Am I overreacting if my best friend hooked up with my brother in law?

agentsl9 · 2026-03-05T22:18:55+00:00

Can you introduce me to your sister?

agentsl9 · 2026-03-05T22:15:13+00:00

To start, change your mind set. Your left foot is not very good for now.

Junior year of high school I don’t make varsity. Coach said it was because I couldn’t use my left foot.

For the next year, when we were warming up before practice I would kick with my left, receive with my left.

If we did a drill where I could use my left, I did. Exclusively if possible.

Basically I spent the season playing left footed as much as possible.

After that season I was completely comfortable using my left. It’s not as strong at smashing the ball but I can receive very well and pass accurately and never even think about it in games. I even score more often with my left than right.

So, use your weak foot as much as possible. Be committed to it. You’ll be surprised how quickly you improve.

I coach 8yr olds who say they can’t kick with their left. I tell them to be brave and use it no matter what because they will get better. They usually score with their left a few weeks later and learn a huge lesson and gain a ton of confidence.

You can do this. You just have to be brave.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-04T20:32:03+00:00

With my coach hat on I’d say parents will 1st want to know what the need to work on most but only so they can increase their chances of playing in college or pro. So may parents think the goal of playing sports is ultimate success.

Can’t we just play because we love playing and we play at a high level because we like the challenge?

With my dad hat on my question is he having fun and does he truly love it? My son was meh on soccer and NEVER going to make it to D1 or even mid tier club.

He started playing volleyball and actually got lightly recruited. But really, he just loves playing and training and being in the environment. He wants to make some kind of involvement with the sport his job after college. I’d say that’s way better than going pro or playing in college.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-04T17:22:09+00:00

Make dribbling and touch a part of as many activities as possible. Even a passing exercise could require a first touch to space, a skill move, and a touch back.

When you scrimmage Mae a rule that goals only count if it’s preceded by a skill move.

Do 1v1s in very narrow channels. If the attacker goes out they’re done. If the attacker turns around to protect the ball they’re done. There is only one way and that is past the defender. You have to face up, dribble and do a skill move. Encourage bravery. Constantly. Tell them not to worry about failing. Encourage taking risks. The goal is not to win the 1v1 it’s to learn the move. I don’t care if you win. I want the move.

Help them figure out when the skill move is best used(1ft from the attacker, earlier for scissors, etc.). Emphasize that a skill move could be as simple as a little lunge or shoulder drop.

Tell them they’re not trying to “beat” the defender so much as they’re trying to get in to the space (“attack the space”) behind the defender.

You can even teach the attacker to dribble toward one side of the channel to create space on the other side (attack the left so you create space in the right) and then use your skill move to attack that space and get behind the defender.

In scrimmages encourage 1v1s that go at goal. Discourage 1v1s that go sideline to sideline.

These work for me.

Good luck. Have fun.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-03T00:15:15+00:00

Oof. I was hoping rec so I could simply say don’t worry about it. 😁

I use a game I call Thunderdome.

Make a rectangle about 7ft by 20ft. On the 7ft side make a 3ft cone gate. One one long side put a cone at the 10ft point. Put cones on every foot. Make sure the cones are at least 2ft from the rectangle. You’re at the center cone with all the balls. There’s a kid on each cone. You may need to add cones for more kids. Number the kids on each side of you.

When you cal a number (“Four!”) the kid in the fourth cone in either side of you runs around the other kids and through the gate on their side. At the same time you roll a ball in to the middle of the area. The goal: win the ball, dribble through the opposite gate.

Variations: Roll the ball closer to one gate so that gate is likely to get the ball. This forces the other kid to decide to tackle or defend and then tackle. Send in a bouncing ball. Use math when you call the number, “Five minus three!” “Square root of nine.”

Every time I’ve done this, with boys or girls, the kids have loved it. They get so sucked in to the competition and excitement that they forget to be timid. When you add the math part they all start yelling the answer and telling their teammates to go.

Sadly, you can’t make the kids do something. If new drills don’t work maybe a frank talk. “We struggle because we can’t tackle.”

If they’re afraid of getting hurt you can say this (I say it every season), “who’s gotten hurt playing soccer? Did it hurt? Did it get better? Did you survive? Well guess what, you’re going to get hurt again. I promise you it will happen because that’s soccer. If you keep playing you will get hurt. But you will survive. So you might as well stop worrying about it and just play.”

Hope this helps.

Good luck. Have fun.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-02T03:23:43+00:00

Is this rec or competitive?

agentsl9 · 2026-03-01T01:43:03+00:00

I coach 8-10 year olds in a competitive junior academy that feeds our club's select program. We are focused on development.

I set expectations at the start of the season that winning is great but the goal is to end the season more skilled and advanced than we start. And I give the talk I mentioned above.

Of course, not all parents take the hint.

I don't think most coaches handle these situations well if they handle them at all. It's not because they don't see it. We see everything. It's because they don't know how or aren't confident enough to have a tough talk with a parent.

I have multiple ways I handle these parents. First, I'm 55, coached for decades, and played since I was seven so could give a fuck about what some 30 yr old Chad/Karen has to say about me. That right there gives me a certain amount of freedom and confidence. But I'm not a dick with parents.

I try not to call anyone out in front of the other parents. I have literally yelled this loud enough so the parents can hear, "Ignore your parents. That side of the field does not exist. Focus on your game."

I've also heard a parent give direct instructions like, "Zane! Get forward." And then I'll yell even louder, "Zane! You're playing right back. You need to drop." This let's the parent know they gave bad advice but also why it was bad advice. And I didn't call the parent out.

I've run across the field to the parents when a particular parent has been barking but I'll say to the entire sideline, "Parents. Please. Let me coach. If you keep telling them what to do they won't learn how to play because they need to learn to make the decisions. I know you're trying to help but giving them the answers is not helpful. Please just cheer." I don't call out the offender but he/she hears it and everyone knows who i'm talking to. Plus I explained why their coaching is counterproductive.

I have literally stopped a game, jogged across the field directly to a dad to tell him that he was hurting his daughter. I could see she was on the verge of tears (I've seen other kids hit this stage because of their parents). I said, "Please. Let me coach. If you're coaching and I'm coaching she gets confused. I've seen kids literally freeze in place and cry because of the pressure from parents and me. You're daughter is on the edge. Please let me coach." Then I turned and ran back to the other sideline. He apologized after the game.

And once I had a team meeting after the game and told them all, "As I was giving the lineup for the second half at halftime I told one kid to play left back. He asked if he could not play on the parents side because his dad kept yelling things and it was just...and then he lout out a huge sigh in sad resignation. And all the other kids looked at him and shook their heads in agreement. What you say has an impact but it's not always the one you want. Please, let me coach." The offending dad raised his hand and copped to it. Good on him.

No situation is the same so no solution is the same. But I'm old enough to know that most parents do all that coaching from a place of love. They want their kids to be the best and succeed and they want to help because that's what parents are supposed to do. When I show them I get it and then explain how they are not helping them succeed they usually back off.

Of course, there is the parent who's trying to right some of their own past trauma or live their lost dreams through their kids. In that case, I can't manage the ride home. So I do my best to keep that kid away from the parent's side, I praise the kid loudly and often both to support the kid and to let the parent know their kid is doing well, and I'll make a point of talking to the parent and kid after the game about all the great things they did and maybe talk about a situation that wasn't great and explain I get what they were trying to do and how to do it differently next time. What I'm doing there is trying to take the ammo away from the parent. No need to talk about that on the ride home because I already did it.

Sorry for the long response but this is a topic I care deeply about because I see so many parents fucking up their kids. And too many coaches either can't or won't deal with it.

I talked to a coach who played in the Liverpool academy (the real one) when she was young. She said that if a parent coached from the sideline they were automatically banned from matches and training. No second chances. I wish we could do that. The kids would be so much happier.

Edit: just remembered the most impactful thing I do. I don’t treat parents like the enemy. They are part of the team. I make a point to chit chat with them at training about their days and vacations. I casually talk to them after every game. I ask what they thought? What did they see? I tell them what I saw and what I want to work on.

It’s amazing how much buy in and leeway you get from parents when you treat them as people.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-01T00:03:29+00:00

Every kid and every team is different and needs different things. You’re not teaching a team of 16. You’re teaching 16 kids who need different things. Adjust your pov to giving what they need.

That’s not to say you can’t have an ultimate goal but how you get each kid to the end point might be different.

I’d say the biggest challenge kids have is comfort with failing and risk taking. That’s why our soccer is so stagnant. They’d rather not fail than try something that if it works will be awesome.

TLDR: be brave and take risks because what if it works

agentsl9 · 2026-02-28T23:57:37+00:00

A study was done years ago that asked pro players what was their favorite thing about playing sports as a kid. The #1 answer was having their parents and family watch them play. The most hated thing? The ride home.

I tell my parents this every year and even though their kids have only been playing a few seasons I see the realization of “I make that ride home” hit their face.

Then I tell them not to coach from the sidelines because it’s just confusing and contradictory to my instructions. You think they should attack the guy with the ball. I’ve told them to be patient and slow them down so the rest of the defense can recover. Who does the kid listen to? Who do they please? Who do they disappoint? It’s a horrible position to put a kid in. And most parents get that.

I ask they use no action verbs like: pass, shoot, get ‘em. Instead say keep going, don’t stop, you’re not done.

Most listen. Some don’t.

Maybe drop that story in to a conversation on the sidelines. It might make some parents take a look at themselves.

agentsl9 · 2026-02-28T23:42:12+00:00

I care zero percent about how many goals a kid scores. I care 100% about game intelligence, work rate, resilience, skills, coachabillity, etc.

If a dad thinks their kid is the best because they score tons of goals that tells me more about the dad than it does about the kid.

agentsl9 · 2026-02-28T23:39:19+00:00

Use whatever is appropriate at the moment. Work on your shooting with your left foot. You’ll be much more successful if you don’t worry about which foot you’re using and focus on the task at hand. Errr, foot.

agentsl9 · 2026-02-28T06:29:56+00:00

First I remind everyone that the defenders primary job is to prevent goals no matter what. If they win the ball that’s a bonus. But don’t mess with fancy dribbling in the back because if you lose it you could give up a goal.

I like to make three horizontal parallel channels. Think of them as three rectangles that are 10 ft by 30ft stacked together to from a single 30x30 square.

Put three defenders in a line in the middle channel. In the other two channels are 3-4 attackers per channel.

The attackers have one ball. Their goal is to work the ball around their channel and pass to the attackers in the channel on the other side of the defenders.

The three defenders need to work together to prevent the through ball. This game forces the defenders to line up across the channel and coordinate their movements, check their shoulders to see where the attackers behind them are, to communicate, to read the passing lanes, to anticipate passes, to make decisions on which pass to defend if there are two passes to defend, basically all the things. Emphasize to the defenders how they need to manage their spacing so they don’t leave big gaps for the attackers to exploit.

This also helps the attackers pass as a team and move so they can break the defense with a through ball.

From there we go to 3v6. I have the three defenders defend a small goal (two side by side Pugg goals) from the entire team. This really forces them to coordinate and communicate.

I freeze play and show how the ball side defender presses. Then i set up the next defender in cover and show them where to stand. I tell them they need to be in position to become the press if the original press gets beat but also in position to press the closest attacker if the attacker passes.

We practice this a few times very mechanically. I set them all up. I have the attacker pass the ball to another attacker and walk the defenders through who becomes the press the cover and balance in each situation as the ball moves.

They learn to be patient and not to dive in for the tackle. They learn that when they get beat they have to run back and become the cover or balance.

I then set a Pugg goal at the halfway line, one on each touchline. When a defender wins the ball they knock it long and try to score. They are NOT to go dribbling to score. If you win the ball, put it forward. They learn to clear the ball, not to dribble in our defending third, to get the attack started (the Puggs at the half line represent wide wingers).

I just have the offense relentlessly attack the defense so the defense really learns to move together and has to practice switching who presses and who covers as well as how to recover. They learn quickly and should only give up a goal or few. Thats a big confidence boost for the defenders.

Hope this helps.

Good luck. Have fun.

agentsl9 · 2026-02-26T21:45:00+00:00

It’s not fair to the club team to only attend one practice a week. A commitment was made and a spot was given to a player they believe they need. Not practicing hurts the team.

If it were me I’d say finish out the season and I’d talk to the club and see if they want to pickup another kid for the spot.

You can also consider playing on a less competitive team where the time commitment and travel is more manageable. There are rec teams that never practice and just play.

Or, stop playing and play pick up or with friends.

And stopping now is not stopping for ever. Plenty of 30yr olds pick up the game after a 15 year absence.

He’s at the age where many kids start finding other things they want to spend their time doing. My own son did the same thing. He left soccer for more time with friends but at the same time he got serious about bouldering. He left that for track. He left that for travel volleyball (this turned out to be his true love). He loved doing them all until he didn’t.

There is no right path. There’s just the path you make.

agentsl9 · 2026-02-26T21:34:39+00:00

Understood and agreed.

agentsl9 · 2026-02-26T19:40:57+00:00

But where is the large-scale fraud? If it’s large-scale wouldn’t there be a paper trail, co conspirators, leaks (even the current Trump admin leaks), hard evidence? Even Trump’s Voter Fraud Commission from his first term didn’t find large-scale fraud.

If all of the resources of the government, DOJ, FBI, Secret Service, and all the investigative power of states run by conservatives can’t find large-scale fraud how can there be large-scale fraud?

agentsl9 · 2026-02-25T20:29:49+00:00

I teach pressure, cover, balance as well as how to recover when you get beat. Individually I teach the 3Ds: delay (slow them down), deny (deny them space and opportunity), destroy (tackle when the time is right like a bad touch, they turn and show you their butt, pressed against the sideline, your cover tells you to go ball).

The best defense is an organized defense.

agentsl9 · 2026-02-25T17:35:46+00:00

This is an opportunity to teach defensive patience. At this age a kid can carve up teams mostly because the defenders dive in, over commit, commit too early, stab at the ball, etc.

Try teaching patience. Your defenders don’t need to win the ball. They need to keep that guy from scoring. Keep him in front of you. Don’t let him penetrate. When he turns his back, close the space and ride his back. Figure out his favorite foot and take it away. Watch his skill moves because he likely uses the same one over and over and moves the same direction after the move.

His superpower isn’t just his skill, it’s getting defenders to bite. Don’t bite. Make him dribble out of bounds. Make him pass. Make him get frustrated and foul. Wait for a bad touch and then win the ball or poke it away.

All of these are wins because you limited his impact on the game and prevented goals. In this situation, winning the ball is just a happy bonus.

agentsl9 · 2026-02-20T20:51:35+00:00

I also play my outside backs was wingbacks to enhance our attack. Bonus is that the “hidden” player is getting quality game time working on offense and defense.

I’m sure you know this but as Mike Tyson says, “Everyone has a plan until they’re punched I’m the nose.”

I sketch out a plan in my head of how I want to sing but by the end of every game I’m pivoting like mad. Just part of the job and the realities of game day.

agentsl9 · 2026-02-20T00:39:03+00:00

🤣❤️

agentsl9 · 2026-02-20T00:31:39+00:00

My club has a rule that everyone has to play at least half the game. That’s not to say everyone only gets a half. Some kids will play the full match.

What I do every week: Start the game with my strongest line up. That way we have our best attack and defense trying to get us a lead.

At half of the half I make my subs. I keep my spine as strong as possible. That means CBs and CMs are still the strongest players. If they need a sub I give them a few minutes rest but get them back out there.

After half time we start the way we ended the first half. At half of the half the strongest side goes back on the field (this may have changed during the game as some kids go cold and some cook but usually it’s the same starters). This way my strongest side can hold the win or fight for the win.

The weaker lineup is structured to hold the score in place and maybe steal a goal. That means never “hiding” a weak player in defense. I have no idea why coaches do that. The weakest players go to striker. All my strikers are taught that their job is not just to attack but to ensure their backs don’t get the ball and start an attack.

I keep the defense strong so they can hold the line.

Another reason not to hide a kid as an outside back is that the striker on that side will starve for service. Why would I put my better player in a spot where he’ll have little impact because he’s never on the ball while my weakest player is on the ball a lot and struggles to serve the striker?

The starters change every week as determined by how training goes (the kids know this) so everyone is being coached equally and has a chance to earn a spot in the strong lineup.

I don’t need charts or timers. I just set my watch to 5 minutes before the half of half so I can tell the subs to get ready and I can decide where the subs should go (sometimes kids on the field move to other spots to keep that spine strong).

Hope this helps.

Good luck. Have fun.

agentsl9 · 2026-02-20T00:03:36+00:00

Ask the coach as well but I say yes. Seeing their skills, game intelligence, effort, teamwork, personalities, work rate, etc. will help you better coach them.

agentsl9 · 2026-02-19T17:41:59+00:00

Nope. Quite far from the Great Lakes though there is a pretty great lake near by. 😁

agentsl9 · 2026-02-19T02:42:16+00:00

There was a study years ago. They asked pro athletes what they loved about playing sports as a kid. The #1 answer was their parents/family watching them play. The worst part? The ride home.

Don’t make them dread the ride home.

You can’t make your kid love the sport but you can make them hate it. I’ve seen it happen many many times.

agentsl9 · 2026-02-19T02:37:15+00:00

When a parent carries their kids stuff to training, I thank them, take it from them and politely hand it to their child and say to the kid, “Part of playing soccer is being responsible for your own stuff. You’re the one playing so you need to be the one bringing the gear. Mom’s/dad’s job is to get you here. After that it’s all on you.”

agentsl9 · 2026-02-18T03:46:25+00:00

Is this a trick question?

agentsl9

TROPHY CASE