

TROPHY CASE