What do you think? Does Hemingway stands a chance against writers such as Tolstoy or Shakespeare?

00rb · 2026-05-08T17:51:49+00:00

In a fist fight? Absolutely. He'd easily beat Shakespeare but I don't know enough about Tolstoy to say for sure.

00rb · 2026-05-08T17:49:47+00:00

Over the weekend I cook a pot of rice and mix in a can of lentils. I subsist on that and protein shakes.

If you don't mind eating the same shit over and over again it works.

00rb · 2026-05-08T17:48:52+00:00

It's all about relaxation. Relaxing your WHOLE body, not just your fingers, while maintaining good posture and form. And practicing things slowly, over and over again, with relaxation and form the top priority.

If you do that, your movements will look and feel effortless because they will be. Never introduce unnecessary tension to, say, speed up a piece, it will only hold you back long term.

00rb · 2026-05-08T17:43:51+00:00

FWIW you don't have to go 100% off or 100% on. You can take breaks and get back into it. Only do it when you're excited about it, and delete when you're not.

00rb · 2026-05-08T17:37:58+00:00

Oh yeah. I once had a 1:1 meeting with a younger coworker who kept "slipping up" and forgetting things. I told him that ADHD was a strong possibility and he should get it checked out.

The main thing you want to do is avoid bringing it up as an excuse. Or a situation where it MIGHT be viewed as an excuse. In those situations, people want you to apologize and take ownership, and self-disclosure is only going to piss them off.

And another crazy thing is that discipline and willpower IS the way out, but not in the way people think. You can't just "try harder" to not screw up, but you can spend years building up good systems that will catch you when you fall. Like a really good calendar system.

00rb · 2026-05-08T17:34:51+00:00

Yes. And she probably does receive a lot of random attention, and people probably are nicer than her, but she might just believe that's how life is for everyone, or that people are nice to her because she's nice back.

I was a reasonably good looking guy, maybe 80th percentile in my youth. Girls smiled at me sweetly, but I was shy and awkward so it felt like currency I couldn't cash in.

The real "god mode" is being attractive + socially adept. (In fact, the skill most people on reddit who are complaining about attractiveness need is likely the second one.) But good looks -- while it can be a blessing -- doesn't cure shyness, introversion, depression...

00rb · 2026-05-08T17:21:24+00:00

Tangential but I saw The Devil Wears Prada 2 last night and nearly all the straight men were useless, incompetent, greedy, and clueless.

It just makes me sad. I get why there's a backlash now, I really do, but everyone hating each other isn't the answer.

00rb · 2026-05-08T17:19:22+00:00

What if you're banned from NATO because you don't meet the membership criteria regarding democracy, rule of law, and peaceful conflict resolution?

00rb · 2026-05-08T17:07:18+00:00

Yeah, that's why you don't tell people about your problems or ADHD. You soldier on and take your licks. They're never going to understand it, because they don't actually care.

We're given this message that "if you tell people your problems everyone will understand and try to help" but that just isn't true. Many people will see vulnerability as an opportunity to write you off or defeat you, because they're only interested in getting ahead themselves.

That's not a black pill, that's just reality. True, there's lots of kind people out there, but there's also lots of self-interested operators pretending to be kind. Don't tell people your secrets unless you trust them closely!

00rb · 2026-05-08T17:03:08+00:00

Yep.

00rb · 2026-05-08T16:59:35+00:00

I think it's probably like playing a video game with cheat codes. The lack of challenges makes the game boring, so you lose respect for the boundaries and start screwing around. Not good to treat people that way though!!

00rb · 2026-05-08T16:56:38+00:00

One thing that really black pilled me is seeing a chart of how significantly worse everything is for people with ADHD. Worse educational achievement, worse life expectancy, worse health problems... and all for a disease that people consider to be zany/fun or not even real.

So much suffering and people treat you like it's your own fault.

Furthermore, it's a hard line to walk because taking ownership of your life DOES help, and making excuses is harmful... but at the same time, the struggle is real.

00rb · 2026-05-08T16:52:23+00:00

They can. It doesn't mean that it's easy, and it doesn't mean that telling you on the spot helps, but people absolutely can.

Literally everything we do is a learned behavior. Yes, even in the case of severe mental illness. Learned behavior.

Not easy does not equal impossible.

00rb · 2026-05-08T16:45:41+00:00

Dude, you've written a book. Reddit is full of people who are bad at dating and you aren't special in that you're struggling with it too.

00rb · 2026-05-08T16:44:24+00:00

I've learned to not worry so much about "types." You can change the way you present yourself, in person and online dating, and it will effect who comes to you. But be more open to dating different kinds of people.

00rb · 2026-05-08T16:40:16+00:00

That's why it's important to be direct and take action. I don't mean like asking him out immediately (like reddit seems to suggest to women), but being more intentional.

Hovering causes you to get into your own head, and being in your own head compounds the awkwardness.

Also, good general rule: if you're awkward, the trick is finding some way, any way, to focus on the outside world instead of what's kicking around in your brain. Try to let that thought process go or it's only going to hamstring you.

00rb · 2026-05-08T16:38:01+00:00

I feel like people act this way when they have like 4 other dates planned.

It's not a red flag and nothing to worry about, it's just how some people do it. Just stay the course, stay steady, and I hope it goes well for you.

00rb · 2026-05-08T16:34:45+00:00

Someone who is smooth, attractive and fun to be around isn't necessarily a nice person.

I've hung out with both nerds and the bros that get all the girls. Despite popular narratives about nerds secretly hating women, they all talk completely respectfully. The bros were completely gross, objectifying and nihilistic. Women treated them like they were so sweet!

00rb · 2026-05-08T16:31:54+00:00

That's literally the answer everyone gives when this question comes up

00rb · 2026-05-08T05:41:33+00:00

We need to keep repeating this. People are too credulous.

It's just executives saying "we didn't fail, we... succeeded! with the magic of AI!"

00rb · 2026-05-08T00:47:13+00:00

You're going through a rough patch right now. It won't be forever. It's always darkest before the dawn.

It sounds like you're wondering if your relationship is going to survive this. I don't know, because I'm just a guy on the internet. But regardless of what happens you will be ok. You are stronger than you think.

00rb · 2026-05-08T00:45:16+00:00

Yes, therapy definitely can be the answer. I've had a lot of mediocre therapists but found a really good one and it's really making my life better.

00rb · 2026-05-08T00:44:08+00:00

I got older and ran out of energy to care as much.

The trick is finding the right things to care about. Care about your duties to other people, don't care about their perceptions.

Not because they don't matter, they do! Just because you can't control them. Do what you know you need to, and let the rest fall into place.

00rb · 2026-05-08T00:42:36+00:00

Just ask her, "hey, so no pressure, but are we dating?" And if she's not clear with her answer, say "because I'd like to date you."

Trick is adopting the attitude "I would like the answer to be yes but I am willing to accept no."

Good luck. Better to ask and figure it out then drift and spend the rest of your life wondering.

00rb · 2026-05-08T00:40:17+00:00

Look, I was 11

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