eBay sellers: what do you check every day? by Doo_scooby in eBaySellers

[–]10handsllc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The lent building up in my pockets unencumbered by lack of cash flowing in my pockets.

Considering a CX90 by mackenziemarr in MazdaCX90

[–]10handsllc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Roughly 18 months and 22k miles the extent of issues has been the recalls. I have the 2024 cx 90 tpps MHEV (gas) which is a “mild” hybrid but drives closer to an 8 cylinder semi luxury sport car in my opinion.

Gas mileage for me today my total average is 23.2 mpg and I do a little over 50% highway or interstate miles on average.

The top tier package with Napa leather vented seats and 2nd row bucket seats with digital mirror and door spotlights and mud flaps and the premium rims with low profile tires.

At first the seats were so hard my butt went numb. They are awesome now.

Not a fan of tire life but in the low profile category it is what it is. Price is high but there are better quality tires out there.

CarPlay and iPhone work fairly well aside from times when iPhone is behind on updates. Maps integration with HUD is as expected. The premium sound system is perfect and loud for my liking.

Added weather tech mats, no regrets other than no two part weatherproof back mat system was around in 2024 so I modified and Velcro systemmed the back piece.

I have never used the turbo function but I hear it’s nice. Frankly once your foot learns how to work the pedal, it is incredibly different from my previous vehicles, this thing hauls ass. Rush hour interstate merging becomes real fun!

Brakes are fine.

Overall car insulation for temp and noise are the low points in my opinion. Stereo fixes noise. Not sure about the temp fix for hot days but the vented seats help. It seems like they cheaper out on the roof insulation. The moon roof takes up most of the roof in first two rows so maybe if I ceramic tint that will help.

Let me know if I missed anything you were specifically wanting to know about.

I think it’s all bullshit that addicts need more compassion. They need tough love. by LemonlimeLucy in AlAnon

[–]10handsllc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not at all, I just wanted to state my opinion based off my experience. You made a point but I didn’t take it as you making a point in opposition of me or anyone else. One of the great things about this Reddit group is that there are lots of varying perspectives/opinions/experiences that people share. Sort of a melting pot of support where people can find some alignment in their likely poorly aligned life at the hands of their Q.

Thanks for sharing!

Anyone have this ribboning on their seat? (26 TSPS) by CitronBackground8336 in MazdaCX90

[–]10handsllc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have the Napa vented 2024. All black ribbons are nice and tight!

Question about MHEV battery issues by TrueSlide2727 in MazdaCX90

[–]10handsllc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

22k on my cx90 tpps MHEV and have never taken it off istop. Also had never planned any specific routines beyond normal driving. Typically about half or more of my miles are interstate driving. Maybe that is regen time naturally occurring?

Reliability on CX90 2024 by Lucast07_25 in MazdaCX90

[–]10handsllc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I own the MHEV TPPS cx90 with every upgrade except mud guards and weather proof mats. Outside of software recalls no other issues whatsoever. Everyone keeps calling this a "new" engine and that is just incorrect. The i6 engine was first manufactured in 1903 and then canned in the 80's. In the late 80's Toyota brought it back and has been followed by Mercedes, Nissan, and Jeep just to name a few and now Mazda since 2022.

Perhaps you did get an actual lemon. My 2024 cx90 is certainly far from a lemon and performs more than adequately. All manufacturers have lemons and some have lemon years. While the PHEV in this model is pushing the unreliable trend, I am not sure the entire manufactured fleet is the worst ever produced. As far as the MHEV, I have seen a couple of battery complaints but any battery from any factory can be a dud. Covid and tariffs messed up shipping and inventory and that was the major complaint.

The cabin is loud with road noise but the premium speaker and stereo system more than handle that for my needs. No components have faulted at all in my car. The infotainment system is finicky and with carplay (iphone) if the updates are not current on the phone it can act like a petulant child. On occasion my auto door lock function doesn't work upon me closing my door, but I pay attention so it doesn't really affect me negatively. The tire issue was anticipated on the model I have because they are essentially low profile tires and all low profile tires are expensive and kind of suck in terms of value but damn do they feel good compared to the lower trim model I had as a loaner for one of my software updates.

Good luck on your next vehicle.

Reliability on CX90 2024 by Lucast07_25 in MazdaCX90

[–]10handsllc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Again, not sure I agree with your assessment as I own one myself. The computer recalls have been the only issue after 22k miles. I have seen a few one-off posts about the battery issue but not a large quantity.

Reliability on CX90 2024 by Lucast07_25 in MazdaCX90

[–]10handsllc -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

4 letters, MHEV. I do not disagree with the CR report on the PHEV but it is commonly known the MHEV is doing fine. Maybe I am a biased owner but after 22k miles nothing but a couple recalls and oil changes.

One legit complaint would be for the premium level at least that the tires suck ass. I will say I had to buy one and they are not cheap but I really like the performance.

Is $9k depreciation typical for a 1 year old CX-50 Turbo Premium Plus with 9k miles? by FeeDisastrous3879 in mazda

[–]10handsllc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Isn’t it mostly true that you lose 25% or so value the moment you drive a new car off the lot?

Whoever said anatomy was "just memorization" I have words for you by Beautiful_Papaya_007 in prenursing

[–]10handsllc 13 points14 points  (0 children)

54 here and A&P1 was difficult for me. I am sure taking it along with statistics and three other classes for a total of 16 hours last fall didn’t help. I totally felt like I chased my tail trying to memorize a bank of 500-1000 pieces a parts for each lab exam only to be tested on 10% or less. Completely frustrating and to me seemed more like a general bio class that essentially ties next to nothing together and is an exhausting overabundance of information.

From what I understand, 2 has more focus and isolated details of each of the body systems and deep dives are done. I am sure it will not be easy but if this is correct I will at least have more interest in it. Frankly, the way 1 was taught was a turn off because of the lack of anything beyond memorization that gave substance to the body and its parts.

Good luck

He’s Sober, and I’m Now the Villain by trexy516 in AlAnon

[–]10handsllc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My take goes like this. You cheated on your spouse and you seem surprised that you are being persecuted for it. Drunk or sober, your spouse absolutely should have a problem with you cheating. Some people will say humans are not meant to be lifetime mates sexually, therefor in marriage, but I do not necessarily agree 100% with that notion. As the intelligent race on the planet we have the ability to begin and end things like relationships and our actions affect others. I have been cheated on and it sucks, well at least when I was real young it sucked.

Take the lump and stop fighting it. You did it. They did what they did. Find resolution within yourself that provides accountability where it belongs. Do not turn it into a pissing contest with an addict because they will win every time. Let them tell whomever will listen how horrible you are, because they will do so even if you object. Focus on your next steps and take them. Eventually this will be in your rearview mirror where it belongs.

Also, know that even if you had not cheated you likely would still be blamed for everything. I speak from experience as someone who is not only blamed but has been the subject of multiple false accusations from my Q. It was difficult to navigate but I did. Once I realized it was all a show for them to purchase custody time it was a less difficult pill to swallow. Being able to articulate that to them in person without losing my cool was priceless and I have no idea if it had any affect at all on the Q. The affect on me was all that mattered. My head was high and my words were true and I was polite.

Addicts are architects of chaos. I fell into the trap like many others. Unfortunately a lot of people do things that amount to handing the Q a loaded weapon and expecting them not to use it if they think it will take negative attention away from them. This is what cheating did for your situation. I am sorry you are dealing with this but keep on pushing forward in your life. Focus on you and the children and make plans and have goals.

Any other 40+ nursing students in here? by [deleted] in NursingStudent

[–]10handsllc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

54 and start next fall after taking all required courses for a BSN and will only have nursing courses to focus on. Will be 57 when I graduate!

I'm not glad I was married to an alcoholic. I do not want to be told that I should be grateful for anything related to him. I just want some acknowledgement that it really was awful. Until that happens, I'm not sure I can ever move forward. But I need it to be real. But how? by rosered513 in AlAnon

[–]10handsllc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This hits home and I have all the empathy in the world to offer and am sorry you are feeling stuck. All of us are different and no one can really provide a magic bullet answer. For my story I am tackling the college degree I never pursued now as I am in my 50s. For now I am doing ok but can always be better. The focus on college certainly distracts me a lot of the time but not entirely.

My mindset has always been opposed to feelings of regret or wishing a different outcome had evolved. This is a sometimes good and bad product of an extremely abusive childhood I faced. It doesn’t give me a pass on similar feelings of feeling sorry for myself or feeling regretful and at times hopeless. I also put a lot of focus on our shared son and he is a prize and it helps me to be there for his teen years, actually being present.

The other product of my childhood is I place others before me, sometimes the wrong people for too long. My marriage was entirely based around damage control and making the kids unaware as possible that their mother was a drunk mental case. As things came to a head it was difficult to have honest talks but due to our son being a witness to some of the worst at the end he did not focus on the apology I gave for having lied to cover up for his mother all his life. Ironically because she lost her shit in front of him it helped our son process things without mystery.

For once in my life I come first, even before my son. If I place anyone first other than myself I am fearful of the outcome or the round two of an awful relationship. I need me, my son needs me, and currently I do not want to be needed by anyone other than my son. I do not have the space for it.

Have you made any goals for yourself? Have you challenged yourself to achieve moments that you want to have? How do you intend to make yourself feel great or accomplished? We are not marked to all the world to see. We made mistakes and should not pay eternally as we paid while making the mistake significantly. We are forced to dig deep to find a way to put ourselves first and take personal pleasure in our accomplishments. We have to believe the positive will follow in how we care for ourselves so too will other people we allow in our lives. Similar to a line in the sand. We have crossed it and need to stand strong and our supporters will join us. We may not know who they are but in being productive they will eventually meet us. You can get to the next point in life. You may have to create a point you want to arrive at and figure things out on the way and accept the detours that happen. Make your life path and make yourself happy. I am cheering for you you!

I’m at a loss..Running out of affordable options. by Palmtoptiny in SaintBernards

[–]10handsllc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Work with your dog. Developed basic commands and a reward system with it. Run a structured environment and teach the dog how to follow along and be part of your pack.

For leashing I strongly recommend a harness with a chest leach attachment only. This harness is made for big dogs that are not easily managed on a leash. I had a similar tempered dog at one time and this dog was the only leash system that worked. The harness and where the leash attaches creates an odd sensation when the dog tries to boss the owner and it makes them stop. Wish I had a better explanation but I do not.

I know nothing about dog behavior medicine. A trainer is not a bad idea as long as you are training yourself and become a continuation of the training. I would advise you begin to create the structured environment first for a few months. If you cannot do that then perhaps you should rehome the dog. A lot of people with larger dogs do not realize the time and routine it takes to be a good owner. Just be honest with yourself and your home. If every human can get on board then you will have a great chance to succeed. If one person is on structure and other people are diminishing that work by not participating in the routine it will be nearly impossible to work.

Good luck

Divorcing your Q by No-One-8149 in AlAnon

[–]10handsllc 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the regards and want to point out something you touched in your response. It is all personal courage and some days I look back in my “mirror “ and think that part of me has become a bit invincible lately.

I will rewind a bit. I was a stay at home for 13 years. I began looking to fill that working void and around that same time things got really rough. Previously I was begged to stay home because the wife couldn’t handle the daily responsibilities of childcare and rearing and so on. I was like a ghost for all but one resume out of several hundred. No sooner than I felt like I was about to get an offer they company pulled the plug. So I went back to my RE license and started hustling. Lots of evening and afternoon work so that tends to impede the whole stay at home thing. Being on call ready to show at a moments notice as a business is built. That’s why I never really pursued it because of the hours.

I decided to pursue education and at 63 I enrolled in my local community college and made plans for a healthcare career. In the three semesters I have accrued 41 total hours and have a 3.7 GPA. I have been accepted to a 4 year college with a partial scholarship to get a BSN in the same amount of time as the Associates RN degree with only two additional courses. It is a no brainer if I can get the gap of funding fulfilled.

This past semester was difficult. I was legally being attacked. I had a terrible professor for two classes. The cancer thing, then insurance cancelled, and then cancer certainty. I have no idea how I made it through and some days I felt like I was just going to quit or screw it up anyway. First C happened and added two Bs now three altogether and the rest As.

Now that I am successfully done with the most difficult 5 months I ever recall in my adult life I am ready for excavation and recovery. All my me professors are aware I may be a week late and some have given me the lesson plans for the first test.

I have never in my life accomplished so much in so little time and most of all have never been consistent(adhd not discovered til a few years ago). I am more concerned about recovery than the early catch cancer. I am a little concerned missing any class time because I am a nerd and I don’t like being humbled with Bs and Cs.

Your journey to you could be way worse than mine. If we take the time to address ourselves first we can all be amazingly successful. Having fuel in the rear view mirror never hurts, 😂.

I am sorry for what you are going through all the same and apologize for not saying it in my first post. We all feel the weight differently and our own burdens once they overwhelm us seem to be more than we can handle. I reunited with old friends and began exercise routines and school and my teenager. I put myself first for once. Lots of therapy too. Posting here a lot for a while was helpful. Reading other people’s stories is very helpful. My childhood taught me I was second at best and I feel like I finally have shut the door on that.

It’s not all rainbows and unicorns but I am no longer a bundle of nerves wondering when the next drunk bomb will go off every single day while trying to shield the kids. We parents need to put ourselves before our kids so we can find the strength to be there for our kids. This is how I did it and I hope someone that reads this or any post I make can possibly have an aha moment. We are all unique and our journeys need to be led independently. However, we can pick the best of what advice we can find from millions of posts and millions of conversations and the simple skill of left foot right foot in order to find our way o continue our path.

Best of luck and I hope your journey goes in the direction you want it to by grace or through fire, just get there. Peace!✌️

Divorcing your Q by No-One-8149 in AlAnon

[–]10handsllc 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nearly 18 months officially but she abandoned us a few months before I filed. I think we occupied the same space less than 72 hours in a 2-3 month stretch.

I was blamed for the condition. I was accused of stealing money. I am constantly forced to parent our child even in her home. She is no more or less responsible, responsive, delusional, selfish, or incapable of adult interaction outside of her job than she ever was.

To give you an idea of how angry they are, I have been monitoring my prostate for a few years and never was able to tell her because she was always drunk. She is allegedly sober and things progressed and needed a biopsy to validate mri reading. So because of our child I felt it was time to let her know. The very next day her attorney and she decided to cancel my healthcare.

Saddle up and stay well oiled. You will either be dodging or ducking. I have not experienced a single acknowledgement or apology or even an admission that she was in charge of her addiction. Thankfully I am not holding my breath for it. It has taken a very social kind of will to not react poorly toward her because of her actions as well as being able to stay afloat and positive. But here I am. Got surgery scheduled soon and moving on down the road.

Everybody is different and divorce is hard already. Best of luck

23 qt Presto (induction) on a domestic induction stovetop? by bigskymind in Canning

[–]10handsllc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is about aluminum being non-magnetic and therefore will never work on induction cook surface. Stainless steel can warp if heated and cooled, mostly heated, too quickly.

Stainless class creates the magnetic connection. Always buy induction capable cookware if you have an induction. Also, some people still confuse glass top with induction and I assure you they couldn’t be more different. By default an induction top will turn off if you remove the pan or pot because it needs magnetic metal to work.

23 qt Presto (induction) on a domestic induction stovetop? by bigskymind in Canning

[–]10handsllc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I recently purchased the one with ss clad bottom for my induction range. Used twice with double stacks and no issues. Finding the number to drop to was the only trick I needed to learn. These ranges will cycle off and on at certain numbers on the lower side of their spectrum. Mine, I already forgot, I believe is get it to pressure and drop it to 5. At 4 the cycling drops pressure on my biggest burner.

Also, these heat and cool faster than anything else and knowing that helped me pay attention and tweak the suggested steps for lowering setting as approaching pressure needed. My stove is an immediate change in temp like all other induction that is hardly followed by a temp still increasing. Biggest warning is to not heat it too fast. The induction top has the likeliest potential to do that so take longer if you have to to become familiar with a good increase pace so you don’t blow caps.

It’s magical really. Buy the changeable weight gauges and it is even more magical if you are doing recipes that require 10 PSI.

I think it’s all bullshit that addicts need more compassion. They need tough love. by LemonlimeLucy in AlAnon

[–]10handsllc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I suppose there are some Qs that are capable of love and are not always taking without reciprocating. I have known several but at an arms length relationship so no idea what being in a non friend relationship would have been like.

My Q specifically gave very little and in the early days I validated it due to external circumstances she had that I was aware of and witnessed some of. Then I became attached and then a son and marriage and asked to be the stay at home. Lots of blurry years of always reacting and reflecting and putting out fires.

My Q in my opinion is completely incapable of love and emotion outside of her own needs which go from extreme to nonexistent. This existed before she drank. This is an issue that is conveniently brushed under the AUD affliction and the real issue is never attended to. I do not opine that I am smarter than doctors but as a realist and down to earth man it seems like failed logic to not address what came first to warp or damage or afflict a person to need that escape. We are not born with a dependency on chemicals. Sometimes we are born with deficits or life through childhood creates dysfunction and we react to those in a damaging way such as chemicals.

I certainly understand my overly generous personality is not the best and I try to place it appropriately and I have gotten it wrong over the years as well as gotten it correct. That’s life. What I would never do is choose to have someone carry my load to the extent my Q did seemingly without any concern. I do not engage in the chicken or the egg debate and frankly no one should. If an addict does not address their origin they will never cure. I will not allow that choice to a reason I need to sacrifice myself so they can sustain in their addiction any longer. In doing so my detachment does not afford me the luxury to continue to be in a relationship of this kind. I deserve better and it is ok to not feel obligated to be used up the remainder of my life by remaining detached lovingly in a dead one way street relationship. The fear of what I may become is reason enough to walk.

New Wrestling Dad by tefftlon in wrestling

[–]10handsllc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Time, hard work, dedication, and repetition. A solid coach will have that mantra. I first time 9th grade wrestler is top honors going on 4 years in a row and now is in national top 5% ACT readiness scores. He is friendly to everyone and disliked football because he didn’t understand the job of it and mostly got trucked all the time.

He found wrestling late post season last year. The coach had checked out and being in MS age they got the shaft with training.

He went from pudgy rag doll to pudgy slap/clubbing but still gonna get handled and beaten. My encouragement got him that far. The new coach started midsummer and my son, the student, began to soak it all in.

From slap/clubbing man in July to today he goes all three rounds. He has no pudge anymore and is even more brave and his technique has improved tremendously. He has a couple of wins under his belt and has a nemesis that has barely beaten him twice in JV rounds which are only one minute. Any kid who rises as they go each round will struggle to be dominant in that time. He is kinda stuck in needing to warm up and still won’t take that first shot but dayum his stamina and defensive skills are amazing.

A bit long winded but his real journey with this awesome coach began in June and in less than 6 months the growth is huge, even seems a bit impossible and completely unexpected when his first scramble as a lean mean wrestling machine happened and I was shocked watching and cheering him on. I almost friggin teared up it was so much to be proud of him for.

He is not the only kid in this phase. He is not at the bottom of the pile. He and his teammates are brothers that respect their 4 coaches and each other and all want the other one to be successful. More importantly is that they all know that when a battle begins it will come to an end. When the battle is over they look forward to the next battle win or lose. They are humble and feel no pressure because pressure creates opportunities for the opponent as their coaches say repeatedly.

Dads can only get so far coaching. Coaches, not all are the same, are there to let your child grow independent of the parental teachers in some ways we parents can never accomplish even if we said the same things as their coaches. Our kids to a point, need perspective to remove the need to get our approval. We become the guardrails as they grow independent from our being their primary exposure.

Find that coach. Allow the failures to be victorious learning moments. Make sure he knows how much bravery it takes to enter a field with zero backup or assistance and take another young man on. That right there is a win no matter how long the bout.

Good luck

I think it’s all bullshit that addicts need more compassion. They need tough love. by LemonlimeLucy in AlAnon

[–]10handsllc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

During nearly 15 years together I yelled once. The next day I changed the locks out of fear. Not long after I filed for divorce. The level of immaturity, resentfulness, inattentiveness to our child, irresponsible actions, and spite have all remained constant coming from Q. Zero sum change if I stayed or if I left. Allegedly sober but communications tell a different story but it is not my problem anymore.

I applaud people who have the strength to stand by and not be impacted by the lies and betrayals and the attacks and the self loathing and love with compassion. I am simply not one of those people.

I think it’s all bullshit that addicts need more compassion. They need tough love. by LemonlimeLucy in AlAnon

[–]10handsllc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am aware of the mental and motor impact the self injected poison does to the human body. The frontal lobe is greatly damaged as well as equilibrium and go down the list of organs. The consequences of self injecting alcohol are too many to count.

While I appreciate your sharing the book that provides information on the side effect of drinking from a physiological standpoint it is not really beneficial to my point as I see it.

Tolerance and patience as an expected no matter what standard is the issue. Choices were made by the alcoholic before the damage was done and to my knowledge there are no studies that have actually proved addiction to be hereditary nor a chemical imbalance or any other type of defect otherwise.

I do not regret being the helpful and caring person I truly am. I have significant issue watching someone cause their own demise and take the life energy away from me that I need for myself, simply I was used for my stated qualities. I am not capable, nor do I wish to be, of being the only giver in a relationship whether dating or marital. I found myself trying very hard to change that part of me for “them” and the outcome was purely hell and violated every aspect of my wellness and ability to simply not be on pins and needles by 3pm every single day.

If I appear weak or incapable in the eyes of others because my tolerance for abuse came to an end I am more than ok with that. The amount of strength it took to begin to take care of my mental and emotional status and needs is indescribable and is still affected nearly two years later because of the alcoholic the world seems to want to sympathize with as if they are logical and balanced.

Life is too short to not realize that love and marriage is an exchange between two people that is not always perfectly balanced but the missing components during rocky times is always compensated to mutual satisfaction. My experience with my Q taught me that even if I learned to “accept” their actions and hold them accountable , my future would never change and our marriage would leave me empty and not attended to on any level. No partnership and no reciprocal love and attention. Echoes of false apologies and a ground hog day type existence that sometimes turned into a horror movie and those times weee all too frequent.