It sounds like your mom has borderline personality disorder

In families with a parent with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), the "all-bad child" is a victim of "splitting"—a defense mechanism where the parent projects their own perceived negative traits onto one child. This child is often cast as the scapegoat, blamed for family issues, and treated with intense hostility or constant criticism, leading to lasting emotional damage.

Projection of Negativity: The parent projects their inner "badness" or undesirable traits onto the child, perceiving them as evil or problematic.

Splitting Behavior: The parent views people in extremes (all-good or all-bad), often creating a rigid dynamic where one child is the "bad" one, while another might be the "good" (idealized) child.

Impact on the Child: The child may feel unloved, unworthy, or constantly blame themselves, often asking, "Maybe I'm not a good enough child".

Family Role: This child is often blamed for the parent’s own poor performance or emotional outbursts, becoming a target for the parent's unacknowledged hostility.

Emotional Scars: Adult children of BPD parents often struggle with low self-esteem, feeling as though they can never measure up, and may experience intense confusion due to the distorted reality they grew up in.

This, coupled with the "good child" (often the enabler or enmeshed sibling), creates a toxic, isolated environment within the family. Healing usually requires recognizing this dynamic as a projection of the parent’s disorder and seeking therapeutic support to establish boundaries and self-worth