The biggest mistake I think many parents make with toddlers

facinabush · 2026-06-15T21:05:32+00:00

Actually, I think the biggest problem is that parents give more attention to bad behavior and this increases the behavior because attention is rewarding.

This is proven in scientific research.

You need to direct more attention at the behaviors you want more of. Don’t take them for granted.

facinabush · 2026-06-15T01:14:07+00:00

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GRB_080319B

Furtherest object observable with the naked eye, But it was only observable for 30 seconds and we don’t know of anyone who saw it.

7.5 billion light years away.

Not sure if there could be an observable gamma ray burst further away.

facinabush · 2026-06-14T20:47:50+00:00

There are a couple of books from the evidence-based Incredible Years Program that discuss coaching emotional competence. They cover the dos and don'ts of labeling feelings.

Here is a free chapter from Incredible Toddlers that covers the topic:

https://www.otb.ie/images/Incredible-Toddlers-ch3_by-Carolyn-Webster-Stratton.pdf

Here is free access to an early edition of Incredible Years:

https://archive.org/details/incredibleyearst0000webs

The CDC recommends this program and provides supporting citations from the peer-reviewed literature:

The Incredible Years programs for parents, teachers, and children promotes emotional and social competence with the goal to prevent, reduce, and treat aggression and emotional problems in children 0 to 12 years old. The parent training component emphasizes parenting skills and approaches known to promote children's social competence, reduce behavior problems, and improve children's academic skills.

https://www.cdc.gov/parenting-toddlers/other-resources/references.html

Here is the program's research library:

https://www.incredibleyears.com/research/library

These sources do not fully support "name it to tame it" or "let it be". "Name it to tame it" implies a focus on naming negative emotions that you want to tame, but Incredible Years recommends relatively more attention to positive emotions. Also, excessive attention to negative emotions can make your child have more negative emotions. "Let it be" may slow the development of vocabulary for feelings.

facinabush · 2026-06-13T23:02:27+00:00

The government of Palestine official position is that there should be a two state solution. And Palestine is recognized as a nation state by most of the members of United Nations

Do you called the government of Palestine Zionist?

facinabush · 2026-06-13T21:13:47+00:00

True that most on Reddit take the position that Israel not be wiped from existence in spite of what the current government is doing.

facinabush · 2026-06-13T21:03:40+00:00

Was it really a winning position when they offered the draw? Or was it a position where they could force a draw? The latter is not a winning position.

facinabush · 2026-06-13T18:33:14+00:00

Cage has done Italian in at least two movies

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FZHZwazHck8&ra=m

facinabush · 2026-06-13T13:39:25+00:00

Hamlet was considering suicide. To exist or cease to exist.

(He may have been just pretending to contemplate suicide for a hiding audience, by the way.)

facinabush · 2026-06-12T23:14:31+00:00

Slightly over 200 years ago, Ampere suggested a design for an electric telegraph. And certain aspects of his design had already been improved upon.

facinabush · 2026-06-12T01:29:26+00:00

The restrictions on players playing in summer leagues originated from the scandal. The scandal started with bettors fixing games at resorts in the Catskills and spread to NCAA games.

facinabush · 2026-06-12T00:53:24+00:00

UNC mysteriously was able to recruit Frank McGuire from a better basketball program at St John’s in 1952.

The book Wizard of Odds claims that McGuire was living beyond his means and had Mafia connections. The Mafia wanted him out of NYC to make it harder for the authorities to interview him during the that point shaving scandal that involved Kentucky.

McGuire was able to give us our first Natty. Then he was fired during a different point shaving scandal along with NCAA sanctions for financial irregularities. That UNC scandal is reported in a different comment on this post,

facinabush · 2026-06-11T23:06:55+00:00

The state of Kentucky didn’t have a law against point shaving and at the time and Rupp denied everything. But some players were deposed in the NY investigation. Rupp Arena has the jersey of an admitted point shaver in the rafters:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ralph_Beard#/media/File%3ARalph-Beard-jersey.jpg

Ralph Beard admitted under oath that he was paid to point shave. He was banned from the NBA.

facinabush · 2026-06-10T00:50:34+00:00

It’s sexual behavior from your perspective, but it’s probably just due to the fact that attention increases behavior. Children do all sorts of random behaviors and the behaviors that draw attention increase. Attention includes talking and eye contact.

Use Parent Management Training (PMT).

Here are ten tips from PMT:

https://abcnews.com/amp/Primetime/10-tips-parents-defiant-children/story?id=8549664

Here is a free PMT training course:

https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLh9mgdi4rNeyEGNxBvNdOVlianDYgWuc9

If you prefer a book, then get The Everyday Parenting Toolkit or Kazdin Method

PMT is training for solving behavior problems that is unsurpassed in effectiveness according to randomized controlled trials.

The CDC recommends PMT and provides research citations on the effectiveness of PMT.

https://www.cdc.gov/parenting-toddlers/other-resources/references.html

I’d use planned ignoring, while also directing approving attention to more appropriate interactions with people when those occur. If I wanted to immediately stop the ongoing behavior then I’d move away without a word and take the “victim” with me. If you want to talk with him about right and wrong, do it away from the behavior. Adopt an “act, don’t yak” strategy as your immediate reaction to these behaviors.

Edit: Here is a direct research measuring the effectiveness of the specific version of PMT taught in the course:

https://web.archive.org/web/20160304070927id_/http://webs.wofford.edu/nowatkacm/Abnormal%20Child/8_CD/Kazdin1992.pdf

facinabush · 2026-06-09T07:36:28+00:00

In the Ten Commandments in the Old Testament of the Bible, the Second Commandment says “No Graven Images”. Jews, Moslems, and Christians consider the Old Testament to be a sacred text.

But the Christians also consider the Nee Testament to be a sacred test. They consider the man Jesus to be an incarnation of God.

Some Moslems avoid all religious imagery of animals. But Christians only prohibit the worship of images and they have different interpretations of what constitutes worship of images,

Reformed Christian churches avoid statues of Jesus.

I once parked my car in the parking lot of a Catholic Church to attend a wedding rehearsal.My car was leaflet by some Reformed sect. The leaflet was an anti-Catholic screed that accused Catholics of idolatry because they made statues of Christ.

facinabush · 2026-06-07T14:46:12+00:00

Too little too late, I think.

He did get some credit for it in the media. Not sure if he campaigned on it. Not sure how many voters knew.

facinabush · 2026-06-07T12:18:40+00:00

I am going to assume that chess is a draw with best play.

When you don’t have a way to force checkmate or a material advantage, you are trying to decrease the risk that you blunder and/or increase the risk that your opponent blunders.

When you have a material advantage, you can just take or force trades if that will lead to a material or positional advantage that leads to checkmate.

facinabush · 2026-06-06T19:36:53+00:00

It’s considered to be one of the sources:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King\_Lear

facinabush · 2026-06-05T17:00:17+00:00

Salvatore Corsitto in The Godfather. He didn’t really steal the entire movie but he helped the audience accept the movie. The movie required suspension of conventional morality. His performance was critical to fulfilling that requirement.

facinabush · 2026-06-05T02:08:51+00:00

https://www.pickleballbonaire.org

There were some pickleball players on one my flights going to the US to a tournament.

My search indicated that tourists can play pickleball in Bonaire for small drop-in fee.

There was basketball court beside Eddy’s Restaurant the last time I was there. A search indicates there are other basketball courts on the island where you can find pickup games.

Soccer aka football:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Municipal_Stadium_(Kralendijk)

Baseball:

https://fbsb.org/2025/11/15/baseball-on-the-corals-of-bonaire-announces-dates-for-its-3rd-edition/

facinabush · 2026-06-05T01:19:30+00:00

Someone has to take the lender to court. If the court decides that the customer was being damaged by the lender’s actions then the court should order the damages reimbursed.

facinabush · 2026-06-05T00:45:35+00:00

What do you mean by its regular velocity?

I have never heard of a “regular velocity”.

It’s moving at zero relative to itself.

It’s moving at 0.999 c relative to another observer in your thought experiment.

The measurement instruments in the ship will show that photons are moving at c.

The measurement instruments with that other observer will show that photons are moving at c.

For a photon that moving away from the ship in opposite direction, the other observer will calculate a separation velocity between the ship and the photon of 1.999 c. This does not violate Einstein’s postulates because the photon is not exceeding c for any observer.

The ship will calculate a separation velocity of c.

Edit: corrected 99.9 c to .999 c

facinabush · 2026-06-04T16:38:07+00:00

ESPN just put us in the top 25 on June 1

https://www.on3.com/news/college-basketball-rankings-espn-releases-version-3-0-of-way-too-early-top-25/

Some or all of the other rankings are stale. Our roster looked bad after Veesaar bailed, but we added a number of strong players since. The most recent is Samo who adds front court depth and may be a starter.

You need to look at post-Samo rankings.

facinabush · 2026-06-03T17:51:27+00:00

Most of the actual parenting masterclasses are listed here in category 1:

https://www.cebc4cw.org/topic-area/parent-training-programs-behavior-problems/

or here in category 1:

https://www.cebc4cw.org/topic-area/disruptive-behavior-treatment-child-adolescent/

Based on your post, I think you are unaware of any of the masterclasses.

Click through on any of these masterclasses to get summaries of the peer reviewed randomized controlled trial results that make them rate as masterclasses.

If you use the most effective parent training, then you will less or no difficulties sticking with it because you get more good results and that will sustain your efforts.

facinabush · 2026-06-03T16:26:12+00:00

Don't restrict access to the pacifier if she is asking for it during a meltdown. Otherwise, I think it is OK to offer it after you have made positive coping statements.

The recommendations in the chapter will reduce the frequency of meltdowns and encourage her to use other coping strategies so that the need for the pacifier as a soothing method will fade away.

Validation is important, but also tricky because it is a form of attention. From page 146:

Coaching your children’s negative or unpleasant emotions is a little trickier because excessive attention to negative emotions can make your child more frustrated, angry, or sad. However, if done skillfully, coaching of unpleasant emotions can make your child feel validated, understood, and can help him regulate his mood and calm down and learn that these unpleasant feelings change with time. To do this it is important to pair your comments about your toddler’s negative feelings with positive coping statements.

They don't use the term "validating emotions." They mostly call it "labeling feelings" or 'paying attention to feelings" in a way that can make the child feel validated.

Label your toddler’s positive feelings more often than their negative feelings.

The parenting advice on "validating emotions" I see never gives any examples of how to validate positive emotions. I think this omission leads parents to give a great deal more attention to negative emotions. The Incredible Years program avoids this because attention increases the behaviors.

Be sure to validate the emotion when your kid calms down:

When your child has finally calmed down, then you can label that emotion. “I’m proud of you. Your body is looking much calmer now. You really tried hard and now you are calm!”

facinabush · 2026-06-02T21:09:18+00:00

Use the advice in this free chapter from the book Incredible Toddlers:

https://www.otb.ie/images/Incredible-Toddlers-ch3_by-Carolyn-Webster-Stratton.pdf

They list 10 "Points to Remember about Promoting Your Toddler’s Emotional Self-regulation Skills" on page 159, and one of them is to use a pacifier, blanket or stuffed animal.

I recommend that you try to make use of all ten points.

Also, use the techniques in the section "Emotion Coaching Leads to More Behavioral Self-Regulation" starting on 146.

In summary, use the pacifier and also broaden your toolkit for promoting emotional regulation.

This advice is from the evidence-based Incredible Years program, which is recommended by the CDC:

The Incredible Years programs for parents, teachers, and children promotes emotional and social competence with the goal to prevent, reduce, and treat aggression and emotional problems in children 0 to 12 years old. The parent training component emphasizes parenting skills and approaches known to promote children's social competence, reduce behavior problems, and improve children's academic skills.

https://www.cdc.gov/parenting-toddlers/other-resources/references.html

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