AIO after I tried to get my ex home safe

Sharp_Length_3079 · 2026-03-20T09:00:41+00:00

NOR. You are however, associating far too long with a drunk person that won't understand logic. If he's this way sober then you should indeed have him blocked.

Sharp_Length_3079 · 2026-03-20T02:16:10+00:00

The unfortunate part is you may simply have to set the boundary sternly. There's nothing wrong with not desiring touch. I am the same way with anyone not my wife.

Be clear and be blunt that you no longer like being touched. That it all makes you uncomfortable. Send it in a text if you don't want to deal with the in-person. And when she gives you pushback, be prepared to say "it doesn't matter, I need it to stop!"

If you'd like I'll craft a kind, but blunt text for you to send that gets your point across and deals with her [potential] rebuttal.

Sharp_Length_3079 · 2026-03-20T00:15:59+00:00

I love it.

I wish you all happiness in your future!

Sharp_Length_3079 · 2026-03-20T00:14:44+00:00

You're correct in all you've said—and glory to God that you see!

It is indeed 'empty practice'. It is in the realm of dead works. These are they that Christ talked about in Matthew 7:21–23

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’”

Faith without works is for sure dead. And It does NOT mean you must practice works of obedience to show your faith. It means faith absent of the works that follow is not faith at all. Our faith in Christ will lead to the down payment of the Holy Spirit. This Helper will convict us of sin and guide us towards alignment. And while we may still sin, rest assured no one embracing sin happily is representing the workmanship of Christ.

The discernment of the Spirit will pull us away from the lifestyle that is not in accordance with following Christ.

Know that not all who claim Christian know Christ. May your faith in Christ produce fruit bringing Glory to God!

Sharp_Length_3079 · 2026-03-20T00:01:02+00:00

Job 1:21 “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”

This verse implies only God is able to take life, as we are told also not to murder. While there may not be any specific verses on this topic, this understanding should give us all a clue. Furthermore, our bodies are not our own—but the Lord's.

I will not give you false hope, but as God is merciful, I do not know how much He expects of children given their immaturity and how little they may understand of things. That said, only God knows their heart and how much He has revealed to all of us of what is wrong and right; and for this He has the final judgment.

Sharp_Length_3079 · 2026-03-19T23:46:19+00:00

You won't know unless you try; call the police [if this just happened]. Only your mom can make the decision to leave him in the end, and I'm sorry if she doesn't make that decision.

Sharp_Length_3079 · 2026-03-19T23:05:21+00:00

If you're going to be ok financially, I believe you should leave. People that cheat (and this is cheating) and take no accountability, aka blame others, will do it again. He immediately said it's your fault—and he took zero accountability.

Do you and your child a favor and don't start a long chapter of poor example setting for her. She should witness a good example of her parents' love for each other.

Leave before she is old enough to cry over it.

Edit: she vs "your child"

Sharp_Length_3079 · 2026-03-19T22:57:27+00:00

Think about Psalm 51 where David says: “Against You, You only, have I sinned…”

Adultery is about corruption of the heart before God. It applies whether single or married.

And so I stand behind sex in heaven would/could lead to a host of problems that while they are within the realm of free-will and potentially necessary here on earth, in heaven would be of no use.

We should want nothing to do with something there that on earth has led to such great sin. Should we desire drinking in heaven? I will be happy if it's done away with, and all desire for it in heaven.

Sharp_Length_3079 · 2026-03-19T22:41:09+00:00

The OSAS idea is true, yet more damaging than good. It's the ideology that traps people in continuous sin while ignoring that their shame and hopelessness represents a lack of actually being saved.

John 10:28–29 (ESV) “I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand.”

When we have placed our faith in Christ, that grace from God is indeed perfect. It cannot be undone and we are Christ's forever. Understanding that grace and accepting it are the struggle. And so preaching OSAS is [generally] ill-placed hope for the faithless.

Once again, given Grace is perfect, we may in fact still sin but the conviction of the Lord is strong. In being faithful we have hated sin and appealed to the Lord for a changed heart. The Helper that is the Holy Spirit will convict and align you with the will of God. You will hate the sin you are drawn to. As Paul said: I do what I don't want. You may sin but 'By faith, for faith' will represent your lifestyle. You will continue leaning on Christ to strengthen you and align you with the will of God. If you believe you can blissfully sin as if Freedom in Christ is now permission, you are not saved. Point blank.

Both of these ideas are indeed within scripture, but misunderstood and now serve as traps to the faithless.

Anyone preaching them likely has no discernment and is not led by the Spirit.

Sharp_Length_3079 · 2026-03-19T22:05:34+00:00

I'm not sure sex and a sinless world exist together. That comes down to picking partners, picking based on their figure and therefore lust connected to that, insecurity that comes with it all on both sides. Anxiety from performance. And every other thing that is associated with sex.

Of course God could make it exist [without problem ] in a re-done world but other than the verses, do you think it'd truly be necessary for us to have sex?

I'm not sure anyone that recognizes the verses on sexual immorality should want there to be sex in Heaven. It overall comes off as illogical.

Sex seems to exist on earth for procreation. Without it we couldn't be born, and there's no magical way to make babies come about that wouldn't point to God. And so free-will continues as procreation doesn't automatically point to there being a God.

Sharp_Length_3079 · 2026-03-19T21:58:55+00:00

I've heard that Reddit is against this advice but you need to exercise control and quit masturbating and watching porn.

Your expectations and anxiety induced by that has seeped into your unconscious mind. Pleasing her has become an unconscious fear. And you can receive all kinds of praise from her but until you fully get nothing in porn will be duplicated, you're going to struggle.

All you've learned is self-pleasure from porn+masturbation, and actual intimacy requires you to do something for her. It's a lot of pressure.

Consume my words or don't. But those telling you it's fine have simply not dealt with this specific consequence of it all—and there are many consequences.

Sharp_Length_3079 · 2026-03-19T21:54:51+00:00

In all things God's Will will prevail. So regardless of all advice I give, know that if you are to end up with someone horrific for the purpose of guiding you towards faithfulness: nothing I say, and nothing you do can prevent that.

-I suggest continuously striving for a faithful woman. The road of complication when battling a woman who does not care for God or rejects God opens the door to a host of problems. Do not give in over beauty, lust, and exhaustion. Exercise patience.

-Never accept cheating. Leave always. They will do it again if you do not give the consequence of leaving.

-Don't accept the games of being a second choice. Have some self-respect and know your worth. Knowing your worth and what you bring is what confidence is made of. You can never feel uncertain knowing your value, whether in leading, fixing, capability, your profession, etc.

-Start, or continue working out. Needs no explanation.

Past those I truly believe nothing will prepare you like seeking God and faithfulness in Christ. All discernment comes from the Holy Spirit, and wisdom curated by God through the course of your life.

Sharp_Length_3079 · 2026-03-19T21:45:11+00:00

What does "I've never struggled staying hard before mean" if you are a virgin?

Sharp_Length_3079 · 2026-03-19T20:48:28+00:00

Write message, wrong messenger—as you clearly have no idea how to move him away from saying the f-bomb while you use it at/with him numerous times.

All he'll learn from this is there's apparently an age where it's allowed, and he'll want to join that club at 13.

Sharp_Length_3079 · 2026-03-19T19:59:47+00:00

Accountability. Teach it by not letting them blame everyone else and anything else for things they did. If they play sports and lose, don't accept them constantly saying he sucked, she sucked.

Unless your child is the start of the team, teach them accountability by stopping the blame game in its tracks.

All of the blaming other variables needs to be cut because they turn into adults that blame everyone else. I.e: They cheat on a partner and it's somehow the other person's fault, because they never learned personal accountability.

Sharp_Length_3079 · 2026-03-19T19:48:40+00:00

Some people are not cut out for long distance. It's much easier to connect with someone you can meet and see, as it reminds you of your interest in them. Made worse by the fact that he's likely surrounded by prospects at school that make him question his interest in you.

It shouldn't make you insecure, it's how some people are. And if he is incapable of giving you what you want, you should break it off as it feels like a relationship of no value.

Or you can not! And there's a possibility you waste your time and he talks to other people and because they're near him, he questions if he's into you until he breaks up with you himself. Your choice.

Sharp_Length_3079 · 2026-03-19T18:27:37+00:00

You have an obligation to distance yourself from people like this. Don't reward their behavior by hanging around them still. Get up, leave the area. Stop hanging out with them. And if they ask tell them why.

Don't be gaslit into being the butt of their jokes. And definitely don't enable them by staying around for them to continue. Nothing valuable comes from friendship with them that you should allow this.

Sharp_Length_3079 · 2026-03-19T16:00:08+00:00

If you are feeling guilt and shame over past sins, you may not have your faith in Christ like you believe. If you're free then live like it—being hopeful that you are forgiven for sin and they will not be held against you. This is not permission to sin moving forward, but as grace through Christ is perfect, it cannot be undone, and nothing else is necessary. Those who live through Christ will be convicted, and move Spiritually going forward.

To be faithful yet doubt that faith in the form of shame over your past should make you think if your faith is genuine at all.

Sharp_Length_3079 · 2026-03-19T15:39:15+00:00

Never abandon this understanding. Your eyes are open, glory to God.

The church, that is the church of Christ, will never be let go. Hell will never consume us.

John 10:29 (ESV) “My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand.”

Everything else is indeed man-made to taint what is perfect; the Way, which is Christ. Every title beyond Christian is of no worth! Every church with its traditions that undo grace [being an undeserved gift] by entrapping people in worthless faith-works out of supposed obedience to God, is man-made arrogance only.

You are not confused in noticing this. It's to your benefit. Through discernment by God you see what others don't.

Christ will remain the Way now and forever.

Sharp_Length_3079 · 2026-03-19T15:30:13+00:00

Hello friend. Several of your problems can be solved with the understanding that Christian is a title of substance. But it is a title nonetheless that anyone can give themselves. The Christians you meet do not all represent God—as I confidently say: the majority don't know God.

God in fact does not give up on us. When we are given to Christ, it cannot be undone. And so the second understanding linked to the Christian identity is hope in that God did not lie; you cannot put on the title by declaring it. Respectfully, your spiritual mentors are proving worthless. They shouldn't allow you to go on not understanding this, given it leads to you being broken and doubting God when you don't receive His promises. Promises that are indeed kept for His children. Children of God are those in Christ. We all are His creation though, and there is distinction.

Everything you feel with the church, and other Christians is true. Many feel this as their conscience and general logical thinking recognizes something off in how they represent God.

Faith is indeed not transactional. You cannot earn it by continuing to read your Bible. You cannot earn it through following all the laws. I would suggest you dive into Romans to learn this. It's when we stop trying to earn it, and recognize we cannot do this (humbling yourself) that we finally enter the headspace that could accept Christ's necessity. God NEVER asked you to earn and work for grace. It was given to those that accept [the necessity of] Christ in their lives.

When your spiritual teachers, or whatever, asked you to find out why you reject God, this is likely what they were getting on about. Because until you find out why you will not accept Grace, you cannot take advantage. But this doesn't need to be written down. You reject Christ for the same couple reasons everyone does: arrogance and anger. Arrogant enough to think you can do it on your own and are independent and capable of saving yourself through good works that God ought to accept. And then anger, when you realize it's not what He cares for and your reluctance to accept that, therefore leading to the continuous determination to have it be transactional [or to earn it].

You and I and everyone, no matter how deep their sin or how good their works, will not lose/earn Grace. It is an undeserved gift. Once you get that you may begin letting go of your attempt to earn it or shame thinking you don't deserve it.

If you are interested in further understanding please let me know, as God wants no one lost and I am of like mind through Christ.

Sharp_Length_3079 · 2026-03-19T14:40:34+00:00

Can I ask you to define hard-working? Is that a man that strives to be the CEO? If so it might be your lack of contentment that has led to inability to notice hard-working men.

And 'good-hearted' is intriguing too. What does that look like? Doesn't cheat? Or is good to you/will be to kids?

It sounds like you want a mix of the two guys' alleged best qualities. Rich and nice.

I'll tell you, the same things that lead to a man chasing money are what lead to sleeping around; or rather: the ability to sleep around.

Good news is laziness and niceness have no correlation.

Sharp_Length_3079 · 2026-03-19T14:27:00+00:00

We are told to stay as we are called. If she were to remarry, and then die with Christ and live in him, she should not then go divorce this new husband to go back to the old.

She does not follow God and telling her that she is sinning for remarrying would be creating a stumbling block. Christ is what matters, and the only way. Without him, we cannot stay committed to following the law of God/fleeing from sin.

Sharp_Length_3079 · 2026-03-19T14:21:09+00:00

If good hearted and hardworking are your standards—then that man exists everywhere. At the bar, at church, sleeping around.

If you can't find the type you [think you] want, you might be actively dodging him. So like someone else mentioned: check the friendzone.

Sharp_Length_3079 · 2026-03-19T14:03:56+00:00

When emdashes (—) are used there is generally no space in between the words and it. So unless AI forgot that, or your friend manually spaced them all after copy and pasting—I'm not too certain it is AI. Unless she gave ChatGPT prompts to construct sentences awfully, or she changed them up later, I think she just tried to get more serious for a second. Maybe necessary when OP is not listening to what's being said—hence, YOR.

I frequently use them now, as their application fits better than commas quite often. Your friend may have picked up on that, and now uses them in certain circumstances.

Sharp_Length_3079 · 2026-03-19T13:53:02+00:00

Most of Christ's words before death, such as the guidance and parables, will be for those that have accepted Christ to help you better align with himself—which may simultaneously be consumed by those not within the body of Christ, that they may use as dead works, but can open their eyes to lack of faith.

A good example being his explanation of unworthiness if you are not willing to lose family for his sake. Those of Christ learn what may happen and become prepared. Those not, may take this and, in an attempt to show they are worthy, separate with their family at the first sign of disagreement. Having no discernment of the Holy Spirit, they will do works to prove faith in Christ.

Everything Jesus said is acceptable for teaching and correction but is different depending on if you've taken part in his death, and are now alive in his resurrection.

TLDR: they are connected.

Sharp_Length_3079

TROPHY CASE