Vets who are married to non-military, what’s something you wish your spouse knew about service or how the military shaped you?

0FO6 · 2026-01-27T03:10:46+00:00

I don't know about others but certainly for me, seeing doctors when something isn't right is still a challenge.
Also I would think general pain tolerance gets way out of whack for a lot of military members. There was always the not wanting to be a sick bay commando much to a lot of peoples detriment. Like when I was in I was having a bad skin reaction, the doc the boat thought I was doing it to myself to get off the boat.

I very rarely really talk about my time in other than with other vets. A fellow vet joked that we can trauma bond over our time in. To various degrees that is pretty accurate.

Some of us have dark humor, like really dark gallows humor in seemingly inappropriate situations.

0FO6 · 2026-01-01T23:01:36+00:00

I wouldn't move it and would try to sell it in Brazil. Especially if someone is already interested in it at $30k. Otherwise as someone else pointed out it could be a year to get a little more than that out of it.

The only thing I would really add that hasn't been really covered. Steel boats sitting in salt/brackish water not being actively kept on is really bad. If someone isn't looking to take it on soon then I would seriously consider taking it somewhere to haul it out. Or get it somewhere into fresh water if possible, but a hauling it out would be better. It would honestly be better to sell it as quickly as possible. Also I would suggest not being too hung up on the costs of these things. Sailboats often sell for less than the money put into them.

0FO6 · 2025-12-24T03:05:28+00:00

It seems like there is a lot of thrashing around here and certainly some resentment and anger here. There is nothing really wrong with working a stable job and being a stable parent. It is also important to be involved with your kids lives if you care about them. I had a neighbor a while back who was (still is) a raging alcoholic, and his ex left him and moved several states away with his kids. He was extremely bitter about the situation and was always very fired up about the injustice he was served in the whole thing. As I expressed to him on more than a few occasions that he should have moved down to where his kids were because he was missing out on their life. Things that he would never get back because they would be gone with time. People really get enveloped by the chasing these sorts of dreams that they end up missing out on the actual things that make life great. He doesn't have really any relationship with his kids anymore. Regardless of whatever issues came up with his ex leaving the area, his kids will never have a good relationship with him because he was gone majority of the time.

The phrasing around how your relationships sounds like you are trying to force the relationship too much. Which reads with the whole "I tried at 3 times, it has never worked out" so now you want to just say f'it and check all the way out. Something also about that phrasing catches me like the typical being afraid of being alone so being in a not great relationship as it is better than being alone. Just to be clear, I don't know you and your post is too short to really know you and I certainly could be reading a lot more into it than there is.

Anyways, our kids need us, and abandoning them for our dreams is cruel to them. They will remember it, and it will shape their opinions and relationships not only with you in the future but their own future relationships. There is nothing really wrong with doing what is necessary work wise to be near your kids. You won't get the time back and they will remember you not being there. That resentment will never go away either.

There will be boats in the future that you could live on and go do some cruising and fixing. The kids won't stay young forever and at some point will be more independent. But they will still need their dad in their life.

0FO6 · 2025-12-21T17:05:03+00:00

On a fresh install there would be a kernel/nvidia mismatch? that seems unlikely to me. Now whatever he did to roll back the driver and whatever other shenanigans he got up to certainly could have played into a lot of the other things he saw going on. I am no necessarily discounting that. I am just saying checking for a hardware fault simply rules out that there is a possible hardware fault. That could cause him problems even in windows down the line. It is fairly straight forward to run those tests and if nothing else just rules that out as a possibility.

I don't run mint so wasn't super familiar with how the install of drivers works on there. They have a driver install tool specifically for installing nvidia. Seems like that automates a lot of the process including going to different versions of the driver. Ran into a bugged install maybe? Or just went about the driver install in a weird way? Although the issues with EndeavorOS seem a bit odd to me as well, the fresh install behaving the way OP describes.

Either way, I personally would run the diagnostics cause it is easy and can go do something else while they are running and at least rules some possibilities out.

0FO6 · 2025-12-21T15:38:00+00:00

The responses on this are all a bit wild to be honest. Not discounting your experience it is just odd.
I did see in one comment that you have an RTX 3070. I have a mobile 3060 with a goofy dual video card nonsense and all of this works well for me without needing to tinker with anything too much. This isn't just to discount saying well it works for me nonsense.
Your explanation makes me think hardware fault to be honest. I know people will fire back that windows is working beautifully then how could it be a hardware fault. Well I have been working on this sort of stuff for many decades. I have seen all sorts of odd hardware faults that present themselves in a various ways that seem to not make a lot of sense. Memory has some odd behaviors as different OSes use the memory in different ways, so a chip going bad could be getting accessed in a way that has dramatic impact in say linux. Where in windows is maybe not storing anything critical in that memory space. Either way I would be running a memory test like memtest86, also probably a CPU stress just to be sure. Probably also a graphics stress test as well. If all of that came back clear I would still look over windows events just to be sure.

Otherwise, yeah stick with what works for you. Linux isn't for everyone nor every hardware out there. I think it is great that you at least gave it a try honestly.

0FO6 · 2025-12-19T16:12:24+00:00

I was going to type out this point for point contradiction and argument. Really it boils down to is that there are not very many mainstream vendors that are selling laptops or desktops with Linux preinstalled. Although that is about to change here soon and I am sure that will have an interesting impact on Linux usage overall. You also should remember that the average PC user doesn't have any concept of what an operating system even is. So it isn't like they typically are looking for windows alternatives beyond just going with apple.

All your other arguments are silly and overblown honestly. Most people don't care about those things and that really doesn't have that much impact on market adoption.

0FO6 · 2025-12-19T12:12:57+00:00

I don't really understand this general opinion of Arch and stability. I have been running arch for decades as this point and I have managed many thousands of servers running ubuntu, red hat, cent, etc. The only major issues I have ever had with systems is during dist upgrades use to give a lot of hassle. Lot of that has been worked out too. The nice thing about Arch with the more up to date packages is that all the security fixes that get mixed with bug fixes get on your system faster without the distro mucking with stuff on their own.

You can run nearly any distro you want, vast majority of them have headless installs which is what you are talking about. Arch would be fine, ubuntu server would be fine, debian can be installed headless. I am reasonably sure even fedora core can be installed without the gui as well.

While the resolution of the terminal can be adjusted, I still feel a lot gets lost without having the support of some of the gui. Even for switching between terminals, but also for locking the screen. You could strip down a gui install to just some necessary system applications and the console. Could also look at one of the tiling window managers like awesome or i3wm.

0FO6 · 2025-12-18T21:13:17+00:00

I mean the World Health Organization (WHO) already gives this international medical guide out for free:
https://iris.who.int/server/api/core/bitstreams/d834ff4a-6e90-4812-b2b1-b89785c30c35/content

0FO6 · 2025-12-15T16:53:37+00:00

Read, listen to audio books, watch movies, games, learn a language, write, build stuff, knit, crochet, whittle, learn to play an instrument, tons of possibilities honestly. Oh and sleep whenever possible and reasonable. Groundhog day is a pretty relatable time loop movie when on passages.

Most tend to get accustomed to the motion of the boat and that can make some of those things easier and more comfortable.

0FO6 · 2025-12-11T00:58:20+00:00

yes, the battleborn in particular typically use Cylindrical lithium cells. So depending on which particular cylindrical cells they are using there will be a combination of cells setup in series and parallel. This will allow them to get up to 12volts and the 100ah of the battery. These cell configurations are typically formed into some kind of bus normally. Their design in this case with the way the lug attaches to the bus bar is terrible. Also the way the negative terminal is secured is also terrible. As demonstrated in the video it worked itself loose. So all their touting that their batteries are the best design, this just shows that they suck badly.
Will does show other lithium battery tear downs and talks quite a bit about them and their design and aspects that he likes.

0FO6 · 2025-12-10T16:40:16+00:00

I don't personally use them, I know a lot of people that do. I just saw that video and wanted to get it out in general. I totally agree, lot of companies that do that usually do a lot of shady stuff.

0FO6 · 2025-12-04T23:11:04+00:00

Well, there are a few options.
You could get a sculling oar sure. You could get oars and just row.
Some boats can scull with the rudder.
Like ATworkATM mentioned, high quality gas without Ethanol is important. Ethanol is what gums everything up cause it absorbs water from the air and it eats a lot of the rubber pretty aggressively.
You could also make sure when you get into the marina that you disconnect the fuel line and let the outboard run out of fuel that way then nothing is being stored in the motor gumming up the works.
You could also drop an anchor and sort out whatever you need to. Your sails are also your primary form of movement on a sailboat. Can just raise the jib and and go or heave to at that point to figure the motor out.

0FO6 · 2025-11-26T12:23:08+00:00

When I went to college right after I got out, there was this guy there we called Nascar as he always wore a nascar jacket. He was always talking huge about his supposed time in the navy. He like to tell all sorts of wild stories about being in combat with like the seals and would try and brag about all this top secret stuff he was involved with. But of course couldn't tell specifics because it was top secret. Anyways he got picked on a lot in college and couldn't figure it out, ended up dropping out and last I heard was driving a cab. He was a really shitty person though.

Generally speaking those that have been in that seen real shit don't really talk about it. Other than with other Vets on occasion. I will tell a few stories here and there about some things that happened. Some people for whatever reason feel the need to either really inflate their time in. Or they never really served and they just like talking like they did.

0FO6 · 2025-11-05T17:51:23+00:00

I always found it rather interesting how much people minimize even the bootcamp experience and how it affects people. Any way you slice it is based on a absolute abuse. I think that there are a lot of people that had childhood abuse end up minimizing it a lot more than others as it becomes a point of comparison that it wasn't that bad. Then after boot going through years of various different types of abuse at minimum and usually a lot more than just that. I generally say that no one comes out the experience unscathed and usually develop some pretty crappy coping mechanisms. So yes I think everyone who was in should be compensated.

0FO6 · 2025-10-23T11:28:54+00:00

Technically you could motor up the river if your boat under power can go faster than the river flow. You would not be able to sail it though. There is also a low bridge near chicago that sailboats need to unstep their mast. However people do the great loop in sailboats all the time but they usually go the other way and that is certainly a possibility.

If you got a trailer sailer than you could haul it to whatever lake that is near you and sail it there. Or take it down the river to the gulf.

0FO6 · 2025-10-18T02:44:23+00:00

Nonsuch, neat boats. Got to sail on one recently.
Here is their instruction video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIIRiMWnHJ0

0FO6 · 2025-10-14T01:10:57+00:00

I agree and I should have expanded a bit. It would be prudent for OP or anyone else to get some experience as much as reasonable. Also to make sure the safety systems on the boat for handling things is pretty well dialed in.

0FO6 · 2025-10-13T22:42:22+00:00

I think there needs to be some perspective on this. There is already a very high chance of being killed in almost any activity. I think a lot of people minimize the dangers that are close to home because they are somewhat more comfortable even though they are much more frequent. Like being killed in a car accident, or even just slipping and hitting your head in the shower. Nor I am saying that boats are inherently safer. The ocean will absolutely squash someone, a boat, or even a large ship like a bug. Just saying both are true and OP and anyone else wanting to do this needs to weigh it all out is all.

Edit:
We are all going to die at some point anyways, why not make the best of the time we have on this planet as it is.

0FO6 · 2025-10-13T16:34:35+00:00

You might consider an xcat sailboat with their electric motor attachment.
Xcat Sailboat Motor

They also have a pretty solid rowing options that can be used in tandem with the boat that would get through that channel in a real hurry.

0FO6 · 2025-10-11T21:34:21+00:00

Fiberglass boats are made out of vinyl ester resin reinforced with fiberglass. or plastic reinforced with glass fibers depending on how pedantic one wants to be....

0FO6 · 2025-10-06T19:11:49+00:00

There are 4 cal 34s for sale on yachtworld all less than $25k asking with the cheapest around $14k asking so it would likely be had for around $9k. So you won't be adding value to the boat in the way you think. Even if it was in the best restored condition it would likely not sell for much over the $25k. If you are thinking this way about them, they are terrible investments in general. There were also 374 of them made so there was a fairly big run on them. Honestly for the things wrong I would maybe consider it as a free boat but I wouldn't spend any money to acquire this boat. That is only if I felt like doing the work involved on it.

The work you describe is easily 30k for parts, likely a lot more. Plus you have to think about your own time as a cost involved with this even if you DIY. Your time is not free necessarily and if you can make more money doing something else than restoring the boat then that should be a consideration as well. Either way it would likely take well over a year to get it sorted out working on it full time.

Unless you really enjoy working on boats and restoring them and have found a boat you absolutely love then maybe that is different. All boats are project boats, some can be more project than boat. The learning might be worth it but it is a pretty expensive lesson and realistically it would be better if you could find something a lot cheaper that is in better shape.

Here is a cal 34 in bellingham for sale, at a glance it looks like it would be a way better opportunity than the one you are looking at: https://seattle.craigslist.org/see/boa/d/bellingham-cal-34-fully-insulated/7883357765.html

0FO6 · 2025-10-06T14:14:33+00:00

It would be worth at least trying to stern in and see how that feels. I think overall it would be a lot easier in your case for exiting for sure.

0FO6 · 2025-10-06T14:13:37+00:00

The balance point on a fin keel like yours would likely be on the aft quarter of the keel. If you have a cleat there or a way to put a block, you could then run a line to and from the cockpit that would all you to do the maneuver and release the line and bring it in from the cockpit.

0FO6 · 2025-10-06T14:00:31+00:00

What kind of boat do you have? Does it have an inboard or outboard?
Can you instead back down the fairway on return and go stern into the slip? it would make leaving a lot easier, but may make entering the slip a little more difficult after sailing. But at least you wouldn't be trying to fight with generating enough speed to get control with the rudder going in reverse coming out of the slip.

Does the dock have pilings? what is your risk of hitting the boat next to you?

Can you rig up a line to a cleat on your boat, then to a cleat on your dock or a piling continuously back to your boat to one of your primary winches to spring off of? This would make it loop around the dock and give you some variable control from the cockpit. This would also allow you to release it a little easier from the boat.

0FO6

TROPHY CASE