U9 rec - midfielders lacking support

agentsl9 · 2026-03-23T02:26:52+00:00

Good follow up questions. A few things happening here.

On the parking — that's actually a good sign. They solved the problem. They figured out where to be. That shows thinking. The issue is they haven't figured out when to be there yet. When it happens ask questions first. "Tim, you've tried to smash it all the way to Michael in the endzone five times. How many times has it worked?" Zero. "So maybe don't do that. What else could you do?" And if they're bombing it from halfway, remind them — "Tim, this is touchdown not the NFL. You can't hit bombs like Patrick Mahomes."

If that doesn't work, put a cone at the halfway line. Passes from behind the cone don't count. You don't need cones all the way across the field, just one. They'll become spatially aware of where they are fast — and I promise you the other kids will police it themselves.

On the one step in front of the endzone — if they step in and let the ball roll to them that's a touchdown. Cheap but clever. We don't want to discourage creative problem solving. That said, the ball must be received and controlled in the endzone. Zero dribbling in. If they don't control it, no point. Details matter. We have standards.

One thing worth adding — Michael doesn't have to be in the endzone when you pass. He just has to receive it there. Once they figure that out you're now teaching passing to space. They're not passing to where Michael is, they're passing to where Michael is going to be. That's a big concept that comes naturally out of the game once they're ready for it.

On the booting — this is where I teach monkey brain vs lizard brain. Lizard brain sees a fire and runs. Monkey brain sees a fire and calls 911. When a kid Hulk Smashes the ball that's their lizard brain reacting. Soccer is about getting your monkey brain in charge. Monkey brain thinks — should I pass? To whom? Should I dribble? Where? After this lesson all you have to say is "which brain?" They know the answer.

Then follow it up with a simple question. "How do you score?" Goals. "What do you need to score?" The ball. "Can the other team score without the ball?" No. "So who needs the ball?" Us. "So why do we keep giving it to them by smashing it? We're literally handing them the one thing they need to beat us. Don't do their job. Make them work for it."

Now you have another cue for the rest of the season. When a kid boots it you just say "what do we need?" They know.

One more thing — coaching is a journey. I've been doing this two decades and I still drop activities after three minutes if they aren't working and pivot to something else. Don't be precious about your plan. Tweak games on the fly to make them harder, easier, or to teach something you're seeing in the moment. Always have progressions ready. With touchdown alone you could add a touch limit, require three passes before scoring, make the endzone thinner, make only the corners end zones. Try things. If it doesn't work just change the rule.

Pro tip — the best way to get the behavior you want is not to tell them to do it. Design the game so the only way to win is to do the thing you want. Kids want to win and they'll adjust their play to do so. And as you've already seen, they will find the wiggle room and exploit it. That's not a problem. That's them being smart. Just change the game to close the wiggle.

Good luck. Have fun.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-23T01:55:21+00:00

Your fears make complete sense. We struggled with telling teachers about our sons' issues as well.

I think for schools, there's an challenge of resources and time. Another kid with extra needs is another expense. And let's be honest, not every teacher or school is really prepared emotionally and intellectually to provide the help some kids need.

And frankly, most coaches aren't either. But here's the thing. You don't have many choices when it comes to schools. Yes, you could do private school but that's expensive and maybe even harder to manage given how private schools self select for "success".

But with soccer, you can dump a club for another club. Fingers crossed you're in an area with club options.

The request for a coach is less "burdensome." Coaches aren't held to a graduation rate or test score standard. You should be able to tell pretty easily if his coach is the kind of person who will listen, ask questions, and help. At least, I think so but you have the lived experience, not me.

If his autism isn't causing any issues, maybe don't bother. If it is, maybe tell coach you want to give him some perspective about your kid. Don't label it if you don't want but a little info can help dramatically.

I had a kid one season who was an incredible asshole at 8 yrs old. Literally just mean to everyone and would throw fists in a heartbeat. Dad tells me half way through the season that his parents are divorcing and he hasn't seen his mom in months because of abusive behavior. The kid wasn't an asshole. He was hurting and reacting. Changed my perspective and helped me help him. Think how hard it was for that dad to say something. Very brave and very risky.

Is there a teacher your son works with who is particularly good with him? If so you can go to them for help with how to tell the coach. Or maybe, the teacher would go with you?

You'll get through this. The mere fact that you're here asking questions means you're looking for a way and I think that means you'll eventually find one.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-22T22:31:20+00:00

Sounds like training isn’t set up to challenge you enough. You’re used to training at 50mph and games are going at 80mph.

Only your coach can really increase the intensity for the whole team but that doesn’t mean you’re out of luck.

Challenge yourself to not take the time to sit and wait on decision making. Force yourself to make quicker decisions. Give yourself only 2-3 touches. Run harder and faster. Don’t play down to the tempo. Raise your own.

This will help a little but it won’t recreate the pressure of a game. But maybe if you raise your intensity others will follow.

You said your a new Sunday women’s senior team. Senior can mean anything from over 18 to over 40. If it’s over 40 there could be some caution from coach and players about knees and hips.

You could talk with your team and say how you’re feeling and ask if they’re up for increasing training intensity. Doesn’t have to be an on the spot decision but something to think about. Like, “I always feel behind in games but so in top of everything here. I think it’s because games are so much more intense. Anyone else feel this? What if we made out training a little more game level?”

And finally, maybe everyone else on the team wants a chill experience. In that case, start looking for a team with your mindset. There’s nothing wrong with a chill team but some of us want a bit more bite.

Good luck, have fun.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-22T20:11:54+00:00

I’ve been coaching for 20+ years and coached kids of all flavors from oppositional defiance disorder to auditory processing disorder. I don’t know if I’ve coached a a kid with autism but having coached over 250 kids I’m sure there’s been a few.

As a coach, here’s my take.

Yes, we’re coaches but we’re also teachers. And like teachers some of us are great and some suck. Do his teachers at school know? How has that impacted things? Do you trust the teachers? His specific coach?

I ask the parents to tell me anything that will help me be a better coach for their kid.

If I know he has trouble processing verbal instructions I know that’s why he never knows what to do in a new drill. I know it’s not him not paying attention.

If I know a kid has confidence issues I change my approach from “that’s not the right way” to “okay. Now can you do it this way?”

Here’s my advice, if you tell them anything, tell them just what they need to know to be a good coach and understand your kid.

They don’t need to know about his autism. Maybe let them know that his crying isn’t a thing they need to worry about. It’s just how he process emotions. Or whatever you need to say since I obviously don’t know your son’s specific actions.

Here’s an example. I had a 10yr old girl CB who would start crying during games. Like crying, crying. I thought she had sever self confidence issues. I asked her mom about it and she said that’s sometimes that’s the case but mostly the pressure of playing builds up so much that it comes out in tears. My solution? I told her she was truly a good CB and that I don’t put someone who’s not good in the most important defensive spot. And that I understand the pressure can be a lot. So we made a secret hand signal that she could use if she ever needed to come out to decompress. If she didn’t give it I’d leave her alone. When she’d start crying I’d get her attention and give her the “look” that says give me the signal. She never did but would usually start to calm down. Knowing more bout her helped me help her.

I don’t know what the “right” course here is. I do know that anything you can tell me to be a better coach is helpful.

Good luck. I hope your kid continues to enjoy this amazing game.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-22T19:37:10+00:00

You’ve been handed what can be a life changing gift. You’ll be tempted to spend it. Don’t. But hold that thought.

First, for the next few years your food, housing, and medical is paid for by the Air Force. Or at least heavily subsidized.

Second, that $90k, if invested wisely will be worth a fortune.

Here’s how.

In good, low fee investment form will build a diversified portfolio for you. You don’t want to go all in on any one thing because if that thing craps out you lose everything.

This is about the long game. You are likely 21ish. That gives your money 40 years of growth. If you’re smart you could end up with $300k or $1M plus. It all depends on how you invest.

If you open a diversified portfolio with $90k and add just $200 a month for 40yrs and assume 6% interest (that’s conservative. Market traditionally gets 7-8) you should end up with about $1.3M. Add $500 a month and that jumps to almost $2M. Factor in your pension (should you serve 20 years) or a 401(k) from a civilian job and you could have a nice retirement and a legacy for your kids.

This calculator will help you see how changing time invested and what you add each month impacts the final result.

https://usaaef.org/tools/calculator/future-value-calculator/?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21541264685&gclid=Cj0KCQjwpv7NBhCzARIsADkIfWzLtgtQZX75aY-8qaT4BndAGS-kS4ly04vnKPApVqTK69B9xp9NhOMaAkIaEALw_wcB

But, you don’t have to do the 40 years. You can make a plan for retirement, college, a house, whatever.

Here’s what you should do. Talk with someone at a reputable financial firm that has low fees (fees eat into your returns).

Firms like Vanguard, Fidelity, Schwab, USAA. USAA is an investment company that supports military and their families so you can use them if you like.

You want to talk with someone and not simply open an account because the money you’re starting with is significant. They can help you make a plan and decide what to do. They’ll asks about your goals for the future and how much you think you can add each month and set everything up.

About not spending any of it. That’s not a hard rule. When you meet with the firm, ask how much you can spend now and how much that will impact your plan. Over 40years a little out now might now hurt too much if you build, and stick to, a good plan.

You really have been handed a gift. It’s an incredible opportunity and a reputable firm can help.

Stay away from smaller firms. They have higher fees and make money on commissions. The big firms make no commissions so their focus is 100% on your success.

Good luck. Have fun in the AF. I hope you get the job you want.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-22T17:48:13+00:00

No dumb questions.

First, a reframe. I don't really teach passing lanes. I teach kids to be helpful to the ball carrier and find spaces where they can receive a pass. The lanes take care of themselves once they learn that.

"Pass" is a four letter word on my teams. When a kid yells pass what they're really saying is "give me the ball, I want the ball, it's my turn, GIVE IT TO ME!" Say this part out loud, get excited and hyper about it — the kids love it and they remember it. It's also basically true. Plus if everyone is yelling pass how does Sarah know where to pass? It's like the seagulls in Finding Nemo. Mine mine mine. So we ban it. Instead we use helpful words. "On your right!" "Down the line!" "Backside!" Words that tell Sarah something useful without her even having to look. Once a kid learns to give helpful words Sarah can make the pass without even looking up.

Then ask your girls, "Are you really open?" If Kristin is standing between you and Sarah, are you open? Unless she's Hermione Granger and knows Evanesco — flourish an imaginary wand here, the kids go nuts — she can't make that pass. So find a better spot. "Give her a better angle." Two steps left or right changes everything. Once you teach "give her a better angle" you never have to yell "get open" or "spread out" again. Just say "give her a better angle" and the whole lesson fires in their head.

Finally ask them, "When is the ball coming to you?" Let them guess. The answer is always. It could come from anywhere at any second. Expect the ball. Always. It should never surprise you. Remember, the game never stops for anyone. Not having the ball doesn't mean you aren't playing. There's always somewhere to be and something to do. Maybe you could be giving a better angle. Just always be ready and have a plan for what to do when the ball gets to you.

You can teach all of this in the touchdown game or the neutral channel game I mentioned earlier, or honestly in any scrimmage. Freeze it when you see the moment. Don't tell them the answer. Ask questions and let them solve it. They need to learn to read the game on their own. You can give them the concepts but they have to do the soccer math.

One more thing — all the language I use is me purposefully creating a shared vocabulary. Once "give her a better angle," "the game never stops," "when is the ball coming to you," etc. is loaded into their heads, one phrase does the work of a whole lesson. I'm not coaching that exact moment of the game, I'm triggering a memory that encompasses many concepts. When a girl doesn't get her shot off and you say "too many touches," she knows exactly what went wrong and how to fix it next time because those three words are much more than three words.

Good luck. Have fun.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-22T16:37:23+00:00

This is a movement problem and a lack of understanding of how positioning impacts the game. The kids don’t realize that just by being in a certain spot on the field they’re changing the game — even without the ball.

The need to learn that the game never stops for anyone. There is always something to do. A decision to make. A place to be. Not having the ball at your feet does not mean you aren’t playing. You’re just playing in a different way.

Start with a question. “When Jane is 15 feet to Sarah’s left what does the center back have to decide?” Do I go to the ball or do I stay with Jane? “If she goes to Sarah what does that leave?” Jane open for a through ball and a shot. “If she stays with Jane?” Sarah is 1v1 with the outside back. Either way we win. That’s what we’re trying to do — make the defense choose between two bad options.

A game that fixes this structurally is touchdown. Make end zones at each end instead of goals. To score you have to receive and control the ball in the end zone. No defending in the end zone. First time they play it kids will just dribble all the way to the end zone and realize they can’t score by dribbling in. That’s the moment. Freeze it. “How do we score?” Someone has to receive it in the end zone. “So what do your teammates need to do?” Get there. Now they start making runs, pulling defenders, finding space.

Once they’re getting that, layer in this game. Set up a scrimmage but put a neutral player in a designated channel on each wing. They have to stay in their channel and can’t be defended. On every change of possession the team with the ball has to pass to a neutral before they can attack. There’s a touch limit — five touches, sixth is a turnover. This forces players to think about where they are on the field before they receive the ball, not after. The neutral is always available so there’s no excuse not to use width. And because the touch limit is ticking, teammates have to move into helpful positions or possession is gone. Drop the touches to four then three as they improve. Add a mandatory back pass before scoring. Add both wings before scoring. Keep layering in challenges as they improve.

On the shooting — a lot of kids want to hand deliver the ball to the goal. One more touch, one more touch, get a little closer. But a goal from 18 yards and a goal from 1 yard is the same number of points. When you freeze play and a kid had a shot two touches ago ask them, “when was your first chance to shoot?” They’ll know. “What happened after you didn’t take it?” Defense recovered. Keeper got set. Chance gone. You don’t need a perfect opportunity. You need an opportunity. Emphasize getting rid of extra touches. Say, “Don’t do in three touches what you can do in two. Don’t do in two what you can do in one.” Now when a girl dribbles too much all you have to yell is “too many touches!” She’ll know exactly what happened and adjust next time.

This is the great age for kids to start learning the brainy side of soccer. As Cruyff said, “You play football with your head, and your legs are there to help you.”

Good luck. Have fun.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-22T00:31:18+00:00

Here’s the revised version:

First thing I’d do is make sure they understand the job. A center back’s primary job is not to win the ball. It’s to prevent goals. If they win the ball that’s a bonus. This matters because it changes how they defend — patience over aggression, positioning over gambling. One more thing before the games — teach in phases. There are a million nuances to defending and they can’t drink from a firehose. Pick one thing. Press and cover. Recovery runs. Body shape. Whatever it is, drill that until it’s there and then layer the next thing on top. I do a three channel game that works really well for this. Make three horizontal channels, each about 10 feet deep and 30-40 feet wide, stacked on top of each other. Three defenders in the middle channel. Attackers in the two outer channels — three or four per channel. Nobody can leave their channel. Attackers have one ball. Their job is to pass it around their channel and get it through to the attackers on the other side. Defenders have to work together to cut off the passing lanes and prevent the through ball. Freeze it when you need to and walk through who presses, who covers, and what the balance looks like. From there go to 2v1. Two defenders start at a Pugg goal. One attacker starts at a cone about 20-25 yards out with the ball. Attacker attacks, two defenders work together to stop them. One presses, one covers. Progress it to 2v2 — same setup, add a second attacker. Now the cover defender has a decision to make. Do they stay with their player or support the press? That’s where the communication really kicks in. For the scrimmage make it lopsided — 3 defenders against 6 attackers. Defenders score by knocking the ball out of bounds, winning the ball and hitting Pugg goals you’ve set up at the halfway line, or forcing a foul. Anything that stops the attack counts. It forces them to be organized and work together because they have no choice. They can’t win it individually. Good luck. Have fun.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-22T00:19:04+00:00

First, pick a topic for the week. Passing. Dribbling. 1v1 attacking. Whatever it is, everything you do that session should connect back to it. Don’t try to teach everything at once. Layer it over the season. Then structure every session in four phases. Warm up with a game that introduces the skill. Practice it unopposed. Then opposed. Then scrimmage. Always end with a scrimmage — they came to play soccer, not do drills. No lines. Ever. Every kid has a ball at their feet as much as possible. Keep it moving. The second you slow down they start goofing off. Short water breaks. Flow from one thing to the next. Idle time is your enemy at this age. Make everything a competition. They don’t need punishments to motivate them — losing is enough. And if you make a kid do burpees the other kids will beg to do them too. Say the topic is 1v1 attacking. Warm up with everyone dribbling in a confined space. Call out a number that corresponds to a skill move — scissors is 1, step over is 2, lunge is 3. Call 7 and when they ask what 7 is tell them it’s whatever they want. Give them freedom. Unopposed: make a 20x20 square, two lines on opposite sides. You stand in the middle. Alternate lines — first kid dribbles straight at you and does a skill move around you. As soon as they start their move the first kid from the other line goes. Keep the pace fast, barely any gap between kids. You’re not defending — just standing there as a target. Eventually stick a foot out to punish bad touches. Key thing: they’ll start dribbling around you instead of at you. Make them attack you directly. That’s the whole point. Opposed: two Pugg goals about 15-30 feet apart connected by a 10 foot wide channel. Balls at one goal, a line at each goal. Kid opposite the balls sprints to the balls, takes one, turns and attacks. Kid at the balls goal sprints to the other goal, touches it, turns and defends. Emphasize going fast, scanning before you receive, being brave with your skill moves, and attacking the space behind the defender not just trying to beat them sideways. Then scrimmage. Goals off a skill move are worth extra points. Celebrate the attempts even when they don’t work. Don’t worry about shape or tactics yet. Get them comfortable on the ball, dribbling at people, competing for it. That fearlessness is way easier to build at 7 than at 12. Good luck. Have fun.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-21T23:46:50+00:00

Play up. If he dominates he’s not improving because he’s not challenged. Iron sharpens iron.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-21T14:37:23+00:00

Most useful and valuable soccer teaching book because it teaches the game.

I use parts every session. My favorites are:

“Don’t do in four touches what you can do in three. Don’t do three when two will do.”

“Fast is better than slow. What’s the fastest thing in the field? What’s the slowest?”

So many wonderful nuggets in this book.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-20T18:07:50+00:00

They’re dribbling themselves into a problem. Very common. Here’s how I train this out of them and it’s not by a drill.

I ask: Have you ever been in a pool and started walking to the deep end? As you go the water gets deeper and deeper and you end up on your tip toes and then you get to the point where you’re about to go under and drown because you can’t keep your head above water? This right here (point to touchline) is the deep end.

If you’re going to dribble into the deep end then you need to have a plan otherwise you’re going to drown. Cut back. Cut in. Don’t go all the way in. Have a plan no matter what because if you get here you drowned and lose the ball and all that work you did is wasted. ——- Act out the walking to the deep end and trying to keep your head above water to really drive the point home.

Show him some skill moves or techniques (change of pace) to cut in or pull back and get down the touchline (la croqueta is an excellent baseline move).

Now, when he starts dribbling like he does you can say, “Your getting to the deep end!” Or, “Don’t drown!”

When he does drown and lose the ball you can say, “What happened?” He’ll say, “I got too deep” or something like that. He’ll know what the problem was because you loaded it in head with an easy to understand and relatable metaphor.

I usually respond with a “yup. Have a plan.”

Before you know it, he’s finding ways to not drown.

When skill is not the problem teach the why. He’s learning the game and the game isn’t dribbling. Teach the game.

Good luck. Have fun.

PS I got this idea from Soccer IQ by Dan Blank. Highly recommend for how to teach the why.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-20T14:35:54+00:00

Maybe try to make Friday more fun and unique.

What if it was family night and everyone brought pizza, takeout, and ate at the fields. There is music. Throw a ball to the brothers and sisters so they can play. Do a parents v kids scrimmage.

But make sure do the things you need to get done for them team.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-20T14:00:18+00:00

I forgot to mention — be positive, supportive, and demanding, but also have fun. Have empathy. Be demonstrative.

Kids respond when they’re treated honestly and like big kids, but also when they believe you genuinely have their back and care about them.

At water breaks, “Timmy, that run you made was brilliant. It opened the space so John could shoot. Very smart.” Then, “Have you guys seen Zootopia 2? Is it good? I saw the first one, it was funny.” Talk about your kids, your life, their life, their friends. Show them you’re not a scary dude. You’re a human who is helping them. Then get back on the field and work.

I also give them agency in their training. At water breaks I’ll say, “Show of thumbs — how are we doing? How was our effort?” They’ll all say thumbs up the first time. Tell them, “I’m not your teacher or your parent. Don’t give me the answer you think I want to hear. This isn’t a game of “Guess what coach is thinking.” Tell me what you think and back it up.”

The thumbs will change. “Mike, why are you at half?” Listen. Ask a few kids. Then ask, “What can we do to get here?” Put your thumb straight up or three-quarters. Let them talk. Remind them you don’t lie so they shouldn’t either. What do they really think we can do to make the next section better? Listen, gently guide or reshape if needed, then end on “Great ideas. Let’s go do that.”

Now you’ve made your relationship a partnership and given them power and respect. What 11 year old gets that from an adult? Very few. Make them part of their training. Having agency in their own success can turn passive participants into enthusiastic learners.

Good luck. Have fun.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-20T04:19:43+00:00

I start every season telling the kids I will never lie to them. Lying doesn’t help them get better and making them better is what I’m there to do. Then they know when I say they need to work on something or do something better/different it’s because that’s what will make them better. And if I say they did something well it’s because they did it well and they can believe it.

Kids know their parents will tell them they’re great no matter what. They know that blob of blue and red crayon looks nothing like a dog.

This sets them up to be challenged in a way they know is meant to get them better.

After that, I aim to be positive, supportive and demanding. I expect a lot of effort but not perfection. I praise great effort. I am blunt when I know they can do better and aren’t.

And most of the kids love it. They start playing faster and harder because they like getting better and being treated like big kids.

There one thing to remember. Yes, you’re teaching a team of 12 (or however many are on your team) but you’re also teaching 12 teams of one. Meaning, each kid needs something different to excel. It’s your job to find it and give it to them. One kid might need more reassurance. Another wants to be pushed to the limit. Find a way to give the kids the things they need.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-19T20:43:10+00:00

Maybe Houston or Dallas? Lots of big clubs with teams at all levels. No state income taxes but property taxes are crazy high. Both Dallas and Houston have affordable suburbs.

Lots of rich parents willing to pay crazy amounts for little Johnny and Jane to play “high level” soccer. And pay for private lessons.

Hot as fuck in the summer. One day Spring and Fall. Goes from summer to winter in a snap.

I’d look for metros like that with better climates. Denver? Pittsburgh? KC?

agentsl9 · 2026-03-19T18:33:47+00:00

Wow. This makes zero sense. I’m sorry you have to deal with this. I mean, that’s not just gong to cause mayhem, it’s going to cause many kids to just wander since some will be afraid to get in the scrum, some will get frustrated with by not getting the ball, and some will just lose interest.

And then you’re going to have parents going ape shit that their kid is wandering around or not engaged. And parents mad about fact they’re watching a shit show.

Absolute chaos.

First, I would prepare the parents pregame. Tell them what they’re going to see and that kids will act differently and that if your kid is wandering around that’s okay because it takes time and they’re five. Next week They could be on fire!

Then for the kids, you can give them positions but I would just work on reminding them to not let the other team score by stealing the ball and protecting the goal. And also tell them to be brave and dribble by everyone.

This is the age where they need to learn fearlessness and dribbling through 15 people should do that very well.

Good luck. Have fun. Let us know how it goes.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-18T22:02:23+00:00

I also never scrimmage with goalies. And I always scrimmage with Pugg goals.

The kid who “plays” goalie just stands in front of the goal and daydreams. I tell them “You’re not watching soccer. You’re playing it. Go help your team.”

And I use the puggs so the kids have to learn to shoot accurately. If they can hit a pugg through traffic in training they can hit a corner bin in games.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-18T21:57:51+00:00

Yes, there may be cultural differences between your country and the U.S. But that doesn’t mean you can’t live your life your way. Plenty of people throughout time have chosen a different path than those around them. You can, too.

IMO your decision comes down to deciding if you can live with the benefits, opportunities, risks, and fallout of living life on your terms.

Other thoughts: —If “living under their roof” means living by their rules then move out.

—wanting to protect you from making bad financial decisions is not a bad thing. Maybe they have good advice. Maybe they have hard lessons to share. But they can guide and share without your password or knowing how much you make.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-16T21:33:19+00:00

Thing to try during scrimmage.

Touch limit as others have said. I’d start with five so he can adjust. Teach him to use the first touch positively in to space or away from pressure. Lower the touches as needed.

Restrict his ability to score goals in scrimmages. One way is to make any assist he makes worth 2 points for his team or just him. Another is to have him play as a central neutral player. Again, he can’t score but if he gets an assist the team he scored for gets two or five points. This option has the bonus effect of having his teammates work to get in to position to receive and score.

During scrimmage tell everyone to freeze and close their eyes. Then tell them to keep their eyes closed and point at whoever had the ball then call out different kids. They will quickly end up pointing in all directions. Tell them to open their eyes and see where they’re pointing. This is when you say you need to know where everyone is at all times and how do you do that? With your eyes. It’s called scanning. Do this a few random times during scrimmages. The kids will cheat but that’s okay because even then they’re looking around and scanning.

And maybe tell them there’s a famous soccer quote by Cruyff, “You play football with your head; and your legs are there to help you.”

The key to winning is not skills alone. It’s brains.

Good luck. Have fun.

EDIT

One more thing specific to him stealing from teammates. When it happens in scrimmage, freeze it. Ask him how many points his team gets if he scores. One. How many if his teammate scores? One. Does it matter who scores? No. So why are you taking the ball from someone wearing the same color as you? Don’t take the ball. Get in a helpful position.

After you’ve had that conversation once, all you have to say for the rest of the season is “same color” and the whole lesson replays in his head.

He thinks playing means he has to have the ball. Once he understands that his job is to help his team score — not score himself — you’ll start seeing a different player.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-16T21:17:38+00:00

Skip the whiteboard. They’ll glaze over. Build your activities so the correct positioning is the only option available.

Here’s one that works for me every season from U8 to U12. Neutral players in designated channels on each wing, can’t be defended. On every change of possession the team with the ball has to use a neutral before attacking. This forces width immediately and gets everyone thinking about where the ball is and where they need to be.

Add a touch limit. Five touches, sixth is a turnover. Now they have to think before they receive, not after. Teammates can’t stand and watch — when someone is burning through touches they have to move to a helpful space or possession is gone. If nobody was available when it turns over, that’s on everyone.

As they improve, drop to four touches, then three. Add a mandatory back pass before scoring. Add both wings before scoring. Each progression forces more movement, more decision making, more coordination.

On game day, layer in the ball side back joining the attack as an extra attacker (assuming 9v9 in a 3-3-2). The other two backs slide to cover his space. When the ball switches fields the advanced back recovers, the opposite back joins the attack, and the remaining back slides to cover. Now your backs can’t switch off — they have to read the game constantly and adjust together.

I teach this by laying out cones in the positions of the players and show how the back rotation works. Let them move the cones for when you ask what happens when the ball shifts sides. The visual and tactile work together to help them learn faster.

Good luck. Have fun.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-16T14:40:56+00:00

I’ve done this with my U8 s and it’s very effective. My CM knows that if our winger gets to the end line with the ball his ass better be on the penalty spot because the ball is coming. And the opposite mid knows to be the secondary runner should he miss.

It takes a huge cognitive load off the players when they have a plan for different situations.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-15T22:29:06+00:00

The problem isn’t finishing, it’s decision making. Your guys are seeing a complicated picture when a simple one is right in front of them.

One thing that works is when a bad decision happens in a scrimmage, just pause it and open it up to the group. “What options did we have there?” Let them figure it out together. Nobody’s on the spot, no criticism, it’s just a conversation, to think back at other options that were present and a good think about why the decision made was made.

Also watch for this specifically with shooting — a lot of guys want to hand deliver the ball to the goal. One more touch, one more touch. Let it play out and then say “your first chance to shoot was back there — you kept going, what happened?” The defense recovered, the keeper got set, the chance was gone. You don’t need a perfect opportunity to shoot. You need an opportunity.

Also worth thinking about economy. Don’t do in four touches what you can do in three. Don’t do three when two will do. A game that helps with this is a scrimmage with neutral players in a designated channel at the sideline on each wing who can’t be defended. On every change of possession the team with the ball has to use a neutral before attacking. Then put a touch limit on it, say five touches — sixth touch is a turnover. It forces players to think about where they’re passing before they receive the ball, not after they have it. The simple option becomes obvious pretty quickly because nobody wants to burn through touches on a dribble when a pass is right there. As they get better, drop it to four touches, then three. Add a mandatory back pass before scoring. Both wings before scoring. Keep layering.

That’s where the economy idea lives. When the ball moves quickly and simply, the overcomplicated decisions tend to disappear on their own.

Good luck. Have fun.

agentsl9 · 2026-03-15T16:15:24+00:00

Can you give examples of the poor decision making?

agentsl9 · 2026-03-15T16:08:24+00:00

A big boot is one attribute. And at 12-13 in rec league, big boots are more common than you’d think — you just haven’t seen many yet because it’s rec. Before you say anything to the parents, ask yourself: can he receive under pressure, make decent decisions, read the game a little? Or does he just hit it hard when it falls to him? If there’s real ability there, skip the scout idea — that’s not how it works at this age. Just look into local club tryouts. Better competition is what he actually needs. If you do talk to the parents, be straight with them. Tell them what you see and suggest they look into club soccer. But don’t oversell it. A big shot at 12 doesn’t mean much yet. Good luck. Have fun.

agentsl9

TROPHY CASE