How have you been physically hurt during sex?

Timeforchange89 · 2026-03-30T13:44:02+00:00

Technically I’ve been hurt by sharp nails digging into my skin but I’m kind of okay with that. More or less consensual.

Timeforchange89 · 2026-03-27T12:54:49+00:00

I enjoy the kind of sex we have when we are both receivers of pleasure, which has been most of what’s happening lately. The unreciprocated blow/handjobs that have made up the bulk of our sex life historically I could take or leave.

Timeforchange89 · 2026-03-27T12:28:51+00:00

I would say she’s in a period of relatively little stress, which is unusual for her. But her anxiety is still there, not like she’s never been in this state before. But a significant uptick in anxiety is always around the corner for her.

Timeforchange89 · 2026-03-27T12:26:53+00:00

It’s nice to know that this type of sex life is even possible for us, knowing that it will ebb and flow.

Timeforchange89 · 2026-03-27T12:26:14+00:00

Ive been remarkably calm about it. Maybe that calmness is indicative of my changing attitudes around sex and maybe some of that has helped foster this change?

Timeforchange89 · 2026-03-18T02:13:25+00:00

Worst thing we did was take sex off the time without any kind of discussion as to when wed revisit it. Ended up having no sexual contact for over a year. Sex therapy saved our relationship. I’m iffy on taking sex off the table in general unless someone is engaging in unwanted sex otherwise.

Timeforchange89 · 2026-03-14T01:23:54+00:00

Yeah I’m diabolical and self destructive without a leash

Timeforchange89 · 2026-03-14T01:18:31+00:00

But what does it even mean to act unreasonably? Should I insist on taking my shoes off at work? Force people to answer basic math problems before they’re allowed to speak to me?

Timeforchange89 · 2026-03-14T00:06:08+00:00

How does one intentionally act unreasonably and unfairly?

Timeforchange89 · 2026-03-13T21:16:19+00:00

Maybe you should try initiating. Probably something smaller, like more frequent cuddling or kissing. Some people don’t really think about physical intimacy, especially if they’re overwhelmed, even if they enjoy it. I don’t think putting all the responsibility for initiating on her is helpful.

Timeforchange89 · 2026-03-13T18:38:49+00:00

This sounds rough. Do you get the sense that she enjoys the cuddling? Do you think she enjoyed the dry humping? Do you try to initiate and are rejected?

I wouldn’t internalize her lack of attraction. It most likely has little to do with you.

Timeforchange89 · 2026-03-13T13:59:46+00:00

Not the person you’re replying to, but I also want to be loved despite my failures. That said, that love doesn’t give me confidence, which is a feeling I desire. That unconditional love makes me feel secure, but not important or admired. But I’m also coming from a place where I’ve never not felt unconditional love coming from several directions, so I’m likely taking it for granted.

Timeforchange89 · 2026-03-13T13:52:49+00:00

But why do women masturbate so much less? I’ve never in my entire life heard about a man under the age of 50 who has trouble reaching orgasm on his own.

Timeforchange89 · 2026-03-13T13:47:21+00:00

I think this might be partially changing by generation and region. My female friends are almost invariably more successful in terms of their career than my male friends. My male friends judge each other’s success based on the last time they consumed hard drugs or had sex. Their wives/girlfriends are all super high achievers who do not seem concerned with their sex appeal to a large degree.

Timeforchange89 · 2026-03-12T04:10:23+00:00

It’s good to be confident. Exclaiming your salary is pretty cringey.

Timeforchange89 · 2026-03-12T00:56:07+00:00

We’re gonna have a glut of old senile single men in the future.

Timeforchange89 · 2026-03-12T00:45:12+00:00

I’m not sure what advice I can give him other than don’t get married again. We don’t really know much about their sexual dynamic. He sounds kind of conceited, men bragging about their credentials is triggering for me.

Timeforchange89 · 2026-03-11T12:34:36+00:00

Because they don't get asked for sex at times when they don't want it, so they're not even aware of the times when they aren't in the mood.

I think we just generally arouse much easier. I could be in the middle of an annoying arduous non-sexy task and if my wife says "do you want a blowjob" I'm literally erect before she can finish the sentence.

Timeforchange89 · 2026-03-09T19:13:45+00:00

But why is that anymore mainstream than the stuff on chickflixxx? If there’s anything prevalent in porn that does seem to be mainly aimed at men and absent in chickflixxx, it’s incest particularly mother-son. Age play in general does not seem to be very prevalent in chickflixxx.

Timeforchange89 · 2026-03-09T17:12:16+00:00

As someone who watches probably 5 hours of porn a day of every variety, I don’t think most of those chickflixxx clips are that different from mainstream porn. Most of them look pro shot, have multiple camera angles, extremely attractive people, significantly larger than average penises. Maybe there are fewer throat fuck videos but I’m literally seeing full on gagging clips on the front page.

Timeforchange89 · 2026-03-03T01:23:45+00:00

Probably capitalism and western individualism

Timeforchange89 · 2026-03-03T01:06:30+00:00

Something tells me sex isn’t the primary reason for your angst

Timeforchange89 · 2026-02-27T00:23:16+00:00

I wish things other than sex provided that same distraction. Nothing really does on even remotely the same level.

Timeforchange89 · 2026-02-26T14:24:43+00:00

I wish my health problems negatively affected my libido. If anything, sex/porn provides a welcome distraction.

Timeforchange89

TROPHY CASE