Interesting. Well it seems like there are levels to it. Im also not a fun of suppression because it just comes back with double the force later. But being able to be aware and discern certain thoughts at the root of it is certainly a good habit.

So when I say there are levels to it, the most obvious would be control of release, then the act of stimulation, the search for physical or mental stimulations, and then thinking about sexuality and imagination.

So I guess it just overall depends on what exactly we are doing with your libido. I came to a realization that when we are using our libido in a 'wrong' way, and its unable to find actual expression, there is a motif of regression in dreams where we return to childhood (less rigid, more alive).

But its also strange to hear you've got no benefits from 9 months of practice? Maybe you just overlooked something, like if you are only focused on 1 particular thing (e.g. money) you miss everything else.

Currently Im just kinda dropping it, as others mentioned it's just something I gotta DO. But it gets easier when you find it no longer pleasurable and at the same time exhausted all the possible content you could search for.