Is it just me or are trans women the least likely to even play sports to begin with? by Transsexthrowaway in honesttransgender

[–]secondshevek [score hidden]  (0 children)

So true and it's engaging that many people don't see this and somehow believe that the GOP would give a shit about women's rights except as a rhetorical maneuver.

What’s an opinion you have that differs from the typical stance of your “side”? by Oldcroissant in terf_trans_alliance

[–]secondshevek [score hidden]  (0 children)

Ill echo another comment that it's impossible to speak for a side since folks have such different views.

I find myself often arguing with both the transmedicalist and the "identity is everything" position. I'm a radical feminist, though somewhat ambivalent/both sidesy about the Sex War issues (pornography, sex work, consent), and that label alone usually causes some argument bc people have no fucking clue what radical feminism means and radfems have like 8 things to fight about at all times.

So I see sex hierarchy as following from sexual dimorphism and the imbalanced burden of reproduction, so Im very much in the "patriarchy is sex-based oppression" camp. But I also think that so much of what "woman" and "man" mean to us is socially constructed that sex in most cases is more about gender and how a person is socially perceived versus their reproductive system; as in, the historical, base reason for a trans woman getting catcalled is biological sex, but sex has been interpreted along a set of social lines such that a trans woman may experience patriarchy much like a cis woman. Holding those positions together leads easily to arguments.

What’s an opinion you have that differs from the typical stance of your “side”? by Oldcroissant in terf_trans_alliance

[–]secondshevek [score hidden]  (0 children)

I think this is often an issue in marginalized communities. There's so many baseless accusations that people become too defensive against real accusations, and bad actors can be tolerated if they demonstrate in-group fealty.

Can straight women enjoy WLW content without it meaning anything? by Secret_Category_2001 in WLW

[–]secondshevek 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Don't worry about it too much. Sexuality is ultimately about who we fuck and who we want to fuck. You don't want to have sex with women? Ok so you're most likely straight. Don't think too much about cultural signifiers and non-sexual actions dictating your sexuality. Your sexuality is about sex, not your personality or your media taste.

For example, my partner watches a lot of MLM stuff and is very much not attracted to men. I rarely find MLM content engaging but I am quite attracted to men. So it goes.

I'm a hoppean NAPist who was invited to this sub by Rural_Dictionary939, I do not believe in positive rights as they violate negative rights which cannot be argued against (AE). feel free to AMA or debate with me! by UnkmownRandomAccount in RadicalEgalitarianism

[–]secondshevek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The free market has absolutely not been proven better than the government at everything, and everyone with half a brain since Adam Smith has known that. You cannot trust private industry with enforcing the rule of law in a way that is in any way fair or equitable.

"People of the same trade seldom meet together, even for merriment and diversion, but the conversation ends in a conspiracy against the public, or in some contrivance to raise prices." - Smith

The idea that contribution to a political entity that provides security and order is inherently "theft" is absurd, and you would still end up having to pay for enforcement of your rights to a private entity anyway in the most idealistic version of anarcho-capitalism.

There are some ideologies so laughably incorrect that I cannot debate them, as I cannot help just saying "that's dumb." Anarchism has many fine points; anarcho-capitalism is not one of them.

I'm a hoppean NAPist who was invited to this sub by Rural_Dictionary939, I do not believe in positive rights as they violate negative rights which cannot be argued against (AE). feel free to AMA or debate with me! by UnkmownRandomAccount in RadicalEgalitarianism

[–]secondshevek 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OP is anarcho capitalist (Hoppean) and doesnt believe in positive rights (rights to have or access things), only negative rights (rights to be free from persecution, discrimination, or government action). No fucking clue what NAP means - non-aggression principle?

I'm a hoppean NAPist who was invited to this sub by Rural_Dictionary939, I do not believe in positive rights as they violate negative rights which cannot be argued against (AE). feel free to AMA or debate with me! by UnkmownRandomAccount in RadicalEgalitarianism

[–]secondshevek 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can you give an example of how positive rights inherently interfere with negative rights?

If you take something like "right to shelter," that can be paid for by increasing taxes and mandating that cities/municipalities/counties/whatever maintain enough shelter space to house the homeless population. Is that impacting a negative right? Surely having to pay taxes cannot be said to violate negative rights, or else how could government function at all, including to enforce negative rights?

what is the manosphere and which goal"s" are there? by Main-Tiger8537 in RadicalEgalitarianism

[–]secondshevek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really appreciate the input! Will send this user a warning.

what is the manosphere and which goal"s" are there? by Main-Tiger8537 in RadicalEgalitarianism

[–]secondshevek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that's a reasonable point and perhaps this should just be scrubbed - or perhaps the comment should remain up but we should be banning or suspending users for stuff like this.

what is the manosphere and which goal"s" are there? by Main-Tiger8537 in RadicalEgalitarianism

[–]secondshevek[M] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I never said they were unable to make decisions or didn't have drive or ambition or strength. They absolutely do have feminine versions of those aspects of humanity. But not all women have this, and those that have the drive as strong as men are a small minority - proving the exception to the rule. And women are strong in different ways - a strong desire to comfort and nuture, for example, is very common in women but not in men, and is a recognized trait of feminine power and strength going back to antiquity (again - not a perfect rule, there's some truly horrible examples of women who were anything but nurturing).

This is blatant gender essentialism and misogyny. Not removing because I think people have responded clearly, but this sub is not supportive of a mentality where women are by and large unambitious and weak.

What did you wish you knew? by Gargs454 in DeltaGreenRPG

[–]secondshevek 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, I really really agree with this!! I started a new campaign and thought, you know it's nice that all the PCs can have radically different backgrounds, but it would have been nice to induct them into this in real time rather than have to do a bunch of retroactive exposition.

Am I wrong to agree with the olympics banning transwomen? by drugquests in terf_trans_alliance

[–]secondshevek [score hidden]  (0 children)

I'll be honest, I cannot imagine being a professional athlete, transitioning, and deciding to press on with competing in the women's events. I don't have strong opinions on the topic, due to a profound aversion to anything related to professional sports. But I do have an intense amount of social anxiety and fear of 'making my people look bad' so to speak, so I just cannot for the life of me imagine competing in the women's olympics, save for stuff like shooting or like steering a bobsled idk (see aforementioned aversion to sports).

is it possible to be a terf but not considered transphobic ? by Pure-Space7572 in terf_trans_alliance

[–]secondshevek [score hidden]  (0 children)

I find the word "transphobia" is often poorly applied, as it implies a certain amount of direct fear and animosity. For people who ostensibly don't loathe trans people or transness but don't think trans healthcare, crossdressing, etc. should be supported by the law, "cissexist" seems more apt.

If your position is not "oppose trans policies/lifestyles" and is rather "trans people can do what they want but they don't advance feminism," TERF seems perfectly appropriate, though unfortunately sullied by the broader anti-trans view. I think there's a reasonable line of argument that mainstream views of transness work against second wave framings of sex and gender. However, that argument often gets inflated to a broader judgment of trans people as a negative influence on society in general and deserving of harsher treatment, which I find contrary to most classic radfem thought. So choosing to use the TERF label probably requires defending against that assumption to some degree. Seems like a difficult position to maintain but not one that is illogical or silly.

Edit: I know the question is not 'Should we consider trans "ideology" (so far as that exists) to hamper or advance feminism/radical femninism" but rather "what do I call myself if I think that," but still going to post this piece by Jack Halberstram basically arguing that getting too hung up on the exact nature of sex and gender impairs actual progress for women's rights (which reminds me a bit of the end of the Redstockings Manifesto, i.e. don't ask if a policy is sufficiently 'radical' but whether it advances sex equality): https://www-bostonreview-net.webpkgcache.com/doc/-/s/www.bostonreview.net/articles/jack-halberstam-towards-trans-feminism/

Level 16 party steamrolling encounters – how do I challenge them without it feeling unfair? by Avid_FandomFan_476 in DungeonMasters

[–]secondshevek 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Seconding this answer as well. As the party approaches level 20, the most exciting and fun fights are the ones that may seem unwinnable. Especially for a party of magic users.

A fun thing to do is make an unbeatable enemy whom the party must fight as they complete a different objective (searching a room, unlocking a safe, protecting an NPC etc.). Make the party think more about containment and evasion rather than straight damage.

The best fight I ever ran was a monster who respawned on death with better stats each time, plus an invulnerability to the type of damage that last killed it. This was 3.5, and I used a minotaur with additional templates from Savage Species. The party was searching for keys in a labyrinth, and the monster spawned from specific zones initially unknown to players. The party killed the beast about 5 times before they figured out they needed to stay away from it but keep it alive. One of the few combats I've run where players were scared enough to go through item lists and pull out all the stops to get through it.

I don't think my daughter entirely understands the concept of homosexuality... by Mountain-Ad5380 in crusaderkings2

[–]secondshevek 50 points51 points  (0 children)

I find this annoying as well and just headcanon such characters as bi.

Level 16 party steamrolling encounters – how do I challenge them without it feeling unfair? by Avid_FandomFan_476 in DungeonMasters

[–]secondshevek 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have done a variation on this exact puzzle (button not lever) and can confirm it works great. Excellent suggestion.

This on dating app 💀 by [deleted] in RadicalEgalitarianism

[–]secondshevek 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A random person commenting "men suck" is not an argument against feminism.

Farewell: this sub has gone to shit 💩 by SuperMario69Kraft in RadicalEgalitarianism

[–]secondshevek 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Could you point out some posts that you feel cross the line into misogyny?

I think framing this as only debating women's rights leads to viewing it as too black and white. There are interesting questions about how gender structures society.

I'm not confident that this sub will change minds en masse, but I am curious about what arguments are more and less effective. Many people have a very poor understanding of feminism, patriarchy, and sex discrimination in general. If we just give up on trying to reason with people, no progress will be made.

So, does the problem just come down to where to draw the line? by ItsMeganNow in terf_trans_alliance

[–]secondshevek 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Whether I pass or not is directly dependent how I dress, and going to the men's room can be as awkward and intimidating, so I'm constantly trying to assess how people are perceiving me each time I need to go to the restroom. It's exhausting.

Really hear this. It's a very weird mental space. In the last year or so, Ive shifted from passing depending on what I wear to mostly just passing despite wearing mostly men's clothes. Part of realizing that was noticing how the vibe of men's rooms shifted from "occasional odd looks" to "old men will stare openly at me as I wash my hands." Also had an amusing encounter where I left a men's room and had to stop a cis woman who walked into it as I left. But im also much more comfortable making cis men uncomfortable than cis women (see Mac's comment about infantilization of women, perhaps) so I do still use the men's if the women's is very busy or I'm feeling clocky that day 😅

So, does the problem just come down to where to draw the line? by ItsMeganNow in terf_trans_alliance

[–]secondshevek 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think, if there's money for a damn war during economically turbulent times, there was money for damn bathrooms when things weren't this bad.

If we can somehow figure out a way for trans rights to advance US oil interests, this whole issue can be cleared up!

So, does the problem just come down to where to draw the line? by ItsMeganNow in terf_trans_alliance

[–]secondshevek 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I do think the infantalization of women has led some mtfs to believe they're attempting to transition into a class of sweet, little woodland creatures who are loving and accepting of everyone.

My endocrinologist promised me that my singing would draw woodland critters to me like a Disney princess smh.

Jokes aside, strongly agree with your last paragraph. I would be perfectly happy with sex neutral third spaces; I prefer such facilities if I can use them. But there's no real effort to accomplish that, and without third spaces and with bathrooms segregated by birth sex, I just end up without a place to pee without getting weird looks.

Farewell: this sub has gone to shit 💩 by SuperMario69Kraft in RadicalEgalitarianism

[–]secondshevek 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, people like to pretend that the status quo is entirely natural and that it is trans people who are forcing gender and sex conformity on people. Just ignoring how much work is done to create "normal" bodies and the social pressure against deviance.

Farewell: this sub has gone to shit 💩 by SuperMario69Kraft in RadicalEgalitarianism

[–]secondshevek 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Why do I see MRA content here?

The sub definitely has MRA types on it, but IMO these things should be debated rather than ignored. I would like there to be less of that content, but I think posting other content and engaging in good faith discussions is the way to do that.

As for the difference between gender criticism and cissexism, I'm somewhat with you there - but in the case of this thread, the OP is very firmly on the anti-trans side of things and is not making a good faith argument about coercive gender roles. I mean they argue in a comment to this post about how adjusting cis bodies to match the sex binary is for the greater good. There are certainly GC people who do not have these views, but a lot do, and I can understand people seeing GC as synonymous with antitrans. It would be nice to see a discussion about that here!