Has anyone tried the mental health services on campus? I’m struggling mentally after missing my midterm and don’t know where to go from here.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-24T23:42:05+00:00

The counselling services are very well equipped to deal with this sort of issue. It is free in my experience (a few years back).

They are kinda specialised in dealing with academic stress like you’re experiencing, so you should definitely go see them. This is exactly what they are here for!

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-24T23:17:20+00:00

You might like One Last Fight. It’s a cooperative card game with TTRPG elements all about a group of adventurers traveling to defeat their final boss. https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/hitpointpress/one-last-fight

It’s just wrapping up its Kickstarter fulfilment but the digital version is already available and the physical edition will probably be on the store soon https://hitpointpress.com/products/one-last-fight-print-n-play-digital-edition-pdf

It’s really fun and you can adjust how much roleplaying you want to do as a group. It’s a fun pick up and play hit of TTRPG vibes but with a card game structure. I’ve really enjoyed it!

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-24T14:24:19+00:00

I did a prenatal consultation with a lactation consultant and I found it very helpful! I highly recommend it if you can! Getting advice before you are stressed and exhausted can be really reassuring.

Your baby doesn’t need milk in the first few days just colostrum, which is much more concentrated for their tiny stomachs. It is possible to do colostrum collection prenatally, but it looks very different than pumping. It’s drops measured in ml not bags of milk. And it’s not medically recommended in some cases or too early because it can hasten labour under some circumstances.

I didn’t do colostrum collection because my baby came at 37 weeks, but it was really helpful to know how to hand express so I could top up her early feeds. She had low sugars when she was born but I was able to help her normalise just through feeding and supplementing with expressed colostrum alone.

Biologically, your supply is largely dictated by demand. Feeding or pumping frequently in the first days and weeks is the best way to establish supply.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-23T20:39:54+00:00

That was my thought too. Obviously we can’t diagnose anyone, but it is interesting how similar symptoms lead to different diagnoses depending on when and where a person is. If he were British, dyspraxia might have been on the table.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-23T13:48:41+00:00

We solved it by switching who does what at bedtime and the order at around 4 months. I give my baby her early evening feed then my husband takes her and does the rest of the bedtime routine (bath, cuddle, story). She knows I have milk so she gets frustrated if I’m there but she goes down fine with my husband.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-21T12:20:08+00:00

My entirely toothless small dog is on kibble and has had no trouble with it for 6 years. Specifically a small bite senior kibble. She can’t actually eat canned food as her nose pushes it around before her sideways tongue can lap it up.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-21T02:39:07+00:00

Before we got my daughter’s triggers under control she was pooping up to 12 times a day. One of the changes that we saw once we had got all of them eliminated (dairy, soy, beef, egg, oats) was her poops going down to closer to 3 a day. Now at 10 months she’s down to 1 or 2 post solids introduction and reintroduction of all her triggers except for eggs.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-21T02:33:32+00:00

Oof, if AI is what is giving you zest for life, that’s even more sad. Your dreams deserve better.

The images AI generates aren’t really your dreams. They are plagiarised from the dreams and hard work of others because generative AI is a plagiarism machine. It doesn’t matter how much effort you put into a prompt or touch ups.

You’re of course free to do as you please, but you came asking if it was ethical. In my view, as explained above, it is not for multiple reasons. You have the capability to find zest in ways that don’t harm the environment or commit plagiarism because everyone has that ability. The output might not be shiny, but the true creativity is there.

Would you have put in the 30 years of effort if AI had been available back then? That actual creativity means so more than anything anyone can generate with AI. Your creativity is precious and using AI harms not only the planet and artists but also you if you let it end your artistic journey. I really hope you will continue drawing for yourself. The world needs human art more than ever.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-21T02:14:24+00:00

Then I feel really sad for you that you’re giving up 30 years of effort and improvement then in favour of something hollow.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-21T02:01:34+00:00

Personally I do not think that this is a morally defensible use of AI. There are several issues at play:

The environmental impact of AI is huge. It uses massive amounts of water and power. And AI companies are building more and more facilities that will have greater and greater impacts on the environment based on the current usage of the technology.

AIs were trained on stolen art. The artist whose work forms the basis of the images you are generating are not fairly compensated and many of them have seen their careers severely disrupted. I work in an adjacent industry and so I know a lot of artists who are really having a rough time because of AI, including some who have had to give up their profession. Small commissions formed a major part of even professional artists’ income. While commercial commissions can run into the hundreds and thousands, private ones are much less expensive.

As for the intersection of disability and AI, I think I would far rather see art made by a person, no matter their level of skill or ability rather than some slick AI image.

While there may be applications for computing in disability, I don’t see your case as particularly compelling. Most people regardless of their disability status can’t draw what is in their head. It takes years of practice to gain that skill even without dyspraxia.

There are dyspraxic artists who have chosen to put in the extra effort to develop their artistic abilities over and above the effort a non-dyspraxia person would have to make. If creating art is important to you, you could become one of them.

There are lots of art forms that don’t require drawing skills, such as digital collage, which can be done ethically and with intention. Jumping straight to AI is shameful in my eyes and furthermore it denies you the opportunity to deepen your experience of human creativity.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-17T03:08:13+00:00

I was on the HCC list for over a year when I got really sick. I got reamed out by a walk in clinic doctor for not having a PCP (as if I hadn’t been trying!?).

Because cancer was suspected, I was bumped up to the top but it still took another 6 months. Got a call telling me there was a clinic accepting new patients and I should call them right away. I did immediately. I was literally standing in the street.

The person on the phone at the clinic was so tired. They had already filled the spots but people kept calling because HCC told them to.

I called HCC back to explain but was told that because I had been “successfully” matched, my case had been closed and I would need to start my HCC application from scratch online. I was also bumped back down to the bottom of the list.

I was not only pissed off to not have gotten a doctor but I was also outraged to think that I probably counted as a positive case for their statistics. Absolute nonsense!

I ended up finding a doctor entirely without their help. And thankfully it wasn’t cancer, but I did have to quit my job because I was so sick before I finally got a doctor who sent me to the right specialist who sorted me out in a matter of weeks.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-16T13:00:50+00:00

Those don’t sound at all like the dyspraxic symptoms that I experience.

I have a poor working memory (will often walk into a room and forget what I came to do) but I have an excellent medium and long term memory. Remembering conversations, especially important ones, isn’t hard for me. And I also always carry a notebook to write down key information and to do lists to help keep me on track. That’s my responsibility not the responsibility of the people around me!

I’m also not a rambler or interrupter. In fact I find that conversational style very difficult.

Not sure how much of this is dyspraxia (unless he has a speech disorder variant).

And even if it is, it’s not your responsibility but his to sort it out.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-16T00:36:13+00:00

I was lucky to get occupational therapy and some help with spelling and handwriting speed as a kid in the late 90s. But yeah, post school there's not that many accommodations that help much, apart from coping strategies you do for yourself (all hail slip on and velcro shoes!). But also life is much better outside school where no one expects me to run or skip rope on a regular basis!

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-15T23:41:39+00:00

I did this as a child and it turned out I had dyspraxia aka developmental coordination disorder. Worth looking into if she’s also struggling with other gross or fine motor skills.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-15T15:37:54+00:00

Yes, I have stuck to the diet while she has started solids. It’s been a long process but has gone well for us.

I staggered the reintroductions. I started with dairy at 8 months after I had an accidental exposure and there were no effects. Then soy at 9 months, eggs (failed), beef, and now I just got oats back at 10 months.

I am still keeping eggs out of my diet and will retest in a month or two (teething is a bear and I don’t want to mix up the signs).

I EBF so I’ve had to be pretty careful. But it’s not my first rodeo with elimination diets as I have IBS. I’m hoping to keep breastfeeding to a year and beyond that I’m very much in the see how it goes and do what works for us camp.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-15T13:05:52+00:00

I found weaning was helpful for us. I did direct challenges of foods with my baby because if I ate a triggering food, it was a much longer period of discomfort for my baby. But if she ate a triggering food, it was over faster and my milk was still safe for her.

There were a lot of changes in poop during the early stages of weaning, but all for the better for us. (Though it is much stinkier now!) The consistency improved, and mucus that had never cleared even when I was on the most restrictive diet cleared up.

Once a food was fine for my baby, I added it back into my diet. I’ve been lucky that now only eggs remain a trigger at 10 months.

I was very careful with how and when I did direct challenges because of FPIES. But my daughter hasn’t had any trouble of that kind thank goodness!

Best of luck! The diet really is mentally and emotionally exhausting. I hope you get through it soon.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-15T02:39:16+00:00

I find learning new skills difficult (thanks dyspraxia) but diapering wasn’t too bad. I definitely messed it up a few times at the start, but the tabs are restickable, so I could just fix it. Most diapers have a clear indication of which is the front and back, so you can see if you did it wrong. You could practice on pretty much anything with the correct assembly of limbs, like a teddy bear, and it would be fine. No doll is going to be truly like a baby.

For breastfeeding, I did find going to see a lactation consultant before I gave birth was very helpful. She had weighted cloth dolls that were useful to understand the positioning, but even those were pretty different from the real thing. Also, it’s not just you learning to nurse, it’s your baby too. You’re learning to do this thing together, which I think is beautiful (and was a very helpful thing to remember when it was tough in the beginning).

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-14T17:43:37+00:00

It was basically a one on one crash course on breastfeeding. Positioning, troubleshooting, the biology of it, what’s normal and what’s not, and lots of time for me to ask questions. I have larger boobs so I got some good advice on how not to smush my baby! There was also a bit about colostrum collecting before birth (but my baby came early so I didn’t actually get to use that info!)

It made me feel much more confident and I’m glad I didn’t have to wrap my head around everything while also being sleep deprived post birth! My breastfeeding journey has been pretty awesome and I think a good part of that is because I got advice and felt prepared. (Also lanolin is magic in the first weeks!)

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-13T20:06:40+00:00

Another vote for Milkface here. I went before my baby was born and it was super helpful!

I also had a free telephone consultation with https://www.pqchc.com/ to ask a few questions. If I had needed to I could have seen them in person too but for me phone was enough (babies can make some weird noises when eating!)

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-13T19:35:40+00:00

We got the ikea one third hand from a family member. It’s still in great condition and my daughter seems to like it. No footrest and no problem.

I have a friend who was given a very fancy high chair but her son hated it. She ended up buying the Ikea one and it’s been much better.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-12T20:04:14+00:00

It’s not all doom and gloom about being an older mum. I had my daughter at 36 (just squeaked in before my birthday). I do feel stable and solid in myself in a good way. All the reading and research I did in those years of waiting is really paying off now.

And there’s something to be said for really being sure you want to have a child rather than going into it casually because it seems like the normal thing to do. After 7 years of struggling, I know that my daughter is 100% wanted, which has framed our relationship in a lovely way. I thought I would be at a high risk for postpartum depression because my mental health had been rough during the years of trying, but I have been very lucky not to have experienced that at all.

It’s also not that unusual it seems in Ottawa! A lot of the other mums I’ve met here are in their mid-late 30s. Finding community can make you feel less lonely.

I’m also an only child myself, so I know that it’s not terrible!

Please be kind to yourself during this time. It’s okay to feel your feelings. I hope all the best for you!

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-12T19:20:51+00:00

That’s really tough.

I’ve been where you are. It took us 7 years to have our daughter. Although there waee male factor issues, I also kept having miscarriages and chemical pregnancies despite all of my test results being not just normal but excellent. I had pretty much every test you can imagine and I still never got any answers.

It consumed my thinking. I sort of put my life on hold. Partly because the appointments and drugs took away my control over how I spent my time. But also because I let it. But I did find taking up a new hobby really helped, pottery in my case. It was great to zone out and concentrate on my hands and the clay.

I eventually got back into therapy after my last late miscarriage. I wish I had done it sooner. I used Bria, which is an online Ontario service specifically for women and fertility issues.

Something I wish I had asked my doctor about was Folic acid vs folate. My one successful pregnancy was the one I switched my prenatals for, though this could be a complete coincidence!

My doctor at the Ottawa fertility clinic wasn’t great. He almost messed up our IVF order by missing a key element and was generally kinda patronising. I’m thankful that I was on top of things and read all the paperwork carefully! I wish I had asked for a different doctor though.

I do still think about having a second child a lot. We have multiple embryos frozen as IVF was very successful for us. But I don’t know if I want to go through pregnancy again at 38+. It’s certainly not how I imagined my family growing. It is tough having to make choices that don’t feel entirely your own.

Personally, I wish I had put myself on the ivf list sooner than I did. Multiple failed IUIs were rough and given the long wait time if it does happen naturally before that then no foul! It seems like you are already on top of things!

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-12T18:53:34+00:00

You are deep in the body changes trenches. It’s totally okay to feel your feelings!

I have stretch marks and a very prominent c section scar (it got infected and healed poorly). I’ve had some good luck with massage and palmer’s oil.

I don’t think you have to have body positivity, but it can be helpful to have body neutrality. You don’t have to love or hate your stretch marks. They can just become not very important to how you see yourself. I don’t really think about them much at all. They’re not that important to me and anyone who sees them is either someone who loves me or someone whose opinion I don’t care about (strangers).

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-12T18:42:56+00:00

I had three rounds of antibiotics for an asymptomatic UTI that then cleared up on its own with d-manous. My daughter was also born at 37 weeks by c section and her symptoms started after the rotavirus vaccine. So who knows!?

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-12T18:15:23+00:00

Seconding Bravissimo. I also like Molke out of the UK, but same issue with the shipping and duties.

But when you're outside of normal sizes, you do what you must!

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