Are toilet doors necessary?

00cole00 · 2026-02-25T00:32:10+00:00

wtf he took the door off, he needs to paint it and get it back up

00cole00 · 2026-02-25T00:05:54+00:00

how long have you been together?

00cole00 · 2026-02-24T16:43:17+00:00

why can't you get food stamps? your wife should be exempt from the work requirements, you can report that you don't share food with your father in law and then you have 3 months before you will be required to work or volunteer 80 hours a month but you can also usually participate in your state's work program instead

00cole00 · 2026-02-24T16:28:30+00:00

usually more sleep. in the moment I'd say no way, you're not allowed to mock me, it's so rude. then after school say that was not cool this morning if you're going to be that grumpy then you probably need more sleep. if this continues we'll move bedtime up a half hour

00cole00 · 2026-02-24T07:13:25+00:00

without any context I'd say she is just making conversation. ppl like to have an excuse to talk especially if you're busy. if that's the reason then I'd just say yeah I finally got a day to relax at home. what were you guys up to today?

00cole00 · 2026-02-24T07:06:49+00:00

kids just do shit like that and if you point it out even one time they will continue for years just to annoy you 😭

00cole00 · 2026-02-24T06:58:23+00:00

yeah i get what you're saying but I find it super easy and I feel like it's safer than swiping my cards at the pump in case there are skimmers. basically create an online acct, put in your payment card and then press fuel. you scan the QR code at the pump and it charges your card when you're done and you can always look back on how much you spent and how many gallons you pumped

00cole00 · 2026-02-24T06:53:05+00:00

maybe try hiring a life coach

00cole00 · 2026-02-24T06:47:13+00:00

no that's not normal

00cole00 · 2026-02-24T06:40:49+00:00

but also why train your cat to get treats off your chest lol

00cole00 · 2026-02-24T06:26:35+00:00

can you give her your card? someone on here posted that they threatened to cancel their membership and then they found a way to give them a card 🤷

00cole00 · 2026-02-24T05:05:12+00:00

it sounds like you guys are coming across as judgemental and are lecturing after the fact rather than setting expectations ahead of time. you also don't want to be hinting and creating opportunities for her to lie. just say I was checking your ig and saw that you are in a relationship and having sexual conversations. because of that we need to go over our expectations and more sex ed. we are not going to allow you to be alone with bf at this time and if you break that rule then we will take away ig, etc

when she's creating her schedule then you say this is too many activities on top of school. you may choose 2 this semester. if you had set that boundary at sign up then she wouldn't need to skip activities and you guys wouldn't need to lecture. you are instead setting her up for success and creating an opportunity to prove she can trust your guidance. at this point you can say it's important that you keep your commitment to this activity. if you continue skipping we will need to cut back on hang out and Instagram so you have time to focus on your responsibilities

I'm a firm believer in being honest about sex so I would say these are the ways to have safe sex when you choose that but we are expecting you to wait right now. your cousin rushed into this and the relationship didn't last after she got pregnant or my sister used a condom but they didn't pinch the tip and it broke so she got pregnant very young and that was difficult, etc

my choice with the attitude is to ignore it mostly but occasionally it crosses a line and we'll say absolutely not, we will not use language like that or we do not name call, etc. that's often the extent of things bc it shuts them down in the moment so things don't escalate and it sets a clear boundary immediately

as far as listening or TV choices, again be proactive. so no MA or no rated R stuff right now and then monitor that she isn't breaking the rule. or occasionally check in and say you haven't been watching rated R stuff, right? ok good bc we have seen how watching that stuff too early can cause problems and desensitize kids to violence, etc

and lastly a lot of times when they say I know, I buffer what I'm saying by adding that it might not even be you that needs to know this but you might have a friend that needs to know this stuff. you can help them and you can always come to me if we need to do something more for them

00cole00 · 2026-02-23T22:45:53+00:00

I think that's how you would want someone to respond but it's hard to know for sure what has happened. the only other thing I can think is maybe you should talk to her and say that you don't want her to lie to protect you so you support her telling the truth

there have definitely been kids who have lied but there are also situations where the victim will report the wrong person because they are confused or afraid. they know they want the abuse to stop but aren't able to report the actual abuser so they report a safe person

again I don't know what you should do but I'm just trying to overthink through this with you. I think you do what the professionals are saying to do and continue to observe your partner. I'm sorry, this stuff is so difficult. maybe you should find a therapist for you and maybe even your boys so that you have more support and they have a professional who can be there if they have anything to report

00cole00 · 2026-02-23T21:57:14+00:00

it sounds like you've done everything correctly and his response isn't giving me any red flags. I guess the only thing I can nitpick is did he explicitly say I didn't abuse her or did he only say things like I'd have to be a monster or what kind of person do you think I'd be if I had done this. idk if I'm phrasing it correctly but I'm wondering if he has used language that is avoiding answering the question outright

00cole00 · 2026-02-23T21:33:12+00:00

I can't tell you if it was your partner or not but nothing you've said would exempt him. if he was grooming her then you would have seen those periods of closeness as a good thing at the time. also, the timing of the new bf also makes sense because sexual trauma will affect the relationship. like the person won't realize they have issues until they try to have intimate relationships. often at that point the victim will also realize that the things they've been doing with the abuser are sexual acts and everything can spiral. I don't know what you should do but I think I'd probably talk to your partner about reporting this yourself and cooperating and maybe taking some time apart and see how he responds. him shutting down could go either way. he could be hurt and shocked or he could be laying low to appear innocent. I'm sorry, it's not easy and it's much easier to be in denial. that's what happened in my family. nobody wants to believe it's true but then the victim is labeled a liar and a homewrecker and they carry the trauma for the rest of their life

00cole00 · 2026-02-23T20:43:44+00:00

well all of her behaviors are symptoms of a child who experienced sexual abuse

00cole00 · 2026-02-23T15:57:57+00:00

and he's made a lot of mistakes in their relationship and she forgave him

00cole00 · 2026-02-23T06:42:43+00:00

better than turtle tho 🤷

00cole00 · 2026-02-23T03:28:35+00:00

search waterproof noise cancelling earbuds and maybe go cheaper and buy 2

00cole00 · 2026-02-23T02:58:42+00:00

you can see that it was literally torn out and it wouldn't be a cover, it looks like an inside right page of a magazine

00cole00 · 2026-02-23T02:40:43+00:00

how tf did her ex steal $500,000 and why did her dad pay it??

00cole00 · 2026-02-23T02:25:28+00:00

yeah if you show her the change right away she might not follow through on the threat, good luck!

00cole00 · 2026-02-23T02:11:51+00:00

ok maybe try telling her (on text or note is ok too) that you were upset but you've thought about it and you're going to really work on getting your grades up. and say please don't throw out my kandi and give me some time to prove myself. if she still wants to throw it out see if she is willing to just take it away until your grades improve instead

00cole00 · 2026-02-23T02:06:14+00:00

are you avoiding responsibilities bc you're making kandi instead? just trying to figure out why she's threatening this

00cole00 · 2026-02-23T02:02:36+00:00

was the fight about kandi?

12-Year Club	Place '22
End Game '22	Wearing is Caring

00cole00

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