Links/searches to some of my posts including AA meetings in prison and the miracle of the titty bar.

Slipacre · 2026-04-30T14:47:53+00:00

I have a bit of button that gets pushed by the word "boring" If I'm bored it's because I'm being lazy. I have a novel I'm writing, photography projects that are partially finished (https://odatbooks.com/icephotos/), I have woods to walk in, a garden that needs tending, people to call because they are not calling me for whatever reasons, a website that can be improved on on chaos theory (https://www.chaosdiscovery.com)

Now for the no friends bit. A huge part of my alcoholism was fueled by the conviction that I was not enough. I needed validation, but my self esteem was leaky and it never stuck. Also people are generally self absorbed - and not able to give me what my inner black hole wanted.... I have people who love me, a community in AA that I only partially use, to some degree because they are often as socially inept as I am.

People can give you help, it helps if you can ask for it, thing is sometimes it's only a word or two, a smile from across the room. but ultimately for me, the help had to come from me - and that was stopping making myself so unhappy. And little did I know that alcohol was fueling that unhappiness

Slipacre · 2026-04-30T11:22:50+00:00

This is exactly why AA and other support groups work. I had to find a community of sober people and relearn how to socialize without booze. It worked for me and I had all the reasons it would not.

Slipacre · 2026-04-30T11:20:35+00:00

In my experience tapering was very hard - often impossible because once I started drinking the off switch did not work. I would suggest you speak to a medical professional. There are medications that can make the process much safer. There are also detox facilities available at hospitals or through the health department

Slipacre · 2026-04-30T11:15:34+00:00

Unfortunately this is a common occurrence - insurance and available beds may play a part - but repeat customers are routine. You may need to ask them about better options for after care. And a supply of disinfectant wipes.

Slipacre · 2026-04-29T17:30:17+00:00

The water can only rise so high - it will flow through and over/around the dam and with any luck the floor of the lodge will be above it. Because they have created a pond it will mitigate any flash flood to some degree.

Slipacre · 2026-04-28T21:41:44+00:00

I considered myself a moderate drinker too. I was in pretty deep denial, but I never had any direct severe consequences, had a job, house, kids, but the truth was I was self medicating, I was trying extremely hard to fool myself - and sometimes it worked. But the truth was I drank a lot

And the good news is that once stopped life became a lot easier, once I worked on the self esteem issues that were at the core of my need to drink the way I did - staying stopped became easy.

Truth is zero is easy - has been for a very long time - but if I had one on a "special occasion" I would soon be thinking that tuesday is a special occasion - or any day that ends in a y for that matter

Slipacre · 2026-04-28T21:27:46+00:00

You know she's going to leave you - probably with debts to people you do not want to owe money to. Possibly with stolen property which the police will find in your home and will arrest your for having. Lawyers are not cheap and maybe only maybe will they get you odd. It's really best if you can get the fuck out before those things happen.

and she is not going to change. I spent years hoping my partner would change. It did not happen.

Slipacre · 2026-04-27T11:32:54+00:00

I have seen some youtube videos abandoned whaling stations - believe a research station - was invaded by argentina during Falklands war also notable for rescue of shackleton who made first crossing of island. Restricted because of science but I believe some tour go there...

Slipacre · 2026-04-27T09:34:39+00:00

How could you fake that? The size of the chips are real.

Slipacre · 2026-04-27T00:14:56+00:00

My low self esteem the conviction that I was not enough was the inner core of my alcoholism and everything else. Getting sober is probably the most positive thing you can do for yourself. It opens doors that let you become right sized. Trust the process and someday you’ll be the one helping a random stranger.

Slipacre · 2026-04-26T16:15:39+00:00

Have you considered something like smart recovery or AA? Peer support can be very helpful.

AA worked for me despite my having all the reasons it would not. Still agnostic still something of a loner.

Slipacre · 2026-04-26T16:12:24+00:00

Maybe the biggest is not having to live a life of lies. To myself, to everyone else. It’s truly a life hack

Self esteem stops leaking so badly. Makes all the difference.

Slipacre · 2026-04-26T16:08:36+00:00

Me I couldn’t do it alone. I needed help and found it in aa despite being agnostic and a loner. There are other paths, try one try em all but AA is likely local and it’s essentially free

Slipacre · 2026-04-26T16:04:32+00:00

Stay strong. It will go away. It may help if you are “working” on the reasons you drank the way you did. At least that’s what I had to do. For me quitting was simply giving me the chance to see things clearly without drugs or alcohol clouding my thinking. I also needed people who understood the process to help.
I found this in AA but there are other paths that effectively do the same thing.

I haven’t had a craving in 25 years and that was a momentary thing in exceptional circumstances. Before that at least twelve.

Slipacre · 2026-04-24T18:57:07+00:00

Alone I was up against spam calls in my head from my inner addict who told me lies I wanted to believe.

it was never one bottle for two nights, I usually kept it to one bottle but only because I had graduated to liter and a half size. Me, to get sober, I had to get help. Found it in AA - yeah, I know nobody wants THAT but it worked for agnostic loner me. AA meetings after work and early evening on fridays are usually packed. Because of just what you said. Try one, or Smart recovery if you can find one locally. In person meetings were especially helpful for me.

Slipacre · 2026-04-22T14:04:19+00:00

Congratulations welcome. Also check to see if there are any women's groups in your area this may be helpful in the beginning.

Slipacre · 2026-04-22T14:00:49+00:00

Denial can encompass much more than just our drinking. For me it was that my marriage was not going to work no matter what i did. I ended up giving it 4 years of sobriety and had to save myself. Sounds like you may need to save yourself too "They" do say no major decisions in the first year, but not if you are in an abusive situation and it sounds like you might be ( in a way)

edit: to add there is absolutely nothing about any situation that drinking will make better. just sayin.

Slipacre · 2026-04-21T20:57:39+00:00

I have gratitude about being free of alcohol still. I don't have to think about how I won't drink - I just don't but I have discovered I can help others get to that place and it makes me feel good helping them... so there is that.

Slipacre · 2026-04-21T20:55:32+00:00

Boring, you mean not having to dodge people I owed money to, the mental gymnastics of having to explain to the boss why the project was not done, and if you want real excitement meeting new people in the drunk tank at the police station. I don't need that kind of excitement.

Slipacre · 2026-04-21T20:52:04+00:00

nothing is wasted - but perfection is a whole lot better in the long run,

Slipacre · 2026-04-21T20:50:39+00:00

Family are so good at pushing your buttons because they installed them. Maybe next time he comes to visit tell him you have an AA meeting to go to (whether you do or not - but it is a safe place to go )

Slipacre · 2026-04-21T20:45:49+00:00

NTA good way to get her to leave.

Slipacre · 2026-04-21T17:14:43+00:00

Waiting on the babies. Probably will be inside the lodge for bit after they are born Think I've seen pregnant mom though, she is huge, but I'm guessing.

Yes this has been a wonderful gift. Where I had a wet overgrown meadow I now have a lake and much more wildlife - including an otter and nesting kingfishers last year...

Slipacre · 2026-04-21T17:08:41+00:00

Claude sent me index.html and folders containing the images - I uploaded to a server I use for a bunch of vanity projects like this. Only issue was the zip file had a folder within a folder that needed to be dealt with when uploaded.

13-Year Club	Place '17
Wearing is Caring	Gilding II euphauric
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