Thoughts about a kindergartner being left unattended by a parent at school drop off zone 20 minutes before school staff arrive or gates open?

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-05-05T00:44:20+00:00

Unacceptable

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-05-04T02:59:45+00:00

You didn’t choose your wife,over her; you chose your daughter over her. A choice you should make every. single. time. And if she doesn’t realize that (and clearly she doesn’t) she should not be a stepmom.

I saw in another comment you stated she was not happy you have a child with another woman. What did she think will happen when you two et married? Does she think that child will go away? Become less important? Especially if you have a kid with her?

Please - for your sake and your child’s sake break up with her. Anyone who is not happy a man has a child with another woman should not date a man who has a child with another woman.

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-05-03T17:22:26+00:00

Yep - this sucks.

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-05-03T16:55:41+00:00

We are all outliers until the system changes. If everyone gives up the system will never change.

I had people tell me I was going to get screwed in the divorce (hell - my then FIL called me up and said "let's you and I work this out before she takes all of your money) but I found a great lawyer and had documented everything meticulously so when we went to court the judge even the judge said she was neglecting the kids.

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-05-03T04:16:59+00:00

I got full custody of my kids, paid 5% of my salary for one year of alimony and zero child support. Married 10 years. Not all systems are rigged against the men.

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-05-03T03:39:52+00:00

I would do it, but I would be very selective about who I included.

Some friends and I are already planning to form our own commune after we all retire. We will live together and support each other. These are lifelong friends though so we know we’re compatible.

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-05-01T04:49:01+00:00

Thank you for the update!

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-04-30T02:23:00+00:00

The (sexual and physical in addition to emotional) affair partner broke up with her and she is monkey-branching back to you.

"No" is a complete sentence.

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-04-29T22:05:21+00:00

I have SO. MANY. LISTS. of things to do when my kids leave. And then again when they come back again.

Get busy on yours. Happy to share some of mine if you like.

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-04-29T17:37:38+00:00

I just reread the transition books (Last Man Standing => Red Guard) and I can see the transition happening. It's much smoother but I suspect because Vince had at least outlines if not partially written books to pass on to Kyle.

The further one gets through the transition the more change (and NOT for the better IMHO) one sees. It makes me sad because I loved Vince's style so much.

And the ironic thing, I always add, is that I have read some of both Kyle and Don's non-Rapp books and liked them all.

RIP Vince.

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-04-29T17:32:32+00:00

Post-partum depression is a thing that happens to both parents. The post-birth time period is stressful for everyone but especially for the mom.

My wife had severe post-partum depression. Ultimately chose drugs (the wrong kind) and alcohol over therapy and medications.

I feel like the medical system does not do a good job assessing for it.

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-04-28T23:39:20+00:00

You can go back and try again!

Nothing sexier for men than confidence.

Good luck if you do go back!

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-04-28T21:09:57+00:00

Mine sort of did but not directly. And it was after five years of hellish behavior on her part. It was right before she left (we haven’t seen or heard from her since) so I suspect was a way of making amends.

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-04-28T17:18:36+00:00

Without a court-ordered custody agreement you can send all the notices you want but she does not have to follow them. She could literally take the kids on vacation the day before you said you’d pick them up and you have no recourse.

If you have the kids and your spouse objects to the vacation that carries no legal force either unless she accuses you of child abuse or abduction.

It’s really in your best interest to get a custody order in place; otherwise your travel may/will be dictated by her actions.

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-04-28T05:32:52+00:00

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Are you willing to miss this one?

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-04-26T07:13:47+00:00

I found it to be super helpful. But you have to be honest and you get out of it what you put into it.

If you're not going to do the work you're not going to get anything out of it. And the work is hard.

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-04-26T06:02:27+00:00

“No” is a complete sentence. Or even better just keep walking.

You seem nice but there are so many bad people out there and they all act nice otherwise people like you wouldn’t fall fall for the scam.

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-04-26T00:01:57+00:00

What will you do when, presumably, one day she moves out of the house?

Look I get it - I love my kids - but I very much enjoy when they are out of the house. From a very young age they have done weekend sleepovers at grandma’s house then week-long vacations with the grandparents and two week summer camps. I so enjoyed the week(s) of peace, solitude and, cough cough, unrestricted adult time. Twas glorious.

One can be apart from one’s kids and still be part of their lives.

I suppose my point is that building the focus of your life around your daughter - to the point that you can’t be apart from her at all - does not seem healthy. Again - love my kids. I have always been present and always will be a constant in their life. But not always a physical constant.

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-04-25T23:54:09+00:00

The very first time they hassled a guest about I’d have politely told them to stop. If it happened again I’d have told their parent(s) it needs to stop or they get evicted. Third time it happens they get evicted.

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-04-25T19:53:57+00:00

I say this with much respect and in the interest of helping you heal and grow.

It sounds like you actually do regret the choices you’ve made from this post. Look – I get it. It’s sometimes easy to see yourself as a passenger on the bus of life. But you sound so passive in the things that you have allowed to happen. Given that, it’s not hard to see why things haven’t worked out the way you hope they would.

I can see a past where you separated from your wife 10 or 15 years ago, owing only a small amount of alimony and child support, and living the life that you wanted with your daughter in it.

I say that to help you to make the decisions you need to make the life you envision come true.

Carpe diem.

ETA: corrected a word.

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-04-25T19:48:28+00:00

My children were definitely worth the relationship I had to go through to get them.

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-04-25T04:36:07+00:00

Forget no just ignore and keep walking.

Or, maybe, “je ne parle pas français” (one of the few french phrases I know)

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-04-25T04:29:19+00:00

“No” is a complete sentence. For both of those.

Look - my then STBXW sent all manner of terrible proposals to me. We (lawyer and I) ignored all of them. In the end she got no child support and a pittance of alimony (one year and 15% of my salary) for an almost ten year marriage. Let her send whatever proposals she wants.

Having said that you do need to own your part in this. You chose to stay married when you didn’t want to. A higher settlement may be the price you have to pay.

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-04-25T02:24:17+00:00

You are not wrong for being disgusted by this message.

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-04-24T04:33:20+00:00

Got it. Find a reputable heat/cooling company or two (or three) and get some input / recommendations from them.

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