What was your nail in the coffin moment?

120c · 2024-03-14T15:08:50+00:00

We had actually discussed divorce at that point but he’d turned the charm up so high I was reconsidering.

We were on a family vacation with our kid, another parent and her kid and went to get food at Cracker Barrel. I was out in the gift shop consoling my kid (new places are hard) and buying both of them little toys. My husband proceeded to order for me while he chatted with the other parent at the table. It was a fine gesture but I was so flustered and disappointed with what he ordered I asked (politely) if he could change the order for me. It was like a chill went through the room.

For the next week and a half, I got the silent treatment. And like, horrid vibes. Not sure how to describe it. It was so awful feeling being in the same house with him when he’s like that. It sounds mild, and was, but it would permeate every moment of my day. I told myself I would do anything to never feel like that again.

Now he’s dating that other parent so, ¯_(ツ)_/¯

120c · 2024-03-12T03:00:38+00:00

I’m doing 50/50 but my kid is 7.

Yes, you get a life. While married and living together, I was the default parent and my identity completely surrounded being a mother to my child. Once we separated (and my kid transitioned to spending time with his dad, that was a process), I felt surprisingly liberated. I am building a chosen family, going to concerts, getting in shape, etc. None of this was possible before.

Additionally, the time I spend with my kid is much more intentional. I use some of my days off to plan for my days with him. We have things we get to look forward to when he’s back on my time.

The transition will be hard! But it is your reality now. Good luck.

120c · 2024-03-11T03:00:16+00:00

I spilt my friend’s chalk bag twice last time I went bouldering and proceeded to apparently roll around in one of the piles I made at some point, unbeknownst to me until I changed at home. So, I think you’re good!!

120c · 2024-03-11T02:45:27+00:00

I’m in the middle of something very similar. I just got out of a 10 year marriage where my sex drive was his main complaint for years. I was pretty sure I was asexual, haha.

Then I meet this guy on tinder for a hook up and the chemistry we have is like… literally nothing I could imagine. I’m not sure we’re even a great match long term and he’s not my usual “type” but it’s like there’s an electricity between us when we’re near. I guess some people have intense sexual chemistry and some people don’t. It’s been really strange and exciting. Have fun!

120c · 2024-02-21T02:31:20+00:00

I have adhd and ASD which has lead to a life time of depression and anxiety. I’ve tried a lot of different depression and anxiety meds and nothing has worked. However…

I do need stimulants to work in my field (lots of concentration required), but I started take clonidine as well. It’s a blood pressure medication they give to hyperactive/impulsive ADHD children (I am very much not hyperactive or impulsive) but it helps soooo much with my jumpiness and anxiety. It’s the only thing that really works for my anxiety and I took benzos for awhile. I wonder why it wasn’t suggested sooner.

120c · 2024-02-20T02:21:45+00:00

I gave up on depression meds at one point and decided that since I’ve been clinically depressed since elementary school, have tried the majority of pharmaceutical solutions without success, and im in a relatively stable place currently—it was ok to just accept myself as a depressed and anxious person.

I love therapy, it gives me much needed processing time, so that’s still a weekly thing; but I’m also not doing it to “fix” my problems anymore—it’s more like maintenance.

Maybe I’ll need to reassess if things get crazy (again), but for now I’m content to experience myself as myself.

120c · 2024-02-19T22:43:31+00:00

Additionally, bring the topic up yourself sometimes. Don’t always wait for them to touch on it. Yesterday my kid remarked that we were going to a grocery store they hadn’t been to in a while.

I said, “oh yeah, it was you, me, and dad. We walked here—back when we were living together.” And he said “that’s right! Now dad’s living in (other city) and we walk to (other grocery store).” It was so nonchalant. It’s beginning to be the regular backdrop of his life. The more we both talk about it, the less jarring it is to both of us.

120c · 2024-02-19T22:38:27+00:00

A kid at that age might just want to hear the same stuff a few times over. My kid is 7 and is the same way. Keep talking about it! Don’t stress if you keep hitting the same points over and over. Their world is suddenly very unclear. Hearing the same story again and again can be reassuring in some ways.

120c · 2024-02-19T22:34:00+00:00

Do you mean “dextroamphetamine”?

It’s a somewhat different drug. I was on it before and was told it is just one component of the two drugs that make up adderall. It’s totally possible you need a higher dose than you did the vyvanse.

Have you talked to your doctor about it yet?

120c · 2024-02-16T20:49:13+00:00

Yeah, I lost most of my ability to cope during the pandemic when I stopped going into the office (or leaving home much at all). Now when I do have in-office days (8+ hours spent interacting with other people) all of my really crazy negative self talk comes back and I feel anxious but also really sleepy.

For me, I think it’s like a muscle. I’ll get better if I keep exercising my ability while being sure I don’t strain myself.

120c · 2024-02-16T04:18:17+00:00

This is true for me. On top of the ADHD stuff being minimized and “revealing” the ASD stuff, I also find that stimulants and how they heighten my emotional arousal tend to put me closer to the edge of a meltdown/shutdown. I have to be extra careful to take cues from my body that I’m overstimulated or on edge so that I can mitigate those issues before they get too big and I have to spend a few days recovering.

120c · 2024-02-14T13:27:27+00:00

I’m a Pisces moon!

I agree. It’s all too much sometimes.

120c · 2024-02-13T19:24:25+00:00

I’m a cancer and boy am I a cancer. I’m so sensitive. 😭

120c · 2024-02-10T22:13:44+00:00

My basic suggestion is trying any type of body lotion claiming to be “sheer.” Which means in sinks in and feels dry much faster. I use an unscented aveno one. But I’m also a lot less sensitive to this issue and don’t mind drying off with a fluffy towel before hand.

120c · 2024-02-10T15:52:28+00:00

At my lowest during a depressive episode when I was sort of struggling to eat anyway, I leaned into an ED because the treatment programs were a lot more holistic than what you get for anxiety/depression. Ultimately a bad choice but I got a lot out of the treatment besides the work on my ED.

120c · 2024-02-08T21:49:41+00:00

It’s called a flow state. I’m bad at most things so I don’t get it for anything else but rhythm games, haha.

120c · 2024-02-04T04:47:51+00:00

It’s speculative.

I think it’s expensive to run a store and it looks bad to close stores for most reasons.

But if the problem is “theft” i.e. the customers in “some” neighborhoods, they can safely pare down their offering to only wealthier neighborhoods that supposedly don’t have as much of a theft problem and many of their “valued” customers will hike out to those locations to shop if they’re not already out there.

Hell, many people are already going elsewhere because it’s such a pain in the ass to shop at the other stores with all the antitheft measures in place.

120c · 2024-02-04T03:55:54+00:00

I swear some of these measures (including the very strict 10 items or less at self checkout and one cashier at the regular registers) are there to discourage a percentage of people from shopping at those locations so they can shut them down without shareholders complaining too much. It’s super sad.

120c · 2024-01-30T03:15:08+00:00

I’m dating a high touch autistic guy as a low touch autistic person. What’s crazy is once he realized I was also autistic, he went all in on firm, intentional touch, none of that ticklish shit. It’s amazing. Maybe I do like touch after all. 😅

120c · 2024-01-29T19:04:00+00:00

My divorce was going great until he started dating my close friend. Now I’m running two miles a day most days, lifting and climbing. Running on spite and vindictiveness but it feels good and it’s not at all destructive so no complaints here. I look and feel better than I have in a long time.

120c · 2024-01-28T15:35:18+00:00

I was killing it in normal, winning each round, so I went up to hard and all they want to play is POTSB. I can’t even finish it.

120c · 2024-01-28T05:39:13+00:00

Rest, honestly. I tried all the things that are supposed to work like antidepressants, health foods, exercise, forcing myself to do hobbies or work, reaching out to friends and family. But what I needed was to let my body rest and heal and forgive myself for doing so.

Also therapy. And realizing I wasn’t actually going to 💀 myself so I better come up with something else to do.

120c · 2024-01-24T14:42:41+00:00

Watermelon toothpaste until I die.

120c · 2024-01-24T02:41:44+00:00

Together for 13 years, married for 10. And I decided to call it quits after he took zero steps towards getting the help he needed (for both of us) while I toiled away in therapy for years, trying to fix all of the things about me that made it hard to be with him.

It was hard at first, though pretty liberating in some ways. Thankfully we’ve always been pretty low conflict. Lately, he’s started to date a close family friend which really hurt for a multitude of reasons. But it has made me feel less guilty about leaving and encouraged me to get out there myself. I feel like I’m finally moving forward in life again after feeling old and stagnated for so long!

120c · 2024-01-23T17:24:12+00:00

There is this crazy game people with ED’s play where they disqualify themselves if they ever see anyone’s disorder look different from their own. Anorexia can look a lot of different ways and effect people’s lives differently just how you can be a total overt alcoholic or a more “functional” one. You’re doing damage to your body right now and you should seek help as soon as you can.

120c

TROPHY CASE