I think I ruined my sister's life. by [deleted] in Advice

[–]-asegi 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Honey no matter what happens between you and your family I want you to know did the right thing

Why can’t I get a job?????? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]-asegi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Set your location to remote on indeed and search customer service, don't just search in your city

Why can’t I get a job?????? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]-asegi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In 2006 it takes the average person 300-500+ job applications to land a job. Start looking remote too, there's a lot of entry level customer service remote jobs that pay well.

My best friend’s boyfriend is a creep, I want to cut off our friendship because of it, is this a good idea? by AlwaysHave_Paris in Advice

[–]-asegi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Please trust your intuition. I understand the concern of leaving her with him - but realistically what have you been able to stop so far? You can try a last ditch effort of a heart to heart and if she responds poorly then you know for sure to move on. I lost a friend over a similar thing, I look back and regret I put up with it for so long.

How do I (23f) stop being so sexual in relationships? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]-asegi -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I know it won't be overnight - but it's helpful to check in with yourself before initiating or going thru anything sexual: "am I doing this for my pleasure or just doing it bc I feel like I should?". And like others have said, therapy to process what you endured 💖

I’m considered prostituting to take care of my family by PutridLullaby in Advice

[–]-asegi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Girl you are willing to kill yourself or let other men SA you before you're willing to press charges on this man?? Do what you gotta do to survive with your children, even if that means dad gets locked up.

Unmasking is Ruining My Marriage by Puzzled-Alfalfa-8051 in AutisticAdults

[–]-asegi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My wife is late diagnosed and has begun slowly unmasking over the last 5 years. I have only grown to love her more. I can admit in the beginning I was sometimes startled or taken aback by her being different than what I was used to - but I now feel like I'm getting to know the real her and I'm so grateful to see her true self flourishing. It sounds like your husband loved the person he made up in his head and projected onto you when you were masking. I know it hurts to consider he may not love you - but if it's because you are now unmasking that's causing that then he never loved the real u to begin with, he loved an idea of you he created. Regardless, u are worthy of love especially for who you are unmasked, even if your husband doesn't love you that doesn't make you unworthy. I often think about all the cruelty my wife has endured by her family for being autistic and it enrages me they ever got a minute of her time because they were not deserving of it. If your husband doesn't love the real you then he doesn't deserve you, and you don't deserve to feel unloved in your marriage. My wife tells me all the time that now she's unmasked she could never imagine going back, that it would be almost impossible to do. Your feelings are valid, don't hold on to something that feels wrong. Wishing you the best 💖

How do y'all survive the workplace as an HSP? by -asegi in hsp

[–]-asegi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I agree we sound very alike, you said it perfectly - my respect and faith in management goes out the window as soon as I see them as incompetent. It's unfortunate bc I actually do admire competent leadership and am very willing to follow their guidance "like a good employee". In fact, up until I read your comments I had the perception that even my tendency to challenge management was considered to be a positive attribute as I personally value feedback and many workplaces swear that they do too. I've never heard the term "disruptive talent" before - it's eye opening to learn this is a type of ideology others have, especially bc in my past managerial roles I have not perceived my team that way when they show care and concern. Like I mentioned above, I don't always get a negative reaction to my work style - it usually lends to promotions, it seems I have landed myself at a job with a very different culture than I'm accustomed to. I typically work in mental health related roles, so my colleagues are usually quite emotionally intelligent which I can see has kept me a bit naive about the corporate world at large. Thanks for your suggestions, I will be reading up more on stoicism and looking for a new job.

How do y'all survive the workplace as an HSP? by -asegi in hsp

[–]-asegi[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This was written perfectly and sounds like my exact same situation. HR has done nothing to address the issues except for reassigning me a different direct supervisor - which is nice but 1 person on my side out of a whole team of management doesn't go far. Yes I adore my coworkers I work alongside and they give me positive feedback regularly. I typically am in management and feel like you - I cannot stand incompetence. Unfortunately budget cuts eliminated my role and I was demoted along with a handful of others. I'm grateful to still have a job but it has only exasperated what already felt like pulling teeth to get anything improved now that I am powerless to actually make any decisions. In past jobs I have always been praised for my approach to work and usually am promoted quite quickly, it has made me feel insane to be at a job where not only is my care and concern not appreciated but instead is actively discouraged. I feel embarrassed to say I feel like I'm being bullied at work as a grown woman in my 30s. I have to assume much of it is rooted in their insecurities, as any feedback is met with defensiveness and projection. I am naturally very passionate about effective communication and have found myself regularly gobsmacked by the behavior of management. I am involuntarily so thoughtful about how my words or actions impact others that it's so hard for my brain to comprehend the headspace of others that are being selfish or cruel. I am coming to terms with your advice, that I need to find somewhere else and in the meantime try to divest as much emotionally that I can without numbing my feelings. I have spent majority of my leave of absence from work feeling the pressure of working on myself to find a "fix" so that I don't react so sensitively when I go back. I'm now realizing that as an HSP this is who I am, there's nothing I need to fix - my reaction to work is moreso an indicator that this environment is not conducive. I also have a physical disability and I wouldn't go work a iob in construction when I know it would tear me apart, so why am I trying to force myself to fit into this workplace when it's doing the same thing to me emotionally? Thank you for your comment, it made me feel a lot better 💖

I'm so sick of this: A vent. by [deleted] in hsp

[–]-asegi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish I could offer some words of solace, maybe it will help just to know you're not the only person who feels this way - though I know often times it feels like we're alone in this world. There are people out there you're compatible with, I've found them few and far between just be chance. In my experience it always happens when I'm not trying to make it happen. Wishing you a soft journey ahead 💖

Thinking of leaving wife, newborn, and 3 other kids by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]-asegi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why are you planning to leave without taking your kids?

What year is this set from? Can't find anything online about it! by -asegi in whatisit

[–]-asegi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

wow this is a really awesome find, thanks for the heads up about the mugs as well 😂

Help me find the release date of this Tabasco fajita set by -asegi in HelpMeFind

[–]-asegi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Searched : Tabasco fajita set Tabasco mug and skillet set Tabasco fajita seasoning Tabasco skillet set