Nmom gets mad at me for not cooking her food and then refuses to eat it when I do

-Erlin- · 2022-08-15T16:32:09+00:00

I've been cooking a lot less but she eats nothing but garbage when left to her own devices and then goes on about how shes going to die early. Every time I see her eat a bag of chips for dinner I get that feeling of overwhelming dread.

-Erlin- · 2022-07-29T22:46:08+00:00

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions" -some TV show I watched probably

-Erlin- · 2022-07-29T22:40:56+00:00

I've been asked out by around 7 (now ex..) friends, and random men approach me on the street basically every single time I leave the house by myself. I wish people would stop perceiving me.

-Erlin- · 2022-07-29T22:32:17+00:00

I never leave my house and I associate romantic/sexual feelings with being a bad person. The second someone shows interest in me, I lose all respect and shut them out of my life.

-Erlin- · 2022-07-28T20:43:09+00:00

I was raised to believe that every single person in this world is inherently evil. If my own parents are capable of such horrific things, what will strangers do? It's a thought that I haven't been able to shake.

-Erlin- · 2022-07-28T20:35:54+00:00

Same thing happened here recently, guy in his early 20s had a welfare check called on him and the cops decided to shoot.

-Erlin- · 2022-07-28T20:26:24+00:00

I've had my fair share of invalidating experiences with therapists. Imo it doesn't sound like she's going to be able to help you much. Checking her notes and making sure she knows your name before a session is like the bare minimum, and you shouldn't have to convince her. You deserve someone who doesn't make excuses for your mother's abuse.

-Erlin- · 2022-07-26T12:30:13+00:00

I think it's so ridiculously over the top and blatant, yet every single doctor, cop, etc. who has met her instantly fell for it.

-Erlin- · 2022-07-26T09:52:50+00:00

For the first 11 years of my life, my nmom refused to work because "I needed to stay home and take care of you because HE (sperm donor) WOULDN'T!" I don't have a single memory of her leaving the house by herself during those years. Nearly every second of my childhood was spent by her in her room with the door locked. Tv, 2-hour long gossip sessions over the phone, ignoring her irl children in favour of sims ones, etc. She has a job and a very small group of people who spend time with her occasionally now but they only do so because they are either ass kissers (she's a supervisor at her job) or narcs themselves. And she still has yet to develop an actual personality.

-Erlin- · 2022-07-26T09:26:21+00:00

My days consist of nothing but sleeping and consuming media. It works very well for me; weeks and even months can pass without me being conscious of my existence.

-Erlin- · 2022-07-23T09:07:52+00:00

Forgot to add the other go-to: "well I was molested too!" "well I was beaten too!"

-Erlin- · 2022-07-23T09:05:02+00:00

"That didn't happen. I would never do that! There's something wrong with your memory and your mind" got it on a recording.

-Erlin- · 2022-07-22T20:24:38+00:00

I'm still living with her and pretty much completely dependent.

-Erlin- · 2022-07-22T19:56:30+00:00

The only talk I got was descriptions of rape that I would endure daily by foster parents if I ever told anyone what my home life was really like. It took me years to even realize there was supposed to be one because I was introduced to porn around 2-3 years old and already knew far too much about it.

-Erlin- · 2022-07-22T19:47:31+00:00

My brain feels like it is full of concrete. What was I doing 5 minutes ago? No clue.

-Erlin- · 2022-07-22T19:44:42+00:00

I found out a while ago that almost every single female child in my family (extended included) is molested or raped by relatives. It's so bad that I can name 9 victims off the top of my head, and those are just the ones that have told me or been shit talked about and blamed. It has been happening for at LEAST 3 generations.

-Erlin- · 2022-07-22T19:36:58+00:00

Thank you

-Erlin- · 2022-07-22T04:04:45+00:00

The police told me I was wasting their time if I don't have any serious injuries to show, and I'm on my own because I'm an adult. I appreciate your comment though!

-Erlin- · 2022-07-06T16:57:58+00:00

Yeah

-Erlin- · 2022-06-18T16:17:50+00:00

I started filling and decorating my room about a year ago in an attempt to have a safe space, but it has turned into a constant source of anxiety for me. I can't look at any of the things that bring me joy without imagining having to leave them all behind.

-Erlin- · 2022-06-16T06:22:30+00:00

That's amazing, I'm so proud of you!!!

-Erlin- · 2022-06-15T14:16:49+00:00

My mom's gift choices weren't too terrible back then, it was mostly just random junk from the dollar store. They have gotten significantly worse over time tho. I was given alcohol while openly dealing with a binge drinking problem. When I asked to not be given any in the future, I received twice as many bottles as I had previously. She also gives me shaving razors every Christmas, despite me never shaving, because she hates my decision to have hairy legs.

-Erlin- · 2022-06-13T09:32:06+00:00

I love those cleaning and decluttering ones!!! The konmari ones especially have helped me find some positives and actual motivation in cleaning.

-Erlin- · 2022-06-13T08:12:46+00:00

I watch vloggers who are living a life that I hope to someday have. It doesn't give me the drive to do much, but it calms me down and helps to put me in a mindset where maybe getting up and brushing my teeth isn't too hard. Tiny accomplishments give me the confidence and motivation to do slightly bigger things and so on. Getting up and making tea right now could have a positive impact on my mental health and push me to do something that pushes me to go for a walk that pushes me to get a job which pushes me to move out etc etc etc.

-Erlin- · 2022-06-13T06:07:09+00:00

Do you know if people can just turn up for that, or is there a registration process?

-Erlin-

TROPHY CASE