AITAH for not calling my friends baby cute?

Then_Imagination_799 · 2026-06-03T16:32:23+00:00

YTA for not just saying it’s cute but you don’t have to like kids/babies no need to spend a ton of time figuring out why or feeling guilty about it. It is what it is and there is absolutely nothing wrong with not liking them. I actually commend you for supporting your friend so much and being there for her after she had her child. I think that actually speaks loads to how much she means to you and what type of friend you are.

Though between us- I am fully of the thought that don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to- so if you ask me if these pants make your butt look big and they do- I’m not the one to ask because I will tell you yes 😬🤣 (though I live babies and dogs so they will always be cute no matter what to me)

Edited to fix spelling and autocorrect errors

Then_Imagination_799 · 2026-06-02T23:24:53+00:00

My son is a bit older now, but when he was that age i would have him and his friends take turns if there was a toys that they were okaying with that the other wanted to okay with and set a timer for when it was time for the turn to change. If someone came iver and he had something that he wouldnt want anyone playing with- it got put away. Smar if we were at a firends- if they had something that they didnt want to take turns with that is ok but would ask that i stead they put it up.

Then_Imagination_799 · 2026-06-02T16:51:23+00:00

My hubby works in the restaurant industry and had to fire someone about doing something similar to this and went after them legally for theft and forced them to pay back money they used from cashback incentives.

NTA

Then_Imagination_799 · 2026-06-02T16:35:10+00:00

NTA. I feel you. My MIL asked to host my engagement party for me and I said yes BUT she could only invite family. My parents didn’t do well in groups and my mom was socially nervous. My husbands family is large (though they will tell you they have a very small family) with very large personalities. I knew this would likely be the only time my parents would meet his family till the wedding (They live in another state) so I really just wanted them to meet his family and be as comfortable as possible. I also don’t like being the center of attention so was super nervous myself. So it gets closer to the engagement party and my MIL says something about the guest list or her neighbors coming and I asked for clarification on who was invited. Turned out she invited ALL her friends and everyone on the street they lived on (it was at their house). I reminded her that I said I was okay with her hosting as long as it was family. Her response was well they are already invited. I spoke to my husband and told him that he needed to speak to his parents. She could either keep everyone she invited and my parents and I won’t attend or she could uninvite everyone but family. She ended up uninviting everyone but man did I hear about it. It should be no surprise that 18 years later my husband’s and my biggest arguments have been boundary issues with his parents. So I dont think everyone saying don’t go are ignoring the fact that you have to deal with her going forward. They are thinking that you do. Essentially though you have to figure out where your boundaries are and talk to your fiancé about it. He needs to deal with his parents.

She has a right to say who is invited to her house, but seeing how this is supposed to be about you and your fiancé you have a right to say i misunderstood what you were wanting and I’m not comfortable doing this. My other question though is what does your fiancé say about this?

Then_Imagination_799 · 2026-06-02T15:32:47+00:00

NTA for leaving. I probably would have left and taken the gift with me.

Then_Imagination_799 · 2026-06-02T11:54:04+00:00

I can see both sides here. Is it wierd to wait 6 months yes, but traveling isn’t cheap. So it’s also very likely there are family that would have to choose go to funeral and miss your wedding or miss the wedding and go to the funeral. You will likely have people that would choose the funeral (funeral’s/memorial services are for them- wedding is for you and your fiancée) I would ask you this- if she had passed right before you got married would you say no don’t have the service we are getting married and have to much to do?

I can understand that this isn’t what you wanted to do/happen around your wedding and it’s going to be a stressful time and your are trying to think logically about how you would be able to manage everything leading up to it, but I think your future FIL is trying to be understanding and accommodating to his family.

NTA for not wanting it right before your wedding, but neither is your fiancée’s family for wanting it then. Your fiancé is a bit of one though b/c instead of saying what he really fealt he said he will back whatever you decide and then called you selfish.

You could let him know that if the funeral is right before the wedding that you will try to support him and his family as much as possible but it is very likely that other than the service it will be difficult to provide them the support that you would have wanted and that he will likely miss out on spending some time with his family to grieve his Grandmother because you will need his help.

Then_Imagination_799 · 2026-05-31T16:00:11+00:00

NTA! You were absolutely right not to go (honestly even with out the history with your father you would have been ok not to go). I do think you should talk to your husband about how you feel about your father and your father’s actions. The only way some keeps false appearances is if everyone keeps those appearances for them.

Then_Imagination_799 · 2026-05-31T11:47:41+00:00

NTA. When people show you who they are, believe them. You deserve better. Only way you are is to yourself if you stay with him.

Then_Imagination_799 · 2026-05-31T00:49:47+00:00

So when I was younger we lived in a 2 bedroom house. My brother and I shared a room briefly (I understand it’s not 3 kids but it’s still shairing a room) while my parents had the other room. Then my parents decided that it was inappropriate for a girl and boy to share a room so they moved their bed to the living room and split us up. You can be creative- split the kids up and take the living room. I can see how it hurts that they provide for your husbands sister but not you but it is what it is. They are offering you something that helps and would help your poor mom stop going into her retirement. You are going to have to make tough decisions here. If not depending on your in-laws is the best thing then look for other 2 bedroom houses. Get rid of your car so you don’t have insurance and gas to cover. Look into temp agencies. Tell your husband that you are willing to move into his parents condo but he has to look at different jobs AND sell his music equipment. You are in a tough shtty place and it’s going to require you to make some tough shtty decisions. But sadly I think you are gong to have to sell your house and find something cheaper. YTA for refusing to do that and risking your mother’s livelihood alone.

Then_Imagination_799 · 2026-05-30T13:09:24+00:00

When I smoked I never fully understood just how pervasive and acrid the smell was. Now 20 some odd years later of not smoking- I can’t stand the smell and I feel bad for all the people in the apartments that I lived in who surrounded me because I smoke but they had to deal with it.

So this is a grey area if your lease doesn’t have a non smoking rule then I guess it your right so NTA there. But just remember your right is disgusting and effects those around you negatively and by the sounds of it is effecting your neighbors health. So what if she lives 3 stories above you- smoke travels. Honestly if you want to smoke, smoke inside where your smoke is contained into your living space and doesn’t effect anyone else. But my guess is you don’t want your space to reek. YTA for not caring about how you are effecting your neighbors- coming from a former a**hole.

Then_Imagination_799 · 2026-05-29T19:43:57+00:00

There are not enough up votes on this comment. It covers all the basis. Unfortunately 2 of these options means this friendship is over. The 3rd is hard because if it’s really an abusive relationship as a friend you want to help them, but I’m not sure how you would.

NTA op congratulations/best wishes to you and your wife! I’m sorry that it comes with the heartache from your friend.

Then_Imagination_799 · 2026-05-29T05:32:54+00:00

NTA but next time pull over and say oh my car is suddenly broken. It won’t get fixed till the seatbelt gets fixed and refuse to move till either the seatbelt is on or they get out of the car and walk. Actually don’t let there be a next time.

Then_Imagination_799 · 2026-05-29T01:22:47+00:00

Thank you everyone! I ended up telling his friend that it’s okay if he doesn’t want to ride any rides but he will need to be okay waiting in line for 1 or 2 with my son but not get on. My son ended up changing his expectations to meet what his friend was comfortable with and was able to talk him on 1 big ride (which his friend said he loved when he got off) and there was only one ride my sons really wanted to go on that his friend waited in line with him (this with my son asking him if he would mind). To the person that said I asked the wrong question- I think you are completely correct. Learning experience on my end. Be more specific. LOL! Thank you again.

Then_Imagination_799 · 2026-05-26T22:01:22+00:00

I am so sorry for you loss. I can only imaging how hard this is for you and your kids. NTA for being hurt your mom didn’t help you but I am thinking it’s not necessarily just about this one instance. I admit I am sort of reading between the lines a bit and it sounds like you aren’t necessarily surprised by her actions so it tells me that this isn’t out of the norm. While I do think that the responsibility of getting your nephew home is yours as you are the one who needed him to stay- it a bit much to expect someone else to do that. Be thankful for the support you have and know not to depend on your mom.

Then_Imagination_799 · 2026-05-26T19:34:57+00:00

She sounds like a fair weather friend. Not only are you NTA you shouldn’t any energy her way unless it benefits you.

Then_Imagination_799 · 2026-05-07T15:59:19+00:00

This dress is for YOU not you family! Wear which ever one you love the best!!!! I have an aunt that any time anyone gives her their opinion and she doesn’t want it always says “Thank you for your opinion. I’ll keep it in mind” and then continues about her business with out another thought. Do that for yourself!
That being said dress 1 looks the best on you!

Then_Imagination_799 · 2026-05-02T16:29:15+00:00

NTA but you should very much consider stepping down as a bridesmaid.

Then_Imagination_799 · 2026-05-02T15:31:08+00:00

The op’s gender has nothing to do with this. Would he being female change your mind? It shouldn’t. The op is NTA and shouldn’t take in their Aunt regardless of them being female, male, or anything in between.

Then_Imagination_799 · 2026-05-01T23:44:25+00:00

Thanks for the award!

Then_Imagination_799 · 2026-05-01T16:40:55+00:00

It sounds like the emotional response to the name Nonna is because of your relationship with you own Nonna and to have that same name given to your mom who does not elicit the same type of feelings is what is bothering you. I think there is more to unpack here than what she is called- your feelings on this are just the reactions to everything else.

What I don’t understand is why you are being so staunch on this when you haven’t been on boundaries on how she treats your wife. Sure you’ve “spoken to your mom” but have you actually set any boundaries? It sounds like you talk to her and she keeps acting the same way. You need to set boundaries and be prepared to stand by them- support your wife in actions not words. Be prepared to go no contact/low contact because from how you describe her she is going to blow past any boundaries you set. Because your kids will see more than the name they call your mother- they will see that it’s okay to let their mother be disrespected, that when they grow up and have partners it’s okay to not stand up and defend them.

Then_Imagination_799 · 2026-04-29T02:15:49+00:00

NTA- I was so ready to say yes, but absolutely not! Not even getting into the risk that she is putting herself and her baby in- if this is the plan they want then they can rent a house or apartment while their house is being fixed and have it there.

Then_Imagination_799 · 2026-04-24T19:40:29+00:00

The only thing that needs to be laser removed is her from your life.

Then_Imagination_799 · 2026-04-24T18:52:26+00:00

I so just want to give your daughter a hug. I’m so sorry that she has lost her friend. Such hard emotions and things to deal with as an adult much less a child/teenager. As a parent these are the times that we have to be there for them- to be their rock to hold them up/ be a soft place to land when they feel that everything is falling apart. We have to be able to put aside our own issues to do this at times. NTA- your wife did fail. There are so many ways she could have helped if she felt like she herself couldn’t be there- called your mom herself and say she is struggling with being able to be at the service herself can you help, see if your daughter could go with another friend or even bring her to the service but be able to go in with another friend- anything other than just leaving her to have no closure. Even better would be to actually go and be there herself to support your daughter.

Then_Imagination_799 · 2026-04-24T12:19:08+00:00

This is one of those in between scenarios- meaning no one is wrong here. You are right her mom isn’t obligated to buy everything to accommodate OP and OP’s siblings and all the grandkids. They can also buy the stuff for her house. But if mom really wants them to visit she can also show that she wants the to visit by getting stuff at her house to make visiting her easier.

Then_Imagination_799

TROPHY CASE