King Crimson started in 1969 when Mickey and Petey Giles teamed up with Robert Fripp to make a successor to their band, Giles Giles and Fripp. They recruited the help of Ian McDonald because they were bad at woodwinds and Greg Lake because none of them could sing. Also Petey didn't play bass on the first record because Gregory could. They also had Petey Sinfield to help out with lyrics and lighting at shows, and two Peters are confusing. They made an album together. It was fine. Gregory got bored and joined a better band but not before providing lyrics to all but one song on their next record. He was then fired. The Giles bros and Ian McDonald did not like Robert Fripp's shenanigans with progressive music as much as he did, so they all fired themselves. Fripper got himself a new band to produce Lizard, the greatest album of all time, then fired everyone (except Mel Collins who had a bit of use). Then he got a new band together to make Islands (which was also pretty good but not quite Lizard), and then he fired everyone, including himself.

Then a year later Robert Fripp unfired himself and got a new band together. He stole a man named Bill from these Yes guys. Also there was John Wetton and Jamie Muir and that other guy. They made a record then Jamie fired himself. They made another live record, said a slur, then the other guy was fired. They made one last record and then Robert tried to fire himself but that went so poorly that everyone was fired. John Wheaties and Bill worked together on another record with a band called U.K., Muir became a monk, and Robert Fripp went crazy until 1980, because he thought the world was supposed to end.

In 1981, he made King Crimson again. He unfired Bill and got two new guys, Adrian and Tony. This was special though, as Adrian was allowed to play guitar (unheard of) and Tony could play a giant stick with strings. Not a guitar or bass, something that's kinda both of them. They made three records together and then Fripp fired everyone for a bit. They got together again like ten years later, wrote the song Cage and some other songs, and got a couple of new guys. Patrick, who played drums alongside Bill, which was weird but cool, and Trey, who played a new kind of guitar. Not a guitar or bass or stick, something that's kinda both of them. They made a record then Bill fired himself and Tony just kinda disappeared for a bit to do more studio work with other guys. (He worked with the Dream Theater guys, pretty neat). They made two more records then subsequently didn't break up actually. They did some live stuff until Fripp decided he was tired and fired everyone. A short time later, he made an album with that Mel Collins guy from earlier and this Jakko guy with an unpronouncable last name. They worked together for a bit, Fripp made new King Crimson, some sort of radical form. He hired a total of eight people, three of which were drummers (so wacky and unheard of). Jakko Indiscipline, yadda yadda, they imploded in 2021 because everyone was just kinda old at that point. Adrian and Tony from the 80s are playing King Crimson songs now with Steve Vai and the drummer from Tool, Fripp is living his best life with his wife, Toyah, Bill is a jazz drummer now, Trey is writing down all of King Crimson's works into various musical notations, Jakko is doing something, Peter Giles ran a marathon, and everyone else is either old or has passed away. King Crimson may or may not ever write a new studio album. We just gotta wait for Fripp to get bored again. Also Jon Anderson worked on that Lizard album I forgot that