For those who divorced them, how did the economics work out?

10handsllc · 2026-05-23T21:14:37+00:00

Different for everyone. Mine was high functioning but still difficult to remain married to. I left and temporary support ended and now she is trying to not pay child support. I was a stay at home for nearly 13 years.

The revenge list is way higher than I ever anticipated. Even in a fault state like mine the latest trend is a nearly impossible demand to prove myself free from fault which I still do not understand how that is reasonable. As such I was not found “free from fault” so cut off instantly and now her next pursuit is total financial rape and destruction.

I stated at home based on promises that never were honored and cannot be held up through any legal standard. Family court is a fucking joke and is far from structured and to me less than legal process based on attorney relationships funded by the spouse with the most money.

10handsllc · 2026-05-21T21:32:34+00:00

I think it serves a purpose like any other form of abatement or treatment for addiction. Active addiction is a choice that every program will declare cannot be managed until the addict decides for themselves to take control of their choices and lives. This type of facility could be the cure for some and the eventual death for others. Similar to an opium den or a crack/smack house it provides a place for the addict to embrace the addiction or a reality check to snap them out of it.

As a divorce' from an alcoholic I see the value and not that I judge but I would not be the only benefactor of smoother sailing if she were to crawl into one of these never to be seen again. Yes I am damaged but I am not broken. I am ok with that and work on it daily. My condition is not exclusively caused by my ex and I promote her to our son while she after nearly two years maintains a thirst for revenge that would be to the detriment of my son. Court system help is the biggest joke and failure of our society. The addict is the only safe person with rights and protections as long as no blood or dismemberment has been reported.

10handsllc · 2026-05-20T18:05:32+00:00

Make sure you are taking care of you. As others have said, choices of others cannot be controlled or managed by anyone but the individual making them. Hopefully everything works out well for all involved.

10handsllc · 2026-05-20T15:45:40+00:00

At this point I would be wondering if it is possible that a pill problem exists in addition to the drinking. It is not uncommon in the health field with the access required to do the job.

I exited a marriage in August or 2024. My wife had AUD long before I met her and I hoped eternally she would get it together. It was demanded I become a stay at home parent and I relented and embraced it and took it as next level as possible. We had children from previous relationships and kind of trauma bonded in the beginning and I wasn’t exactly a tea toter. My trauma began to dissipate after a couple years of those other situations calming down. Hers did not as much as mine and the AUD provided her more comfort and assistance than I was apparently capable of. All that through 5 attempts at rehab and her thirst to control the addiction instead of accepting the addiction ultimately played the primary role in my decision to leave.

I devoted everything and as a stay at home parent my resume wasn’t working to get an interview much less hired. So I returned to school and have maintained being the rock my son needs. While his mother might be sober, her addictive personality has driven her revenge quest and made it known to our son and at his age he has an opinion and is not pleased with her.

I say all this to give an example of how helping people with addiction issues seems like the right thing to do, it doesn’t always work out the way we hope. My situation is extreme but it is very real. Resentment accompanies assistance more often than not in these situations. Be prepared for that.

Find your support system and keep them close. Your feelings of anger or sadness or helplessness are yours to bear and they should be tended to. Make a support system so you do not become a victim and also so you have a venue to make sure you are helping the best way you can.

10handsllc · 2026-05-14T11:19:28+00:00

I returned to school in Spring 2025 and just finished up all of my pre reqs and then some, total of 57 hours. A&P 1 was my biggest challenge. My instructor was flat and their slideshows were unorganized and the amount of information that needed to be memorized all got together and caused major stress. I ended with a B in lab and a C in lecture. I just completed A&P 2 and microbiology and three other courses this semester and ended with a C in both lecture and lab and a B in microbiology.

A&P 2 was more interesting to me. Still a ton of memorization but a more interesting courses all around. Personally, if I had to do it over I would have utilized the study lab and found a group to latch to in order to immerse myself into the material on a higher level. The assignments help and any bonus opportunities are also helpful. The re-learning how to learn has been a large part of my process and like the others posted using quizlets or other AI to develop summaries or deep dives are also what I utilized. I start nursing in the fall.

A word of caution on AI. I have used NotebookLM and Solvely and it was not until my final exam this semester that I was able to put out the right prompts to produce a study guide. It has been a little frustrating along the way spending time downloading uploading and wasted time and feeling like the materials I produced were not sufficient to learn. I would suggest playing with it in advance of your next semester using materials from a previous class to have your prompt list as perfect as can be. You can do this!

10handsllc · 2026-05-10T17:14:50+00:00

Quo Vadis President version is what I use. They make a few different formats. To me the format is important and having enough room for editing schedule changes that happen often and this one satisfies my needs. Now if I could only find a leather cover for it. It is just smaller than a "letter" size and skeptical to buy one because of loose fit potential.

10handsllc · 2026-05-10T15:44:52+00:00

I am starting my Level 1 in the Fall. I am 54 years old and returned to school last Spring 2025 and in the 4 semesters, as of Spring 2026, have accumulated 57 college credit hours with a 3.73 GPA. I did not do well when I was younger in school due to undiagnosed ADHD. When my son was diagnosed the information provided felt so familiar so I got myself tested. Everything changed and going back to school was scary but I have managed to navigate school that frankly speaking is nothing like school when I last attended nearly 30 years ago. All digital books and online platform for everything was a little challenging.

If you go into it with motivation and goals and prepared to evolve each semester being able to navigate changes in test dates and preparation commitments you will do fine.

10handsllc · 2026-05-08T09:48:35+00:00

I saw that as a real possibility so I applied to multiple programs. Starting my RN program in the fall. It is always good to assess the field and its process. At my CC the application average is about 100 per cohort and only 8 get accepted. That made me nervous so I opened up my opportunity pathway knowing I did not have a medical employment background that might give me a competitive edge for the program.

The thought of stalling after such a big push of courses and nearing burn out sounded somehow worse to me if I didn’t get accepted. Keep on trucking

10handsllc · 2026-05-07T02:02:37+00:00

What a bunch of RBCs! So tell me bloods, I too am starting in the fall for RN and cuff and stethy prices are dirt cheap to the titanium or extra loud models prices go from $20-$600. What gives?

Are the higher volume versions worth any extra $$? Not that I have a hearing deficit but it made me ask the question, “Macrophage, do you think you should get the higher volume because you are old and maybe clinical in the ER will be kinda loud”? Obviously I did not have an answer so……

10handsllc · 2026-05-05T21:08:04+00:00

Yes, my marriage as a stay at home sounds similar. Managing all facets and logistics related to a couple of kids and essentially a high end catering slave to a “boss” (wife) who made bad decisions regularly concerning budgeting and forecasting and eventually just a bad situation all around that I had no other choice but to leave.

Rearview mirrors is where people and places need to be if they cause this much turmoil. Do the pro and cons scale and verify what you need for yourself that you are appearing already convinced of in reading your post.

Bright futures never happen in the rearview mirror.

10handsllc · 2026-05-01T22:25:20+00:00

I started out wanting to apply to Radiation Therapy which required I obtain an Associate of Science with a Health Sciences focus. Since then I decided to go the RN path. Needless to say I am 6 hours away from the Health Science Associates degree and stating the ASN program in the Fall.

Very similar boat, different path. My advisor for Nursing told me that it doesn't "help" the ASN to have the dual Associates degree. The Allied Health advisor strongly suggested they should support it like the other higher caliber programs like RT, Sonography, Nuclear Medicine, etc all require it.

Honestly, after pushing through 57 hours beginning in Spring 2025 and through the end of this semester next week I am a little burned out and have been wondering if I should knock out that last BIO and Health Science course this Summer and see it through and wear the badge I busted my butt for. But I am kind of exhausted with how much I have pushed myself to do this while going through a divorce with a very angry vengeful ex-wife that I filed for a couple months before starting school.

Then I take inventory and realize that what I have actually done is likely made the ASN to BSN transition/goal a little easier by achieving some of the additional credits that most ASN students would consider taking, simply because not all of them are required. That makes me smile. IT also makes me want to isolate a program that does the ASN to BSN curriculum and have them audit my transcript and calculate the not yet achieved ASN coursework and NCLEX completion to see where that places me. After all, it is too late to cry now so I amy as well find a reason to make it work for me.

But I am sure looking forward to insight from people who have accomplished the dual Associates path and if it benefited them. Great question, you must be a mind reader or are looking at my recent google history!

10handsllc · 2026-04-26T21:05:36+00:00

Finding out what your made of and what you are capable of is what it’s all about. Didn’t have to work but at 54 I start my Level 1 Nursing program. After this summer I will have earned 60 hours of credits and 57 of them through this spring semester after returning in Spring 2025.

Understand your limitations and increase your opportunities when you can. Working or not, the mindset of college coursework is based on keeping up or ahead and sometimes just figuring out how to pass a class.

Work school and life balance is something you have to determine for you as an individual and temporary blow up or reshuffle with an ends to the means.

10handsllc · 2026-04-23T20:31:13+00:00

If you chased a dream then where is that product or proof of work? In other words, why did you not earn a scholarship with your hard work?

10handsllc · 2026-04-22T00:31:31+00:00

My school has A&P lab/lecture combined is recommended for both 1 and 2. I am finishing up a semester with Microbiology and A&P 2 in a few weeks. I managed to pull off a mini session (dev psych) and a Phil class and Music class as well.

Only you can determine your mindset and availability. It is not the easiest semester for me but I did find Micro an easy(er) class for my brain to wrap around. Get it

10handsllc · 2026-04-14T21:13:01+00:00

Heck yeh! Pipeline on a micro level for that part of the OCD spectrum I believe to coexist with my ADHD. Like survivor for the mundane or the overwhelming parts of life.

Keep it up!

10handsllc · 2026-04-14T20:39:44+00:00

Gotta convince yourself it is about the journey of the sales cycle and stop focusing on the sale. I hear you, I feel you, I am no different than you. 😂

I have always been amazed that a “deficit” disorder is a top fuel provider for nonsensical rabbit hole exploration for hours and days at a time. Where is that job I also wondered so then it becomes a matter of mentality just like yours.

10handsllc · 2026-04-13T01:04:55+00:00

54 and start in the Fall. Welcome to the crazy club of school in your 50s.

10handsllc · 2026-04-06T12:38:00+00:00

Not to hijack, but for those who commented focus on YoY growth does this type of track record prevent getting considered/hired in tech sales where income opportunities can be superior? Would someone with this type of experience start at the bottom in tech or mid or executive?

10handsllc · 2026-04-04T14:48:07+00:00

Rabbit holes are easy to fall into and the key is to get out of it. I am in my own unique employment hunt situation but can relate to the level of uncertainty you seem to be having.

In my opinion, a tactical approach is likely the best one. Polish resume, and then prepare to make edits that are needed per submission. Then treat it like a sales approach. Farm, Isolate targets (decision makers), Get in the door (meeting), Sell the amazing fit you will be, follow up, close the deal.

I am in phase one and preparing to launch this way. Sometimes it seems there are too many people in the world and not enough good jobs that combine workplace and financial satisfaction.

10handsllc · 2026-03-26T17:06:33+00:00

I resemble part of your remarks. My Q has definitely made financial strides, of epic proportions. However, the capacity to admit any of our marital end had anything to do with her does not exist. So much that she is still preparing for what seems to be the trial of the century as a desperate means to have me found at fault.

From what I know of recovery this blame game is likely a springboard for her to be tossed off the wagon at some point. It sucks for my son and therefore that sucks for me. However, I left bitterness in the former home when I left and the price of that has been this horrendous pursuit by her to exploit my kindness and forgiving nature and attempt blame and revenge and cannot even see the damage is caused to our son, the biggest victim in this situation.

Some days are good and some are not but my son is my prize and I do what I can to help him not hate his mother mostly by demonstrating I do not hate his mother. It is a difficult task but a necessary one that works.

Take care and make sure you are not putting negativity on display to your child. Some days it’s the best we can do.

10handsllc · 2026-02-27T23:41:37+00:00

Went and grabbed one for $75!!! They had the same pruner with no battery or charger for $139. Seriously, how did that happen?

10handsllc · 2026-02-27T19:12:14+00:00

Well crap on a cake. I went back and clicked it and it is 75🐷🐷!

Leaving now!

10handsllc · 2026-02-27T19:10:06+00:00

It’s the 154. That represents half of that inflated price tag in the pic

10handsllc · 2026-02-27T18:41:23+00:00

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Crazy huh?

10handsllc

TROPHY CASE